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What It's Really Like to Join an Ayahuasca Retreat Alongside Spiritual Experts

For a few twilight hours in a remote jungle of the Spanish Caribbean , I ceased to exist. On my first-ever ayahuasca retreat, a medicine journey that was facilitated by a local healing couple I met while traveling, I curled up inside a sleeping bag beneath a canvas tent structure, with a warm heap of wool blankets on top of me, and was lulled into one of the most transformative awakenings of my life. Over the course of one night, I was transported far and wide, and into a realm I never knew existed.

I didn’t go to the Caribbean seeking ayahuasca; it found me. After befriending a medicine woman who introduced me to the two experts, I ended up extending my trip by a week in order to experience the substance for the first time. Though the word ‘ayahuasca’ wasn’t part of my vocabulary before this 2016 experience, I’ve since participated in other ceremonies. I’ll always regard this initial experience as a new starting point of my life. It was the moment that set me along my spiritual path, into a life full of big adventures and endless wells of creativity—and I have the learnings of Indigenous experts with cultural and spiritual connections to ayahuasca to thank for that. The Western world’s recent scientific research on ayahuasca's benefits prove what Indigenous cultures in the Amazon Basin have always known: The plant is a highly powerful, transportive substance that can be used to treat physical and mental ailments, and experiencing it with the help of those practiced in its traditions can expand the mind in ways you might have never thought possible.

I didn’t go to the Caribbean seeking ayahuasca; it found me.

My first ayahuasca experience went something like this: After a shaman cleared my nostrils with rapé—a dried, powdered tobacco snuff that’s shot up participants’ noses with a pipe to begin a ceremony—I drank my first of three cups (the plant is brewed into a tea and ingested). Little did I know, as the bitter, mud-like brew slid its way into my system, that I was about to go on the ride of a lifetime. Over the course of about six hours, I took on a series of forms: a nameless bird; a snake in a pit of other snakes. I even lost all concept of my own appearance—what qualities my face had, from my nose to even the color of my eyes.

I mentally traveled back in time to meet the first ancestor of my entire lineage, who danced in the woods morphing between two forms—that of a wolf and a man—before being suddenly transported to a cave full of drawings I couldn’t decipher but somehow understood. Next, I was whisked away in flight, sweeping across the snowy peaks of the Andes as the mountain range broke apart below me, almost like a game of Tetris. I saw Machu Picchu spinning on an axis of geometric cubes, twisting and turning as what appeared to be Lego-like warriors jumped in and out of the structure. Then, in a moment of engulfing hilarity, I lay in a fetal position completely consumed by laughter.

A ceremonial maloca , a wooden ceremonial structure with a thatched roof, at Mama Yura Healing Art Center in Peru

Curandera Daniela Riojas during a dieta ayahuasca retreat in Pucallpa, Peru

The ayahuasca plant recently became part of a greater movement to decriminalize psychedelics in the United States, which has seen a rise in acceptance of the substance and others like it. Popular shows like Netflix’s  How to Change Your Mind (or any of  Michael Pollan ’s psychedelic-therapy books, upon which that TV series is based) question why many psychedelics were considered Schedule I drugs in the first place (as ayahuasca still is) and examine how they can be used to treat mental illnesses and expand the mind. The substance is also seen by many as a spirituality tool, and according to the  Pew Research Center’s Forum on Religion & Public Life , nearly 27 percent of Americans considered themselves spiritual—not religious—as of 2017. Though there are still many unknowns regarding the full effect of ayahuasca on the human experience, if my own is any indication, the mental and emotional gates this plant can open seem promising. But how does it actually work?

The Indigenous origins of ayahuasca, and how a ceremony works

It’s important to respect the use of the plant, and Indigenous people who have used it for centuries, as the cultural harbingers of its healing qualities. Ayahuasca is considered medicine, and should not be used recreationally or without the supervision of practiced healers who have studied the medicine in countries where it is legal and there is a cultural connection to the substance—such as Peru, where the plant originates. The same is true of Mexico and Colombia.

According to the  Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS), ayahuasca's psychoactive properties are most commonly derived from  Banisteriopsis caapi , a vine containing monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs), and the leaves of  Psychotria viridis, or other plant containing  N,N -dimethyltryptamine (DMT). It’s believed that the DMT found in ayahuasca activates the DMT naturally found in a person’s pineal gland, often considered the third eye portal amongst the spiritual set and Indigenous healers. Many healers and shamanic practitioners believe this leads to the vision quests that ensue after ingesting the brewed version of ayahuasca, and why participating in ceremony is a way to connect deeper to your truest self.

Ayahuasca journeys can range from one-night events to multi-day  dietas , which usually require a participant to refrain from any intense physical stimulants such as sex, alcohol, and rich foods for a period of time. Most ceremonies are held in a  maloca , a wooden ceremonial structure with a thatched roof, and begin at sunset and end the following morning before dawn, lasting around five to six hours. In my experience, a ceremony usually includes fewer than 20 participants and begins with some type of cleansing initiation through the use of tobacco snuff, such as  rapé , or  mapacho . After ingesting the medicinal tea, most participants will experience a purging reaction, which could include vomiting or even a bowel movement. Participants can drink three cups—each about the size of an espresso shot—throughout the night. Shamans and healing elders usually sing  icaros , or prayers through song, to facilitate a sense of calm and tranquility. While some ceremonies observe a practice known as noble silence, many rituals encourage participants to emote as necessary: crying, screaming, and purging included.

While no two ceremonies are the same, an ayahuasca retreat will typically follow a spiritually-similar thread that’s meant to evoke the utmost calm and protection of participants. If you do feel called to take part in a ceremony, it’s important to do your own research to find the right experience for you: I’ve traveled hours into the rainforest for ceremonies and walked away without participating because it didn’t feel right. Your intuition is often your best guide when deciding whether you feel safe with a certain facilitator or not. Here, a trusted selection of healers and retreat centers to consider for your ayahuasca journey.

Editor’s note: All experts below have agreed to be included in this article. All three nations included below legally permit the use of ayahuasca.

Temple of the Way of Light's Maestra Laura picks leaves for a ceremony

Iquitos, Peruvian Amazon

Located about two hours into the rainforest (by car and then boat) from downtown Iquitos, in Peru’s Amazon Basin, the  Temple of the Way of Light is a healing center offering 12-day ayahuasca retreats, with six ayahuasca ceremonies over the course of the experience. In the plant’s region of origin, local Indigenous healers lead the ceremonies at this center’s rainforest setting, many of whom travel by boat from their home communities located further up the Ucayali River—a tributary of the Amazon.

Operating according to Shipibo Indigenous tradition, each ceremony is held by a team of four Onanya (the Shipibo language word meaning a person who has wisdom). Each of them has studied the healing modality for a minimum of ten years to equip them to safely and responsibly deliver ayahuasca healing. During ceremony, the oni (a word that means wisdom in Shipibo, but is used as a synonym for ayahuasca), is served while Shipibo healers sing songs; together, the experience is meant to purge negative, heavy energies from the body, also known as mawa niwe .

Bacalar, Mexico

Hosting multi-day ayahuasca retreats in the lagoon-side town of Bacalar, in Mexico’s Yucatán Peninsula, is Peruvian-American healer and curator Amalia Moscoso , who brings together medicine men and women, facilitators, and shamans of all backgrounds to create each of her experiences. The retreats also infuse additional healing elements that complement each guest’s medicine journey, from a temazcal sweat-lodge ceremony to  janzu therapies, a water-based healing meditation. Her offerings also include cognitive workshops to assist in mental, emotional, and physical integration and rewiring to create neural pathways in the brain.

Valle del Cauca, Colombia

In the verdant hills outside of Cali, in Colombia’s southwestern bounds, the Colombian healer Taita Edwin leads healing ayahuasca ceremonies at his family’s private farm. During Edwin’s spiritual ceremonies, the medicine, or ayahuasca, is treated as a sacrament, a link to the spiritual realm, with a focus on creating a safe space and allowing people to surrender to their processes with deep compassion, love, and care. Besides an opening and closing prayer, there is no strict structure to the ceremonies. However, each does include two or more sharing circles so that everyone can express themselves, find clarity, and find common ground in the shared experience. More information can be found by  reaching out directly via email .

Pucallpa, Peru

Along the Ucayali River in the town of Pucallpa in the eastern bounds of Peru’s Amazon Rainforest, Indigenous Mexican healer and facilitator  Daniela Riojas leads ayahuasca ceremonies in partnership with the Onanya of the region. After first participating in an ayahuasca ceremony in 2015, Riojas, an artist and musician by trade, began her extensive studies of the plant and its medicine during apprenticeships with master healers that included participating in multi-day  dietas . The ceremonies she facilitates include holding space through icaros , prayers that embody the healing power of the region’s plants and animals. Each experience is held during the night in a ceremonial  maloca to help facilitate each participant’s journey inward.

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The brutal mirror

What the psychedelic drug ayahuasca showed me about my life.

by Sean Illing

When I finally puked on the fourth night, I felt an odd sense of pride.

Inside the loud, stuffy ceremony room, people were laughing, crying, chanting, gyrating, and, yes, vomiting, around me. When my time finally comes, I think: Just aim for the bucket and keep your ass above your head like the shaman told you.

I try to wipe my face but can’t grab the tissue paper because it melts every time I reach for it. Nearby, a man starts to scream. I can’t make out what he’s saying on account of the shaman singing beautiful Colombian songs in the other room.

I finish vomiting and start crying and laughing and smiling all at once. Something has been lifted in this “purge,” something dark and deep I was carrying around for years. Relief washes over me, and I slowly make my way back to my mattress on the floor.

For four consecutive nights, a group of 78 of us here at a retreat center in Costa Rica have been drinking a foul-tasting, molasses-like tea containing ayahuasca, a plant concoction that contains the natural hallucinogen known as DMT.

We’re part of a wave of Westerners seeking out ayahuasca as a tool for psychological healing, personal growth, or expanding consciousness.

I flew to Costa Rica hoping to explode my ego. And I was not prepared for what happened. Ayahuasca turned my life upside down, dissolving the wall between my self and the world. I also stared into what I can only describe as the world’s most honest mirror. It was a Clockwork Orange -like horror show, and it was impossible to look away. But I saw what I needed to see when I was ready to see it.

Ayahuasca exposes the gap between who you think you are and who you actually are. In my case, the gap was immense, and the pain of seeing it for the first time was practically unbearable.

An ayahuasca boom

Ayahuasca remains a fringe psychological medicine, but it’s slowly working its way into the mainstream. Until fairly recently, you had to travel to South America if you wanted to experiment with the plant, but now ayahuasca ceremonies are popping up in the United States and Europe.

Indigenous people in countries like Colombia and Peru have been brewing the concoction for thousands of years, mostly for religious or spiritual purposes. It’s considered a medicine, a way to heal internal wounds and reconnect with nature.

It wasn’t until 1908 that Western scientists acknowledged its existence; British botanist Richard Spruce was the first to study it and write about the “purging” it invokes. He was mainly interested in classifying the vines and leaves that made up the magic brew, and in understanding its role in Amazonian culture.

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Ayahuasca emerged again in the early 1960s with the counterculture movement. Beat writers like William Burroughs, Allen Ginsberg, and Jack Kerouac all described their experiences with ayahuasca, most famously in Burroughs’s book The Yage Letters . Scientist-hippies like Terence McKenna and Timothy Leary then went to South America to research and experience the drug firsthand. All of this helped bring ayahuasca into Western culture, but it was never truly popularized.

Today, the tea is having a bit of a moment.

Celebrities like Lindsay Lohan , Sting , and Chelsea Handler have spoken about their experiences with it. “I had all these beautiful images of my childhood and me and my sister laughing on a kayak, and all these beautiful things with me and my sister,” Handler told the New York Post after her first ayahuasca trip. “It was very much about opening my mind to loving my sister, and not being so hard on her.”

Handler’s experience appears to be common. The scientific evidence on ayahuasca is limited, but it is known to activate repressed memories in ways that allow people to come to a new understanding of their past. In some cases, it helps people work through memories of traumatic events, which is why neuroscientists are beginning to study ayahuasca as a treatment for depression and PTSD. (There are physical and psychological risks to taking it as well — it can interfere with medication and exacerbate existing psychiatric conditions.)

• The fascinating, strange medical potential of psychedelic drugs, explained in 50+ studies

What I was looking for

My interest in ayahuasca was specific: I wanted to cut through the illusion of selfhood. Psychedelics have a way of tearing down our emotional barriers. You feel plugged into something bigger than yourself, and — for a moment, at least — the sensation of separation melts away.

Buddhists, cognitive scientists, and philosophers have all made persuasive arguments that there is nothing like a “fixed self,” no thinker behind our thoughts, no doer behind our deeds. There is only consciousness and immediate experience; everything else is the result of the mind projecting into the past or the future.

But this is a difficult truth to grasp in everyday life. Because you’re conscious, because it’s like something to be you, it’s very easy to believe that a wall exists between your mind and the world. If you’re experiencing something, then there must be a “you” doing the experiencing. But the “you” in this case is just an abstraction; it’s in your mind, not out there in the world.

One way to escape this trap, I hope, is to get the hell out of my head

I spent about five years as a philosophy graduate student and another few as a teacher. I understood these arguments in intellectual terms but not in experiential terms. I’ve tried meditating, and I’m terrible at it. My mind is a parade of discordant thoughts, and as a result, I’m rarely present — in conversations, during meditation, in daily life.

One way to escape this trap, I hope, is to get the hell out of my head.

There are many ways to reach the truth of non-selfhood. Think of it as a mountain peak, with meditators and certain spiritual traditions ascending different sides. Psychedelic drugs offer a kind of shortcut; you get a glimpse of this higher truth without all those years of serious, disciplined practice.

That shortcut is what I was after.

Night 1: dread

The approach at this retreat center, called Rythmia, is all-encompassing. During the day they pamper you with all the luxuries of a wellness retreat — massages, volcanic mud baths, organic food, yoga classes, colonic cleanses. Then at night, you drink ayahuasca and put yourself through emotional and physical hell.

One of the first things I was told is that I had to enter the ayahuasca ceremony with a clear goal or question in mind: What do you want to learn about yourself?

The trained facilitators who led the ceremonies recommend that you begin with a simple request: Show me who I’ve become.

The question implies that at some point you lost yourself, that when you were a child, your soul was pure, open, uncorrupted by culture. As you enter society, you lose that childlike love for the world. You start to judge yourself by external standards. You compare yourself to friends, neighbors, and peers. You develop an ego, an identity, and your well-being becomes bound up with these constructs.

Do I really want to see what I’ve become? I’m pretty sure I won’t like the answer.

There’s nothing new about these ideas, but they strike me as true all the same. So I decide to focus on self-discovery.

It’s now 5:15 pm, and the first ceremony starts in 15 minutes. I’m terrified. “Do I really want to see what I’ve become?” I keep asking. I’m pretty sure I won’t like the answer — almost no one does, it seems.

The doors open, and all 78 of us here for this week-long session pour into the ceremony room, called the “flight deck.” The room is big, divided into three sections, and there are two bathrooms on each side. It’s dimly lit, and mattresses are lined up on the floor against the walls. The beds are only a few inches apart. At the foot of each mattress is a roll of toilet paper and a blue or red bucket.

I pounce on the first mattress I see; it’s near the door and just a few feet from the bathroom. I feel safe here. To my right is Chad, a photographer from Ontario who looks as nervous as I am but somehow seems more prepared for this. To my left is a giant window that opens to a view of the courtyard.

The stuff is nasty, like a cup of motor oil diluted with a splash of water

There’s a nervous collective energy. Almost everyone here is doing ayahuasca for the first time, and we’re all scared shitless. They announce the first call to drink, and I make my way to the front of the line. One by one, we take our cups, silently reflect on the intention for the evening, and then drink.

It’s my turn to drink. The stuff is nasty, like a cup of motor oil diluted with a splash of water. I throw it back like a shot of cheap bourbon.

We’re instructed to sit up and lean against the wall after the first cup. The tea takes at least 30 minutes to work its way through the body. I sit quietly for 45 minutes, maybe an hour, and then I lie down on my mattress and wait.

Nothing happens. I feel a little dizzy but nothing overwhelming. I go outside, walk around a bit, feel my feet in the grass. Then they announce a call for the second drink. I remember the mantra here: “Drink, don’t think.” If you can hear the call, if you can move your body, you drink. So I awkwardly drag myself out of bed and head to the front for a second cup.

About 30 minutes pass, and I start to feel ... strange. I can see colors, shapes, and shifting shadows on the wall. I’m nervous that something is about to happen, so I go outside and gather myself. I settle in one of the hammocks and stare at the stars.

Suddenly the stars start to spin in a clockwise direction. Then a little faster. Then, for reasons that escape me, I start yelling at the moon. So it goes, for what feels like an hour or two. I keep hurling those two questions at the heavens but get no answers, no insights, just silence and spinning.

I walk back inside and collapse in my bed. For the rest of the night, I see sporadic visions of geometric figures, a few flashes of light, but that’s about it. Then one of the assistants starts to ring a gentle bell.

It’s 2 am, and it’s time to close the ceremony.

Night 2: “Don’t fight the medicine”

The next day I realize why I had no great revelations on the first night. I couldn’t let go. I thought I was prepared for the trip, but anxiety got the better of me. As soon as I thought something — anything — was about to happen, I tried to think myself out of the experience.

Tonight will be different. I’m going to stay in the moment, stay with my breath, and see what happens.

The facilitator is Brad, a kind, aggressively tanned guy from Indianapolis who was trained in ayahuasca by a tribe in Peru. The facilitators play an important role each night, even though there isn’t much one-on-one interaction. They set the tone, guide the ceremony, explain where the medicine came from and how it works, and they assist the people who need it throughout the night.

Brad tells us to let go and give in. “Don’t fight the medicine,” he says. “Just listen.”

It’s cooler tonight, but there’s a warm breeze rolling through the room. Most of the people around me are scribbling last-minute notes in their journals; others are sitting stoically waiting for the first call.

I take my first drink around 7:30 pm, though I can’t know for sure because phones and electronics are shut down as soon as you enter the flight deck. My intention is the same as it was the first night: Show me who I’ve become.

I can tell quickly that this will be different. It’s 30 or 40 minutes after the first drink, and already my senses are overwhelmed. Every time I open my eyes, the space around me starts to fold, kind of like what Einstein describes in his theory of relativity. But it also looks like a tightly woven spider web, and when I move my hand it starts to bend.

Before I know it, they make the call for a second drink. “Don’t think, drink,” I keep telling myself. So I stumble to the front and drink another cup. Then things get weird.

All of a sudden, Andrea has 40 or 50 yellow snakes gushing out of her mouth and into mine

I roll onto my right side and see Andrea, a woman from Toronto, struggling to vomit. Brad, the facilitator, had said the Peruvian and Columbian tribes that use ayahuasca see purging — vomiting, diarrhea, crying, laughing, and yawning — as a vital part of the healing the drug brings. When you purge, you’re expelling all the nastiness — the stress, the anxieties, the fears, the regrets, the hatred, the self-loathing.

All of a sudden, Andrea has 40 or 50 yellow snakes gushing out of her mouth and into mine. And then I’m immediately racked with the worst nausea I’ve ever experienced. First I curl up in the fetal position and then I spring onto all fours and try to puke. But I can’t get it out. I stay on my knees for another five or 10 minutes waiting for something to happen. Nothing.

Then I lie back down, roll onto my left shoulder, and am flooded with a resounding message for the rest of the night: It’s not about you! Andrea’s pain and suffering — the snakes — had passed into me, and that was the whole point.

For the rest of the night, maybe another three hours or so, I lie there thinking about how selfish I often am, and about the symbolism of the snakes. The feeling was so powerful that I started to cry. (Side note: people cry a lot on ayahuasca.)

The next day, Andrea tells me that she never managed to purge but that her nausea suddenly disappeared, after which she drifted into a peaceful half-sleep. I don’t know if that occurred around the time I saw those snakes, but the thought of it kept me up that night.

I’m not bothered by the thought of taking on her pain; it’s the whole wild scene — the snakes, the nausea, the visions. I can’t explain any of it and yet it was unshakably authentic.

Night 3: making love to my wife for the first time — again

I’m halfway through this thing, and so far it’s not at all what I expected. I still haven’t had to confront my past in the way I anticipated I would.

The third ceremony is led by two women. The facilitator is Abby, a young, quietly authoritative woman from Cincinnati who’s assisted by Kat from Montana. Both trained in Peru.

Abby begins by telling us that tonight is about the feminine spirit. “It’s a celebration of creation,” she says, “of birth and renewal.” The idea is calming.

I strike up a conversation with the guy next to me. His name is Brad and he’s another Canadian, a publisher from Toronto. This is his second trip to Rythmia, and he tells me that he plans to sell his business after this. “My whole identity is tied up in that,” he says, and “I don’t want that anymore.”

Before I can respond, there’s the first call to drink. The brew is thicker tonight, and it tastes like wax and vinegar. It hits hard and fast. I am hallucinating within 20 or 30 minutes.

I see myself floating in my mother’s womb, suspended in fluids and flesh. And then I see her life — it’s not quite like a movie; it’s more like a series of flashing visions that are just clear enough to resonate. I see her pain, her confusion. I see how hard it was for her to have me at 20 years old, and how little I’d thought about that.

I see her and my father, in a college apartment, wondering what the hell they’re going to do next. I realize how fucking terrified I would have been in that spot at that age. A wave of compassion washes over me; whatever resentments I was holding on to drop away.

Then the call for a second drink comes. I drink, walk outside, and then go right back to bed.

The scene shifts and I’m floating in what I assume is a kind of primordial soup. I think I’m a vibrating particle now, and string theory suddenly makes sense in a way I could never explain (I suck at math).

Abby starts to sing songs called icaros, which are performed in ayahuasca ceremonies throughout the Amazon. I sink deeper into a trance. My mind is speeding, and my body is frozen stiff. But a calm takes over me, and I start to smile and laugh.

I start to see every moment of our relationship in which she reached out to me and I missed it

I roll back onto my right side, and suddenly I see my wife’s face. I relive the first time we made love. We’re in college near a lake on campus. I can see our bikes behind us, the water in front of us, the blanket beneath us, and the grass all around us. I can smell the air. I relive this moment, understanding finally what made it so special.

There was no ego. I wasn’t an isolated “I,” a separate person with a separate consciousness. The feeling, I imagine, isn’t much different from what advanced meditators experience when their sense of self disappears. You simply have no awareness of anything but your body and the moment.

But then the vision turns dark.

I start to see every moment of our relationship in which she reached out to me and I missed it. I see her asking me to go to a meditation class, and I decline. I see her pause to ask me to connect at the peak of a mountain after a long hike in Boulder, Colorado, and I shrug it off. I see her ask me to go dancing at a show near our apartment, and I watch myself mindlessly decline.

I see myself stuck in my own head, my own thoughts, my own impulses. And I see the disappointment on her face. I see her see me miss an opportunity to reconnect.

Then I relive all those moments again, and this time I see myself do or say what I should have done or said. And I see the joy on her face. I see it so clearly that it hurts. I see how much time I wasted, how much love I withheld.

I’m crying again, this time even louder, and the smile on my face is so big that my jaw hurt the next day. And I think about how I’m going to look at my wife when I get back home, and how she’ll know I’m seeing her — really seeing her — for the first time all over again.

Then the bells start to ring, and it’s time to close the ceremony.

Night 4: the most honest mirror you’ll ever see

I knew the fourth night would be rough when I saw the ayahuasca brew (each night it’s a slightly different recipe from a different tribe or region or tradition). It was so thick and oily that you couldn’t drink it. Instead, you had to force it down like paste.

The shaman, an Israeli man named Mitra, tells us that it was a 5,000-year-old recipe taken from one of the oldest Amazonian tribes in Colombia, where Mitra was trained. He’s tall, with a shaved head and an assured demeanor. He looks like he could demystify the cosmos and dunk a basketball at the same time.

I see how much time I wasted, how much love I withheld

This final ceremony is longer than the rest. Normally, we gather around 5:30 pm and finish by 1 or 2 am. This time we meet around 7:30 pm and don’t finish until sunrise the next day.

Mitra hands me my first cup, and I fall back to my mattress. I think it’s maybe half an hour before I slip into what I can only describe as the most vivid lucid dream.

I watch my entire life unfold as though it were projected on a movie screen. But it wasn’t my whole life; it was every lie, every counterfeit pose, every missed opportunity to say or do something true, every false act and ingratiating gesture, every pathetic attempt to be seen in a certain light.

The highlight reel is way longer than I imagined.

I see myself as a child groveling for attention from the “popular kids.” I see my 12-year-old self throwing a tantrum in the mall because my dad wouldn’t buy me the Nautica shirt that all those popular kids were wearing. I see myself in high school pretending to be something I was not, and I see all the doubts piling up inside me. I see all the times I self-censored purely out of fear of judgment.

I see myself building my identity based on what I thought would impress other people. On it went — one trivial act after another building up an edifice of falsehood.

I should note how unpleasant it is to see yourself from outside yourself. Most of us aren’t honest with ourselves about who we are and why we do what we do. To see it so clearly for the first time is painful.

The movie rages on into college and adult life, with my self-consciousness expanding. I see myself not looking into the eyes of the person I’m talking to because I’m playing out all the ways they might be judging me. I see myself pretending like my hair wasn’t thinning years ago and all the times I tried to hide it. And every time, the reason for posing was the same: I cared too much about what other people thought.

The experience made me aware of how often we all do this. We do it at home, at work, at the grocery store, at the gym. Most interactions are either transactional or performative. No one wants to make eye contact, and most of the time people freak out if you really try. We’re too self-conscious to listen. We’re thinking about what we’ll say next or how we’re being perceived.

All the posturing destroys any chance for a genuine connection.

The movie ends, and I’m exhausted. The meaning of the previous two nights is clearer now. I needed to feel small and connected before I could appreciate the absurdity of self-involvement. I had to relive those fleeting moments of union to see what made them so transcendent. And I had to go straight through my shame and regret to get beyond it.

When the ceremony finally ended, I sat up in my bed and starting scribbling notes to myself. Before I could finish, Mitra walked up to me and asked how I was doing. I tried to explain what happened, but I couldn’t.

He just kneeled, put his hand on my head, and said, “Happy birthday.”

The day after

I leave the retreat center around 11 am on Saturday to board a shuttle to the airport. With me are three people from my group.

One of them is Alex, a garrulous guy from London. I think he’s in his mid-30s, though I can’t recall. He’s got this dazed look on this face, like he just saw God. His eyes are on fire with excitement, and he’s already planning his next visit.

“When are you coming back?” he asks me. “I don’t know,” I say. He doesn’t quite believe me. Everyone, he assumes, is coming back, either here or to some other place like this. I’m still processing what happened; the thought of the next “trip” hasn’t even occurred to me yet.

In four nights, I feel like I let go of a lifetime’s worth of anger and bitterness

We reach the airport, say our goodbyes, and then part ways. I’m standing in line waiting to go through customs, and I’m surprised at how relaxed I am. The line is long and slow, and everyone around me is annoyed. But I’m moving along, passport in hand, smiling for no particular reason.

Typically, I am one inconvenience removed from rage. Today is different, though. When a loud man rolls his heavy suitcase over my open toe, I shrug it off. Brief encounters with strangers like that are pleasant; the awkwardness is gone.

I’m not in my head, and so things aren’t happening to me; they’re just happening. It’s probably too much to say that my ego was gone — I don’t think it works like that. But seeing myself from a different perspective offered a chance to reassert control over it.

People say that a single ayahuasca trip is like a decade of therapy packed into a night. That’s probably an overstatement, but it’s not altogether wrong. In four nights, I feel like I let go of a lifetime’s worth of anger and bitterness.

At the time of this writing, I’ve been home three weeks. The ecstasy I felt in the days immediately after the trip has worn off as I’ve slipped back into my regular life. A tension has emerged that I still don’t quite understand.

I’m happier and less irritable than I was when I left. The tedium of everyday life feels less oppressive. Part of the reason is that I’m less anxious, less solipsistic. I really do find it easier to see what’s in front of me.

But there’s something gnawing at me. I want to go back to Costa Rica, and not for the reasons you might expect. Forget about the ayahuasca, forget about the tropical vistas, forget about all that. This experience was possible because a group of people came together with a shared intention. That creates an emotional intensity that’s hard to find elsewhere. Every person looks right at you, and you look right back.

But real life isn’t like that. I ride the Metro to work every day, and lately I’ve tried talking to random people. It’s a lot harder than you think.

Do you pay a price for taking this kind of shortcut?

A man sat across from me the other day wearing a Tulane hat (from the university in New Orleans). I used to live in the area, so I looked at him until he looked back, assuming I’d strike up a conversation. But once we locked eyes, I could sense his agitation and we both turned our heads. Nothing weird or hostile — just clumsy.

I’ve spent years making an heroic effort to avoid awkward exchanges, so I get it. But I’m honestly worried that in a few weeks or months, I’ll be that guy again. And in retrospect, this whole journey will feel like a brief holiday of awareness.

I asked my wife the other day if I seem different to her after the trip. She said that she always felt like she had to force me to offer my attention, especially in those quiet, simple moments, and that now I give it freely. I do find it easier to listen since I returned, and it’s amazing what a difference that can make.

I keep thinking about this idea that a night of ayahuasca is like a decade of therapy. Do you pay a price for taking this kind of shortcut? Are the effects short-lived? Maybe.

I know it’s hard to be in the world without being of the world. And the world is a lonely place full of lonely people. You can’t change that, but you can change your orientation to it. In my case, psychedelics made that a little easier.

And what of the self and the ego? I believed these things to be illusions before I took ayahuasca, and now I’m certain that they are. But what does that actually mean in day-to-day life? Not as much as it should. The ego might be a fiction or a construct or whatever you want to call it, but the sensation of it is near impossible to shake.

Even after taking what is arguably the most powerful ego-dissolving medicine on the planet, I still live in a world that reinforces the story of me all the time. There’s no easy way around all that.

I don’t know what life will be like in six months or a year, but I think ayahuasca was the greatest thing that has happened to my marriage. It wasn’t about becoming a better person; it was about appreciating the role my wife — and other relationships — play in my life. I had to escape my head to see that.

Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, I’d say ayahuasca is the best and worst thing I’ve ever done. I spent a week staring down all my bullshit and all my insecurities and it was totally liberating. But it was also terrifying and not something I want — or need — to see again.

A question worth asking: If you looked into the world’s most honest mirror, what would you see?

Editor’s note: this story was originally published on February 19, 2018.

Editor: Eliza Barclay Photos: Kainaz Amaria Photo illustrations: Javier Zarracina Copy editor: Tim Ryan Williams

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What happens when you go to an ayahuasca retreat a first-timer’s guide.

A golden sun appears on a bed of molten-brown, churning thick liquid, like molé. The heat is oppressive, leaden.

A disembodied voice in my head, not mine, says, “Guatemala.” 

No, not Guatemala, I respond. 

In that moment, I have no idea what “Guatemala” means, but I know I don’t want to see it.

At night, at an altar lit by fires, stands a Mayan priestess in a headdress. She has a small knife, and she uses it to cut the heart that she will consume out of an infant in a sacrifice.

In an instant I recognize the priestess. She is me.

Disgust coils in my stomach.

I crawl to the edge of the bed and purge into the bucket. It looks red, like blood.

This is my third night of drinking ayahuasca. 

The night’s visions began with … a puppy, a terrier puppy trying to lick my face.

Aw cute. 

Wait. What the hell?

Is that my dog? Whose dog is that?

Why is the dog?

It’s not your dog. It’s not someone else’s dog.

It’s just a dog, expressing love. For you.

The Mother, or “Pachamama” as they call her, has a sense of humor.

The message — in this case, of the dog — is that you will be held in an unconditionally loving embrace, even as you “meet yourself” as a matter of course while taking the plant medicine.

Welcome to psychedelics.

I came to Costa Rica to do ayahuasca, after a friend suggested plant medicine during the collective freak-out at the beginning of the pandemic. A coach in LA suggested Rythmia as the only medically licensed place in the world to do ayahuasca. Admission requires that you pass a medical intake — if you have a heart condition or a history of psychotic disorders, you won’t be able to drink the medicine, and you have to prepare with a protocol that requires a strict diet — no alcohol or drugs for a period prior to arrival. The stay is medically supervised throughout. This setup is friendly and accessible to Westerners as it combines a therapeutic approach in a luxury resort carved out of the Costa Rican jungle where pumas and pythons roam. It’s all in aid of creating what in psychedelic circles, dating back to the 1960s, is known as the optimal (mind)set and setting necessary for a productive journey, or “trip.”

Psychedelics such as psilocybin (mushrooms) are being studied anew in clinical trials — built on research that was halted in the early 1970s with the war on drugs — for their proven benefit in a therapeutic setting for the treatment of Alzheimer’s , PTSD , anxiety and depression , addiction and eating disorders , among other health conditions. Among the entheogenic plants, ayahuasca will be a more complicated journey for approval for common use in the US given its religious ceremonial component . The hallucinogen in ayahuasca that makes it illegal in the US for common consumption is DMT (Dimethyltryptamine), classified as a Schedule I controlled substance — illegal to make, buy, possess or distribute. So seekers travel to countries such as Brazil, Peru, Ecuador and Costa Rica for multi day ayahuasca retreats, costing an average of $3,500 a week at Rythmia, where participants are monitored for safety and have their psychoactive brew prepared by experienced shamans.

Ayahuasca is made from the stem of a vine (Banisteriopsis caapi) and a shrub (Psychotria viridis) found in the Amazon rainforest, a formula presided over by indigenous tribes to form a plant medicine that is a sacrament taken from a young age in these communities for purposes of healing. That’s why they call ayahuasca “Pachamama,” or Mother Earth, a goddess they worship.

The shamans at Rythmia are trained by a Colombian tribe called the Inga, descendants of the Inca, who are ethnobotanists and masters of  yagé . According to “The Medicine,” a 2019 documentary featuring the Ingas’ spiritual leader Taita Juanito, when conquistadors arrived on South American shores, their priests drank ayahuasca and then forbade its use. The natives then hid the plant medicine they had been using for hundreds of years. 

But now, the tribes feel it’s time to share.

“I loved what it did for me.” Miley Cyrus

When the DMT in the shrub combined with monoamine oxidase inhibitor (MAOI) in the vine is blended into a tea and taken orally, it blocks the brain’s default mode, allowing new connections and pathways to form, achieving an altered state of awareness.

The Hollywood community re-discovered it more than a decade ago. Ayahuasca was introduced to modern culture in 1963 with “The Yage Letters,” in which Beat generation authors William S. Burroughs and Allen Ginsberg chronicled their journeys with the psychedelic tea in the Amazon through the 1950’s. Early adopters like Paul Simon tried ayahuasca after a failed project, releasing the song “Spirit Voices” about his experience in 1990, and Sting credited it in his 2005 autobiography as the closest thing to a religious experience he’d ever had. But more recently, many were quietly turning to the plant medicine not only for healing trauma but for creativity. Reports from ceremonies conducted privately in living rooms say the yield has included not only suppressed emotions and memories, but things like the “Game of Thrones” opening credit sequence. 

Since late 2020, celebrities as diverse as Chris Rock and Miley Cyrus have gone public about their use, with Cyrus telling Rolling Stone that, in 2013, the snakes took her to Mama Aya. “I loved what it did for me,” she said.

Most recently, Will Smith detailed eight pages in his 2021 memoir “Will” about taking the tea in more than 14 trips on a retreat in Peru after having marital problems. 

 “This was my first taste of freedom,” he wrote. “In my fifty plus years on this planet, this was the unparalleled greatest feeling I’ve ever had.” But Smith’s revelations come with a disclaimer: “I do not condone, nor do I suggest the use of ayahuasca or any substance without professional medical prescription and supervision.” He shared that of his 14 trips, Mother Ayahuasca showed up in eight, and in three of the six where she did not “were among the most hellish psychological experiences I’ve ever endured.”

Megan Fox told Jimmy Kimmel that on her second night of her ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica she went to “hell for eternity.” People interpreted that as meaning she had a bad experience. What she explained was that ayahuasca “surpasses anything like talk therapy” and makes you surrender to “your psychological prison that you hold yourself in, your own version of hell.”

In other words, there is value in the unpleasant trip. She said she had “a real ego death.” Ayahuasca is said to be the closest thing to a near-death experience. Having to fight to survive “death” is a common experience in psychedelics and one that confronts you with fears and discomfort and forces you to push through. The reward is the calm of wisdom and gratitude on the other side.

My first “pinta,” as they call visions, after the very first cup I took, was of vines that writhed and coiled in and around one another like snakes. They were technicolor green, cartoon-like and they looped and writhed seemingly to the beat of the songs being played in the  maloca , the ceremonial space where the ayahuasca ceremonies are performed.

The retreat involves drinking the tea four nights in a row. By the seventh day, some sort of breakthrough will have occurred. Ayahuasca is like 10 years of therapy in a few hours, some say. The active ingredient breaks down your defenses to let the suppressed, repressed emotions and memories come up. It’s been proven to improve neuroplasticity of the brain, forming new pathways. The experiential nature of the “trips” makes realizations stick. People tend to make significant life choices in the days, weeks and months afterwards. Many report they were positive.

My first two days were spent easing in with orientation and preparing for the first night of drinking. Yoga in the morning, and the first of several breath work classes, a technique that can achieve the same altered state as ayahuasca. Guest speaker Ben Decker taught a class on meditation and led us through an eye-gazing exercise. The facilitators each spoke about their own experiences with ayahuasca and how they came to be involved in the retreat, and offered up lessons in the importance of preparing the mindset and intention setting before the ceremony. We received an introduction to plant medicine and what to expect, and the exact location and number of the bathrooms.

During each of the four nights of the ceremony, the group of 60 lined up outside the  maloca,  and at 5:30 pm, they were let in and free to take a spot on one of the beds lined up around the room. A bucket and toilet paper sat menacingly at the base of each one.

I took a seat between a magazine writer and a hedge fund manager.

The shaman presiding over that night’s events called the group to gather and gave a freestyle pep talk to prepare for the ceremony.

They then sat and watched as the shamans and assistants prepared the ayahuasca and performed the ritual of blessing the medicine. The shamans, facilitators and musicians all drank the medicine, too.

The drinking began after sundown. The shaman called for people to come and receive the first cup. People lined up and brought their ceramic shot glass to be filled with the sludgy brown brew. They stated their intention, drank in front of the shaman and then returned to their bed and sat upright for 30 minutes, waiting for the medicine to make them “drunk.”

And so it began.

For some, it begins earlier than others. I met someone who, as soon as they put back their first cup of medicine, threw it back up on the shaman.

The shaman’s response? “Did you get any of that?” 

The first-time drinker went on to do 68 more ceremonies over five years — at 75, you qualify to become a shaman — so that kind of mortifying reaction turns out not to be a deterrent.

Ayahuasca facilitators have seen it all. For those preoccupied with losing bodily functions in front of strangers, fact: There will be purging. We are encouraged to bring our bucket with us when we leave our bed. 

But purging looks like a lot of things: crying, peeing, vomiting, evacuating, shuddering and yawning. We will be conscious of all these reactions approaching and be able to act on them. Best piece of advice all week from Rythmia founder Gerry Powell: Do not trust a fart. Also, you’ll learn to be so glad when you do purge. Because the prevailing wisdom, as a facilitator who attended to me explained, is you’re getting rid of stuff that doesn’t serve you and making room for what saves you.

The main mantra is “Don’t think, drink.” The only real way you can screw up your experience is by not drinking. One of my neighbors spent the better part of one night arguing during his trip with the ayahuasca lady in his head about whether to drink a second cup. It was not a good experience.

Over the course of the evening, you’ll experience a tremendous amount. Or possibly just one significant thing. Or very little. The ceremony is accompanied by a soundtrack of recorded and live music that has an uncanny ability to match up with the trip. Some people have what’s called a “nada,” where they fall asleep and wake up when it’s over. They just have their realizations at a later date. 

The main piece of advice that got me through was: If it’s coming, it’s going. That means that if fear comes up, it’s being released. 

 “This was my first taste of freedom. In my 50-plus years on this planet, this was the unparalleled greatest feeling I’ve ever had.” Will Smith

The ceremony ends sometime after midnight, when the lights come up. The group then gathers again for volunteers to share their experiences. That’s a whole other journey of insight that isn’t even yours but makes a huge impression. Some of it, you may have seen, some you heard. I kept my eyes tightly closed per the protocol of minding your own business in the ceremonies, and you should drink enough medicine that you’re deeply in your own trip.

Someone could be wailing in a life-changing epiphany, and you don’t want to interrupt it by touching them and mewling, “Are you OK?” Of course they’re not OK. You’ll find out later. In the postmortem, we heard hair-raising tales from a professor about her journey boarding a spaceship that turned into a slave ship so eloquent on healing generational trauma among nations that we all wanted to ask if they were available later on Audible. 

One young man had a rather dramatic group effort by the shamans and witnessing guests and overnight shed a chronic cough that was the symptom of the cancer, as well as his fear of death.

“I know I’m going to live,” he said on the morning of the seventh day.

People’s experiences tend to be profound. Over the course of the week, you find out that they are there for a wide variety of reasons: racial trauma, sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts, sleeping pills no longer working, porn addiction, anxiety, stage 4 cancer. 

After the shaman’s post-ceremony counsel, you head to bed and try to sleep to get ready for the next night. Or you sit and talk more to your new friends about what went on. Because nothing is as bonding as a night spent barfing up a lung next to someone — let alone four nights.

My fourth night was presided over by a visiting shaman trained by the Colombian tribe who brought their proprietary brew. In his prep class, he talked about the  yagé  you’re taking as “a drop of pure consciousness.”

I had developed a cold by the third night and opted not to drink the medicine but was encouraged by the medical staff to attend the ceremony “and help other people.” 

I lined up when everyone went up to get their first cup. The shaman said, “Who told you that you couldn’t drink?” 

“No one, I just have a cold, and I’m worried I won’t be able to breathe.” 

“The medicine will clear that right up,” he said, adding that I could come up if I heard the call for the second cup.

I went back to my bed and promptly fell asleep. 

When I woke up, they were laying out pillows for the healing circles. 

A couple got married in a ceremony performed by the shaman in the early hours of the morning. After that, I was brought up for a private healing by the shaman, because I had missed joining the circle. “You didn’t come up for a second cup.” 

I said I fell asleep, and remembered that I had eaten dinner at 7 pm. You’re not supposed to drink on a full stomach, I said. He shrugged, which is Shaman for “Don’t be a pussy.”

“Let’s get to the healing. Close your eyes. Be good.” The author’s shaman

“What was your intention?” he asked, brown eyes boring right through me. Perhaps catching a glimpse of the Mayan priestess in me. I suddenly felt like a huge liar: It had been to help others, hadn’t it? He asked how the week had been for me and where I was from, and I answered nervously feeling like I was lying. 

“Let’s get to the healing. Close your eyes.”

He performed a cleansing ceremony with chants and noises and liquids sprayed and feathers with a noted physical emphasis on my heart area. Tears rolled down my cheeks.

When he was done, he looked at me, and I think he said, “Be good.”

For the next 24 hours, I went on to feel inexplicably uncomfortable and guilty, unhappy in my own skin. I watched others celebrate, swimming and dancing by the pool after dinner, giddy with joy.

The next morning I went to yoga. There in the  maloca  where the ceremony had been the day before, I sobbed through the poses. Tears not blood. A piece had fallen into place. It was forgiveness.

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The Dark Side of Ayahuasca: Understanding Bad Trips and Their Effects

You’ve probably watched a few Netflix documentaries on Ayahuasca (if not, we have curated a full Top Ayahuasca Documentary Films for you here). Maybe you’ve heard about the experiences of a celebrity like Lindsay Lohan with this mind-expanding plant medicine or you’ve read the bestseller How to Change Your Mind by Michael Pollan. Or perhaps your previous experience with other psychedelic plants has piqued your interest in Ayahuasca. You’re not alone. From Los Angeles to New York, from San Francisco to New Zealand, eager guests are jetting off to countries like Costa Rica or to Peru’s Sacred valley for the opportunity to enter the ceremony room and drink the powerful brew.

If this sounds like you, you might have realized that an encounter experience with Mother Aya is not to be taken lightly. And we appreciate your due diligence on the potential adverse effects. Ayahuasca experiences can vastly range depending on not only the individual, but the circumstances under which it is consumed [1]. This is, after all, a natural psychedelic drug that induces a powerful altered state of consciousness. 

Before we get into the personal ayahuasca experience stories of two of our team members here at Behold Retreats, we want to share some important information (especially if you’re at the start of your research journey) about this medicinal plant, originating from the Indigenous communities of the amazonian South America.

What is Ayahuasca?  

Ayahuasca is a South American plant medicine consisting of a concentrated liquid which is made by brewing together the Banisteriopsis Caapi vine (b caapi, also referred to as the ayahuasca vine or sacred vine) and the leaves of the Psychotria Viridis shrub (p viridis or the Chacruna plant) [2]. These leaves contain the naturally occurring psychedelic substance DMT which is responsible for the well-known visionary effects that can occur in an ayahuasca session [3]. 

Ceremonial Ayahuasca has long been used both socially and in a ritualistic setting as a spiritual medicine for deep healing and spiritual awakening amongst the Indigenous people of Latin America, especially in the region of the Amazon Basin [4]. 

Ayahuasca brews can vary depending on the shaman or medicine person serving the medicine, therefore, we highly recommend inquiring about the exact ingredients of the tea used in the Ayahuasca ceremonies before consuming it to avoid any possible dangerous side effects of Ayahuasca or contraindications [5]. 

What are the Benefits of Ayahuasca? 

Ayahuasca, amongst other natural psychedelic drugs such as psilocybin mushrooms (magic mushrooms), has been making major headway in the mental health field [6]. Psychedelic research from highly regarded institutions such as Harvard University show their enormous potential for treating mental illness, drug abuse and addiction [7]. Many studies show the positive effects of psychedelic treatments for recurrent depression, anxiety, and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) [8]. 

Ayahuasca users have reported an increase in quality of life, improvement of depressive symptoms, and enhanced spiritual connection [9]. They are less likely to continue with substance abuse and more likely to adopt healthy lifestyles, leading researchers to look into ayahuasca as a possible addiction treatment [10]. Those who have undergone an ayahuasca treatment often are able to address childhood trauma or other past traumatic events, so that the root cause of their depression, anxiety, or other issue can be healed. 

If you are interested in learning more about ayahuasca healing, we recommend that you read some of the work of Dennis Mckenna and Terence Mckenna, Roland Griffiths, Michael Pollan , Paul Stamets, and Robin Carhart-Harris.  There are also many publications on Google Scholar citing the use of psychoactive drugs for the treatment of anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns.

What are the Bad and Long-Term Effects of Ayahuasca use?   ‍ ‍ ‍

Generally, ayahuasca is safe - if you are being properly medically screened and you are working with a guide who is well experienced and educated. Danger can arise if a person is not screened as a suitable candidate for the medicine work. There are also many people claiming to be “shamans” who are taking advantage of the increase of ayahuasca use in the mainstream. Again, this can pose a very serious risk, from sexual assault, to lack of safety and ethical behavior, to the addition of harmful ingredients, and more [11]. 

There are also high risks for those with a background of psychosis themselves or in their family history, that can lead to persistent psychotic symptoms [12]. Certain medications, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor antidepressants (SSRIs), are extremely dangerous to be used in combination with Ayahuasca and can lead to serotonin syndrome, for example [13]. 

Additionally, those who are not supported in the preparation and integration of an ayahuasca trip, especially those with mental health concerns, run the risk of not only having a bad experience, but of suffering in the aftermath too

Check out our article here for more in-depth information on this topic:  “Is an Ayahuasca Retreat Safe?”  

For information on how to choose a retreat center and what to look out for to stay safe, check out our comprehensive GUIDE . 

Where Can I Consume Ayahuasca? 

With international ayahuasca consumption and ayahuasca ceremonies on the rise, it is no surprise that a new term for this phenomenon, “ayahuasca tourism” has been coined. People from around the world are embarking on spiritual pilgrimages for their ayahuasca soul quest. 

Given that Ayahuasca originates from South America, you will be able to find legal and traditional ayahuasca retreat centers in the Amazon Rainforest, mainly Peru, Ecuador and Brazil, as well as in Central America in both Costa Rica and Mexico. Some people combine a trip to the sacred Machu Picchu in Peru with their ayahuasca ritual or ayahuasca ceremonies.

If you are unable to travel to one of these destinations for your personal journey, you will also be able to find a retreat center in Portugal, where Ayahuasca is decriminalized.  Unfortunately, Ayahuasca is illegal in the United Kingdom, USA, Canada, and pretty much the rest of the world - so searching for “ayahuasca experience near me” might not give you the results you were hoping for.

In North America, you can still attend legal ayahuasca ceremonies at a Native American Church or a similar ayahuasca church such as Santo Daime, who have been granted an exemption to use ayahuasca as part of their religious ceremony. A few popular North American retreat centers are listed here in our blog post, but proceed with caution when looking for such a retreat center, as many illegally. 

Now, for the part you came here for. The up close and personal experience stories with Mama Aya. 

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The Ayahuasca Experience: The Jaw-Dropping Stories You Don't Hear About

Sara’s story in her words: .

We all have our blindspots. We all tend to have a favorable bias towards ourselves. 

So here I am, a year ago, day in and out, reading about Ayahuasca and other medicinal plants such as san pedro and the infamous Magic Mushroom , speaking to Ayahuasca retreat participants about how important it is to prepare, to have no expectations, and to have full support after the plant medicine journey. And I did, and still do, sincerely believe all of these things to be true.

Everyone should follow these suggestions. Well, except me. 

I am somehow immune in my mind. No... how could it be? I’ve done my mental and emotional work! I have had an outer body psychedelic experience of love and bliss with a powerful hallucinogenic drug. I spoke with a deity and asked her as many questions about the universe as I could, I experienced past lives… so my Aya experience will be similar, of course. 

Well...What a humbling moment in my life to meet mother Ayahuasca . 

Don’t get me wrong, I did prepare in many ways and I was supported with my integration. But I neglected a very important detail. 

My intention for the ayahuasca ceremony was to understand how energy healing works (I began practicing energy work recently at the time and was curious to know more). 

So in my mind, I was expecting visuals of what energy looks like in the body , how I can see it move , where it’s blocked , and how I can work with it . 

It is always recommended to set an intention, but it is also recommended to then let go and release all expectations. She will show you what you need to see, and it might not make sense at first, but it is not something to analyze, just to be grateful for, to feel, and to integrate. 

And what did I do? I set expectations. Strict ones.

I was also very much aware that Ayahuasca is known to bring back traumatic events to relive in some way, shape, or form. To have a different perspective on it, to release it, to feel it. Whatever the individual needs.

I had a trauma I was well aware of, but naive me went in thinking that I had already dealt with and processed this wound. It was already healed. :)

I also knew that surrender is a big theme with this type of journey, and many people struggle to surrender. The ego keeps them fighting. 

Again, I, Sara, already so aware of my ego and thoughts, so experienced with meditation, could not possibly have any issues with surrendering the ego. 

The ego is extraordinarily sneaky and a master manipulator. 

I spent 2 weeks preparing, cleaning up my diet, meditating with my intention, practicing emotional release techniques, and repeating affirmations, the whole bit. 

The day of ceremony, I was nervous - but excited.  I was meeting three other women for the ceremony, two of whom I just became recent friends with. We arrived at the ceremonial space around 11AM. 

Our healer, Tanya, who works for Behold Retreats is a true medicine woman, shamanic, but relatable in a western sense having spent much of her life in Amsterdam working as a clinical psychotherapist. I bonded with her the moment I met her, I loved her humor, her rawness, and her ability to be both spiritual and practical. She was inspiring to me. When the opportunity came to experience an Ayahuasca ceremony with her and these women, in a safe, empowering container, I was over the moon ecstatic. 

We began with a check in;  How will the next 24 hours look? What are our intentions? How do we feel? She opened the ceremonial space shortly after, we meditated together, sent intentional prayers asking for the support of the elements, the spirits, and our ancestors. 

We then began cleansing with rapeh . Well my goodness .. an unexpected blow to the brain with tobacco powder through a pipe. A sensation I have never felt in my life before. It felt like my brain was burning. After the pain subsided, which was truthfully not very long, I was in complete surrender, giggly, relaxed, and floating. 

We then received a paste, made of ayahuasca and bobinsana (a heart-opening master plant). To my surprise it actually wasn't so bad taste-wise, just a bit sticky on the teeth. We then had a small cup of Ayahuasca tea. We laid down on our mats, threw on our eye masks, and enjoyed the music that Tanya began to play.

She began with drums, and throughout the 9 hour, yes NINE HOUR, journey, she played a variety of instruments, piano, rattles, drums, and sang (very beautifully I might add). The music was an integral part of the journey, each sound and vibration taking me into different worlds, ideas, dimensions, feelings. The music ignited something in the medicine, it was magical to look up and see her singing at the piano, a beautiful angel to guide us on this deep journey. 

Stepping it back a little again, after the first Ayahuasca tea I didn’t feel so much for an hour. I was given a second cup and some help to relax into it. I could feel the medicine start to pull me in. I wanted to go with her. Something was stopping me. I breathed, I meditated, but the tension became more powerful. It was clear a fight was occurring and I didn’t have any say. 

I became so frustrated. Why was I not going into the journey?  What was this in between place that I was in? Was I going to be stuck here for the next 5 hours?? Does Ayahuasca even work? Have I completely gone down the wrong path? Was I wrong? Am I losing my mind? Will I be stuck in this mindset forever?!

DEEP self-doubt began to surface here. Fear. Anxiety. I felt these emotions so deeply, in the very core of my being. I started to panic. How long has this been? Hours now? I sat up and begged our guide for help. She told me that this was my work, my process, and I had to go through it. 

I sat on my knees, wanting to pull my hair out. Crying and crying. I started to feel sick. Waves of nausea. Sticky, heavy, energy started flowing out of me, from my stomach to my throat and I began to gag. It felt like throwing up without actually throwing up. Energetic puke. Balls of negative energy just came out of me non-stop for what felt like hours. 

I laid back down as the effects effects of Ayahuasca started to soften. I was covered in tears. And then, she took me. And I began to (maybe) understand why my ego fought for so long. It was trying to protect me from what I was about to experience. I also realized how stuck in my own head I have been, this need to analyze and control reality was very apparent.

It felt as if I went hyper speed through my mother's and father’s lives, from childhood to adulthood, experiencing their fears, their suffering, their triumphs, their learnings. I instantly had immense compassion for them. The journey continued moving into my father’s family. 

My uncle who had recently passed appeared to me with a bright light surrounding him, smiling. It was beautiful. But then the pain came. Immense emotional pain. It was his, I could feel it. There was some spiritual connection to my dad and to his childhood. Something traumatic in nature that I couldn’t understand, just felt. There was something he wanted to tell my dad but he couldn’t and never did. It wasn’t so clear. It might have been pain in the years leading up to his death, as he struggled with opioid addiction. 

I then felt a very dark, heavy, pain that I knew was not mine, and yet was inside me, or coming through me to be released. Ancestral pain.There is no way for me to properly understand this, but it felt as if all the traumas from the generation before me in my dad’s family line were coming through my body. I cried.. No, I sobbed hysterically, and continued to vomit air. 

I was angry. Why was this happening? WHAT was happening and why was I going through this? There can’t possibly be a need for this? This is not the type of mystical transformational experience I was expecting. (Key word: expecting )

I came out of that experience, listening to the voice of Tanya, and the sound of a light-hearted reggae song come on through the speakers. I looked up from my puke bucket; one of my fellow journeyers had just spent a couple hours throwing up real puke in the bathroom, another was in silence, one in tears. And Tanya continues to say  “wherever you are right now, take a moment to join me right now for a little dance.” 

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Cry - laughing. But laughing, at the absurdity and intensity of this moment. A bit relieved. Together. 

I then floated into what I like to describe as a matrix of consciousness, or some sort of void that had both everything and nothing at the same time. FINALLY a break. And a cool one at that. It was like a vast black space filled with complex geometric patterns, and I was floating there in the emptiness - well, not as myself, I was no longer there, but as this part of the matrix. It felt a bit empty, but very calm. Peaceful. 

My thoughts started to come back in a looping pattern. I was trying to figure something out, and after swirling around in the space of nothingness, I came right back to the start of my initial thought. Over and over again. Which became so amusing I couldn’t help but laugh. Was this life? Do we just keep trying to figure things out to be reminded there’s no figuring anything out? 

I waved out of this space and came back into my body. I sat up, relieved that the journey was over. How long had it been? 7 hours? I sat there disoriented, noticing that some of the other women had moved around, and were coming back to this realm as well. 

But then, I felt a pull. A strong wave was pulling me back. AGAIN?? Come on. 

This time I was confronted with that trauma I mentioned earlier. When I was 18, I was drugged and raped. At the time of course, I had no idea what this really meant, how to process it, or what to do really. So when the bruises faded and the blood was gone, I pushed it away, like it never happened. If I didn’t feel it, how could it hurt me? I was stronger than that, happier than that. I love my life and I’m so grateful for it. So why would I dwell on this? 

Well here I was, 10 years later, seeing my 18 year old self -  hurt, wounded, crying. I felt her pain. I felt it so deeply I screamed out in desperation. Tanya came to me, rested her hand on my face, and she in that moment became my mother. My mother’s touch, her energy, her presence was there with me, holding me, keeping me safe. And I felt the power of my grandmother, and her mother, and support of my female ancestors helping me heal. I hugged my 18 year old self, who was still a child in many ways, and I held her tight and let her cry. 

I began to see some visions of a black panther, strong, independent and vibrant. She was showing me the way, giving me strength. I heard angelic spirit voices. 

I came back to reality. I felt like someone had thrown me into a live hurricane and was being found by rescuers under the rubble.  

How to process what just happened? Could I even speak? 

There was suddenly some light food out on a table. I slowly put a cracker in my mouth. Ahhhh earth. It felt good. Grounding. 

We all met in a circle. And our shaman takes out her talking “dick” stick, a coral rock she found in Bali, that looked exactly like a penis. When it got to my turn to share. I sat there with the stick in my hand, and couldn’t stop laughing. Nothing coherent was coming out of my mouth whatsoever. I managed to get the words “If I can just say one thing..,” and then gave up. 

Later, Tanya told me that I was the warrior of the group. Not that that made me feel any better about what happened, but it’s always nice to be seen isn’t it? 

In the days that followed I was a complete wreck if I'm being perfectly honest. I was crying all the time, I even managed to call my ex boyfriend in tears because he was one of the only people who knew about the abuse. I didn’t even tell him I had taken Ayahuasca, I just told him that I relived the trauma. He was there for me, and told me it was probably about time that I felt it. I am eternally grateful for him that night. 

I continued working with Tanya to help integrate the experience. Nature, art, rituals, space, boundaries and softness. I also did vocal liberation and family constellation therapy with the ancestral trauma in mind. 

After my transformational experience, I still didn't understand why this needed to happen. I was frustrated and angry. 

It wasn’t until I slowly let go of what I wanted out of the experience and allowed whatever was present to be seen that I began to heal. I started to feel and understand that the emotions were stored in my body, manifesting as physical ailments, behaviors, limiting beliefs.  For example, unconscious feelings of being unsafe, detachment from emotions and relationships, feeling unworthy, creative blocks, are all linked to this trauma - and other experiences of course. I realized I had been suppressing and repressing most of my difficult emotions. 

A year later, I've become softer to my emotions. I allow them to come instead of repressing them, and I am gentle with myself. I still feel the trauma, but I let go more and more every time it resurfaces. I do not suppress, I allow and I release. I cry a bit if I need to and I give my inner child a big hug. I feel. 

Tanya mentioned to me the other day that she’s seen a big shift in me this last year. That I hold a softer space.  I am in touch with my feminine. And I feel it too. I feel lighter, less restless, and more safe. There is less fear of not being enough or doing enough, and a new found inner strength.  I feel that my root chakra and sacral chakras have released blocked energy. I feel more in a creative divine feminine flow and my relationships are thriving.

So back to energy healing. My intention. I really did get just what I needed, and wanted. Emotions and trauma are stored energetically in the body. And to heal, is to allow those emotions and traumas to be processed and released from the body instead of wasting energy trying to keep them down. This is energetic healing.  ‍

Drew’s Story in his own words: 

My first experience with Ayahuasca was truly one of the most profound and transformative experiences of my life. 

I had heard about Ayahuasca sporadically in my late teens. By my early twenties, I had sat with hallucinogenic drugs such as psilocybin mushrooms, LSD, and pure DMT (the active ingredient in Ayahuasca). All of these experiences had helped me to gain a deeper sense of self-awareness, come to terms with some of the traumatic events that I had gone through in my adolescence, primarily the death of my Father, and had given me and understanding that my potential was far greater than I could perceive given my lifestyle at the time. I was drinking consistently, neglecting my personal health and wellbeing, and generally selling myself short in terms of where I was investing the majority of my time and energy. 

Two weeks before my 21st birthday, I was in a bad snowboarding accident. I fractured my neck, and suffered a severe concussion, the result of which was an inability to work or practically interact with reality in a functional way for about 45 days. During this time, I dropped out of school, lost my job, and laid alone in my room with the shades drawn and fell into a miserable and rather existential depression.

What was I doing with my life? What was the point of existence if it led to this degree of suffering and misery? How would I ever “figure it out” and make something of myself? 

This is where my mind was when I ran across an ad on my Facebook feed for an Ayahuasca experience in Costa Rica.

Having had previous experiences with psychedelics, and knowing that I needed a massive shift in terms of my mindset and lifestyle, I decided to take a leap of faith and a month later, found myself arriving in Costa Rica. I was full of apprehension and excitement. I had never traveled out of the country before. I had never invested in my own development and healing. I had never gone on a pilgrimage, and this is exactly what I was doing. 

The medicine retreat experience I encountered was quite lovely. We spent a few days doing yoga, hanging out on the beach, and preparing for the Ayahuasca experience itself. I truly had no idea what to expect, and what I experienced was far beyond anything I could have imagined. 

The night of our first ayahuasca ceremony, the group gathered in the ceremonial temple space and sat in a circle to receive the medicine. One-by-one, we all made our way to the altar to receive the brew from our shamanic guide. After I drank the medicine, I returned to my space and began to contemplate what I was doing sitting on the ground in the jungle with a group of strangers drinking psychedelic tea. Admittedly, many doubts began to make their way into my head about if I was actually crazy for embarking on such personal journey. 

That first night, I spent the majority of my time in physical discomfort. I felt very nauseous, and had the sense that the room was spinning, and that I was falling into an endless pit of darkness. When I closed my eyes, the vertigo would get to the point where I felt like vomiting, at which point I would get up and go walk around the area outside of the temple hoping to find some relief.

After about an hour and a half, I explained what I was feeling to the shaman, who encouraged me to drink more medicine. I drank a second cup, and all the symptoms I was experiencing before intensified. At this point, I really began to doubt myself. It was obvious to me that practically speaking, I had not been showing up in my life in a way I respected or appreciated. I found myself feeling very angry with myself for the lack of attention I had been paying to the trajectory of my life, and resigned to a sense of hopelessness that allowed me to at least find peace with my physical discomfort. “At least this will be over soon, and I can get back to trying to figure things out when I’m home” was the general texture of the thoughts I was having at that point.

Eventually, the physical discomfort got to a point that if I laid down, I would feel as if the entire world was spinning uncontrollably, and this led me to needing to stand out by the fire. The shaman came out to ask me how I felt and I expressed that I was not feeling great. She asked me if I had purged yet, to which I replied in the negative. She told me to drink one more cup of medicine to get myself to purge, which I was highly resistant to, but I figured, what the hell, I’m already here and feeling miserable, it can’t get any worse, right?

The third cup of medicine worked like a charm. No sooner after I swallowed the final dose, it came right back up. I had to physically stop myself from puking all over the sacred altar and re-swallow what my body was trying to reject, until I was able to make my way out of the space and projectile vomit all over a tree. As soon as I had cleared the tea from my stomach, I began to feel a sense of normality take back over. I felt grounded. Everything stopped spinning. It was a bit anticlimactic, and left me feeling rather depressed and down. I spent some time sitting by the fire contemplating the 3-4 hour period that had just passed. At this point, I chalked the experience up to a doozie, and began to contemplate how I was going to move forward in my life.

During this contemplation, our shaman once again came over to ask me how I was feeling. I told her I felt pretty normal, and she asked me if I was willing to try something called rapé. I had never heard of rapé, and she explained to me that it was a ceremonial form of tobacco that would help me open my third eye and truly experience the magic I was looking for. I was all for it. Then she pulled out a giant curved horn and told me to place one end of it in my nose. This was an odd request, but I complied. 

She proceeded to blow an ashy powder so far into my nose I was sure it was going to come out of my ears. The physical sensation was quite overwhelming. It felt like my face was melting off, and the tears and snot that flowed out of me seemed only to confirm this feeling. After she blew the tobacco into my one nostril, she told me she needed to do the other one as well. I begrudgingly consented, and when she administered the second dose, everything began to change.

I began to perceive a vision of a giant golden dragon making its way towards me. As I closed my eyes, the dragon became as real as anything I had ever seen, and I realized that the transformational experience I had been searching for may have found me after all. I made the conscious decision to allow whatever was happening to happen, and over the course of the next many minutes, I felt my consensus reality slip away and be replaced with this shimmering golden dragon. I felt the urge to try and ride this magnificent creature, but realized that by doing so I would need to leave my body behind. Instantly, I got up out of my body and proceeded to climb atop the back of this giant golden dragon. It spread its wings, and together we flew away. 

At this point in the experience, I completely lost touch with any sense of my physical body. The dragon and I flew through one of the most beautiful valleys I had ever seen. We rose up through a spectacular mountain range, and ultimately made our way so high in the sky that the blue turned to black, and the Earth fell away beneath us. Once we had made our way into this black abyss, the dragon left me, suspended in darkness. alone. 

At this moment, I fell into a memory from my childhood. I was standing with my Father, and he was embracing me. I felt the texture of the memory as if it was actually happening at that moment. From here, I remember feeling my Father emerge into the memory with me, and together we were able to share a moment of reconnection that truly blasted my heart wide open. He told me that he was proud of me and the man I was becoming. He explained how painful it had been for him to leave the realm of the living knowing that his children were unprepared. He asked for my forgiveness, and together, we spent what felt like years simply embracing one another in love. 

The next thing I remember, I was waking up, tucked cozily into my space within the temple. There was soft music playing, it was dark, and I felt a supreme sense of peace that I had previously never encountered. The magic of Ayahuasca was apparent to me at this moment, and I was truly baffled when trying to understand what I had just been through. As soon as I came to, the shaman declared the end of the ceremony. That was night one.

Night two was a very different experience. As soon as I drank the medicine, I felt the effects of ayahuasca creep up and then take over. I perceived a bright green light in the center of the space, and I allowed myself to be pulled into this light. Once the light had overcome me, I found myself face-to-face with the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. 

She very politely introduced herself to me as Ayahuasca, the spirit of Mother Earth, grandmother to all of Life, and asked me if I had any questions to ask her. Boy, did I. We spent the better part of an hour going back and forth about the meaning of life, the purpose of existence, the nature of the human condition, and my own personal journey. I asked every question I had ever had, and she answered all of them thoroughly. 

Eventually, and embarrassingly, I actually ran out of questions to ask (not the best look when given the opportunity to have all your existential questions answered by what I could only describe as a deity). At this point, I went up to one of the shamans and asked him how I should proceed given that I had gotten all of my questions answered. He laughed, and told me that if I wanted to have more powerful visions, that I should drink more medicine. 

At this point, I wasn’t sure what to do. I had already received more than I could have possibly asked for, and in that, the concept of “more” didn’t fully register. Still, I heeded his advice, and proceeded to ask for another dose. Once I drank the medicine, I went back to my space and very slowly felt myself die. 

One breath at a time, my heart rate slowed, my breathing calmed, and then all of a sudden, I died. There was no fear associated with this death. Truthfully, there was no sensation associated with it at all other than a lightness and a sense of peace. I felt myself rise out of my body, this time with no control over the process, and from there I was pulled into the green orb of energy that I had originally perceived in the middle of the space. As soon as I merged with it, I found myself in Heaven, literally. I was encompassed by a thick and warm golden light, I felt as thought I was one with existence. At that moment, I understood exactly what people meant when they referred to “God”. 

As soon as this realization became clear, I was sucked out of this heavenly realm like a vacuum, and I was spit out into a Void of infinite proportions. Within this void, there was nothing. It was pure and utter emptiness, and it was me. I was nothing. What had previously existed as a sense of self, was now replaced by a sense of infinite blackness, and this is where I remained, infinitely. 

At some point, the awareness that this emptiness had not always been empty became present. I remembered the realm of golden light that I had come from, and as I did, a small pinprick of that light emerged at the core of this infinite blackness. I raced towards this infinitesimal speck of light, and as I did, it grew. The closer I got, the bigger the light grew, until eventually, I felt it pushing against the edge of the infinite darkness, enveloping what had moments ago been nothingness with pure Love. 

Once the light reached the limits of its expansion, the black hole of nothingness disintegrated, and then instantly re-emerged at the center of the light, and swallowed it whole in a single instant. As soon as nothingness had once again taken over the light, a small speck reappeared near the core of the void, and instantly filled it to totality. I fell back, feeling the space of a trillion miles open up between myself and this process of light enveloping darkness, just for the darkness to be enveloped by light, and watched with wonder as I perceived the totality of reality creating and destroying itself, over and over again, infinitely. 

At some point, I woke up back inside the ceremonial temple grinning ear to ear, fully at peace. I knew that I was forever changed, and simply allowed myself to bask in the sense of Love and wonder that had been left with. I understood myself in relation to all things on a level I knew I could never articulate or describe, and I have been grateful to Grandmother Ayahuasca ever since for the gifts she gave me in our first meeting. I could process this one experience for lifetimes and never get to the bottom of it. 

Feeling Called to Understand the Effects of Ayahuasca Use for Yourself?

We would be honored to assist you in choosing the best retreat experience that's right for you. Behold Retreats facilitates expertly held retreats with Ayahuasca, Psilocybin (Magic Mushrooms), and 5-MeO-DMT (Bufo Alvarius) in Costa Rica, Portugal, Mexico, and Peru (coming soon!)

Reach out to us to set up a complimentary discovery call below. Aside from a free call, we can also offer you comprehensive psychedelic preparation and integration from our team of qualified therapists, coaches, and psychologists.

With gratitude.

References:

[1] Kjellgren, A., Eriksson, A., & Norlander, T. (2009). Experiences of encounters with ayahuasca—“the vine of the soul”. Journal of psychoactive drugs, 41(4), 309-315.

[2] Domínguez-Clavé, E., Soler, J., Elices, M., Pascual, J. C., Álvarez, E., de la Fuente Revenga, M., ... & Riba, J. (2016). Ayahuasca: Pharmacology, neuroscience and therapeutic potential. Brain research bulletin, 126, 89-101.

[3] Brito-da-Costa, A. M., Dias-da-Silva, D., Gomes, N. G., Dinis-Oliveira, R. J., & Madureira-Carvalho, Á. (2020). Toxicokinetics and toxicodynamics of ayahuasca alkaloids N, N-dimethyltryptamine (DMT), harmine, harmaline and tetrahydroharmine: clinical and forensic impact. Pharmaceuticals, 13(11), 334.

[4] Luna, L. E. (2011). Indigenous and mestizo use of ayahuasca: an overview. The ethnopharmacology of ayahuasca, 2, 01-21.

[5] Guimarães dos Santos, R. (2013). Safety and side effects of ayahuasca in humans—an overview focusing on developmental toxicology. Journal of psychoactive drugs, 45(1), 68-78.

[6] Labate, B. C., & Cavnar, C. (Eds.). (2014). The therapeutic use of ayahuasca.

[7] https://www.massgeneral.org/psychiatry/treatments-and-services/center-for-the-neuroscience-of-psychedelics

[8] Carhart-Harris, R. L., & Goodwin, G. M. (2017). The therapeutic potential of psychedelic drugs: past, present, and future. Neuropsychopharmacology, 42(11), 2105-2113.

[9] Hamill, J., Hallak, J., Dursun, S. M., & Baker, G. (2019). Ayahuasca: psychological and physiologic effects, pharmacology and potential uses in addiction and mental illness. Current neuropharmacology, 17(2), 108-128.

[10] Bouso, J. C., & Riba, J. (2014). Ayahuasca and the treatment of drug addiction. The therapeutic use of ayahuasca, 95-109.

[11] Peluso, D., Sinclair, E., Labate, B., & Cavnar, C. (2020). Reflections on crafting an ayahuasca community guide for the awareness of sexual abuse. Journal of Psychedelic Studies, 4(1), 24-33.

[12] Palma-Álvarez, R. F., Grau-López, L., Ros-Cucurull, E., Abad, A. C., Dualde, J., Robles-Martínez, M., & Roncero, C. (2021). Psychosis induced by abuse of ayahuasca: a case report. Revista Colombiana de Psiquiatría, 50(1), 43-46.

[13] Callaway, J. C., & Grob, C. S. (1998). Ayahuasca preparations and serotonin reuptake inhibitors: a potential combination for severe adverse interactions. Journal of psychoactive drugs, 30(4), 367-369.

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Ayahuasca Trip: How Long Does It Last?

Ayahuasca: Not your average tea time.

Julia Pfeifer

Ayahuasca, a potent psychedelic brew, has captured global attention far beyond its South American roots.

With growing curiosity about its profound journeys, a common question arises: How long does a typical ayahuasca session last?

While a typical session lasts 4 to 6 hours, many factors can influence this timeline.

This exploration takes you to the core of the ayahuasca experience, examining the length of its effects and the various factors that influence them.

What Is Ayahuasca?

Cauldron used for bewing psychedelic ayahuasca tea/Photo by Eraldo Peres

Ayahuasca is a plant-based psychedelic brew that stands out for its intense hallucinogenic effects. It is deeply rooted in the ceremonial traditions of South America’s indigenous populations and Amazonian tribes.

Over the past few decades, the use of ayahuasca has extended far beyond its origins, gaining popularity across Africa, Asia, Europe, and the United States.

Ayahuasca retreats  have emerged as a popular gateway for those wanting to consume ayahuasca more ceremonially or  traditionally .

What Is Ayahuasca Made Of?

The ayahuasca brew is primarily made from:

Banisteriopsis caapi vine, containing monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs),

Psychotria viridis leaves, which contain the psychedelic compound dimethyltryptamine (DMT)

The preparation involves smashing the Banisteriopsis caapi vine and combining it with Psychotria viridis leaves, then boiling them in water until a brown-reddish liquid with a pungent taste and smell emerges.

Multiple rounds of boiling are often required to achieve the desired concentration. Typically, the final brew is consumed as tea.

How Does Ayahuasca Work?

The mechanism behind ayahuasca’s psychoactive properties hinges on the combination of DMT and MAOIs.

DMT  is a powerful psychedelic compound. On its own, DMT is not orally active because it gets rapidly broken down by monoamine oxidases (MAOs) in the gut and liver. This means that if you were to ingest DMT by itself, the enzymes in your digestive system would deactivate it before it could have any significant psychedelic effects.

However, the MAOIs in the Banisteriopsis caapi vine inhibit these enzymes, allowing DMT to enter the bloodstream and cross the blood-brain barrier with ease.

Once in the brain, DMT binds to serotonin receptors, significantly impacting mood and perception. This interaction is believed to be responsible for ayahuasca’s notable effects.

How Long Does An Ayahuasca Trip Last?

The ayahuasca trip isn’t the same for everyone. Typically, it lasts 4 to 6 hours, but many factors can change this duration and make the trip unique for each person.

After taking ayahuasca, you can expect:

Effects kick in around 30 to 60 minutes after ingestion

Peak effects usually last 2 to 6 hours

Total duration can be as short as 2 hours or as long as 15 hours

The variability in the ayahuasca experience can be attributed to a combination of personal and external factors, including:

Physical Characteristics : A person’s height and weight can affect how their body metabolizes the ayahuasca.

Dosage : Higher doses of the ayahuasca brew can lead to longer and more intense experiences.

Previous Experiences : If you’ve taken ayahuasca before, depending on the dose taken, you may find the duration and effects less strong than the last time.

Taking Other Substances : Using supplements, medications, or other drugs can impact the ayahuasca trip length and intensity, as these substances can interact with ayahuasca in unknown ways.

Ayahuasca Effects

Photo by Ren/Getty Images

Ayahuasca has profound effects, ranging from vivid hallucinations to deep emotional healing, widely discussed by public figures like  Jada Pinkett Smith  and  Aaron Rodgers .

These eight critical effects highlight the transformative power of ayahuasca, offering insight and healing on both a personal and spiritual level:

Intense visual and auditory hallucinations —vivid, colorful patterns, shapes, and visions of real and mythical entities—can include hearing voices, music, or sounds that have no physical source.

Alterations in the perception of time and space —the human sense of space and scale can be dramatically altered, transforming a single moment into an experience that feels like an eternity or like time is moving at lightspeed.

Deep emotional experiences —intense emotions can arise, from overwhelming joy and love to profound sadness or empathy. Users might find themselves revisiting past traumas or confronting deep-seated fears and anxieties, leading to an emotional release and perhaps resolution.

Euphoria —moments of intense happiness are common, and users might feel great peace and contentment after consuming the brew.

Insight —many users report receiving significant insights into personal, life, or philosophical issues.

Healing —psychologically,  studi es  have shown ayahuasca has alleviated symptoms associated with mental health conditions like depression, anxiety, and addiction. Some indigenous cultures also believe in its capacity to cure physical ailments, viewing the physical and psychological as deeply interconnected.

Spiritual awakening —users are often left feeling awakened to a greater reality beyond the physical world, encountering divine beings or experiencing a profound connection with the universe.

Challenging and possibly frightening visions and revelations —not all ayahuasca experiences are positive or comforting. Some users experience challenging visions, facing their deepest fears or confronting unsettling truths about themselves or reality. Even though users describe these experiences as scary, they are often considered necessary for growth and understanding in hindsight.

Ayahuasca Side Effects

Consuming ayahuasca can lead to many side effects. Some of these may be uncomfortable or pose health risks.

Some common side effects experienced by those who take ayahuasca are:

Severe sweating

Elevated blood pressure

Hallucinations

Panic attacks

Temporary confusion and disorientation

Is Ayahuasca Safe?

The question of ayahuasca’s safety invites a complex response.

Throughout this article, we’ve touched on various side effects associated with ayahuasca use, such as intense vomiting, unsettling hallucinations, and panic attacks.

While potentially alarming,  research  into ayahuasca’s side effects within clinical trials has suggested that these adverse reactions, including vomiting and diarrhea, are considered part of the spiritual ‘purge,’ with no major incidents reported across numerous studies.

Yet, an  international survey  highlighted that a small percentage (2%) of ayahuasca users required medical attention for physical side effects, and more than 50% of the participants experienced “challenging” psychological effects. These included hallucinations, feelings of disconnection, and intrusive, disturbing thoughts.

Given ayahuasca’s potent hallucinogenic properties, it’s clear that while the substance may not frequently pose severe risks, its use demands a high degree of caution. This is particularly true for individuals with existing health or mental health concerns.

So, while the potential for profound experiences does exist, so does the possibility of encountering challenging and, sometimes, harmful effects.

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• Ayahuasca Retreat Programs

What is an Ayahuasca Retreat?

An Ayahuasca retreat is an opportunity to work closely with an indigenous shaman through a guided  journey into another dimension . The natural healing power of ayahuasca and other medicinal plants help ayahuasca retreat participants to reconnect to nature and to their true selves.

A Truly Magical Opportunity

During the Ayahuasca Retreats, participants attend ayahuasca ceremonies and they also receive a variety of traditional plant remedies. Receiving treatment from an authentic indigenous shaman, or curandero, is an opportunity to discover, empower, and motivate our true selves to achieve our highest goals of health, harmony, and happiness. Retreat participants are able to replant their spirits in nourishing soil, free from the environmental, mental, and emotional toxins that caused their illness or sorrow.

Healing Treatments

Much more than just ayahuasca ceremonies , our healing retreats feature a multitude of additional treatments outside of the ceremonies, including plant baths, vapor baths, smoke baths, inhalants, purgatives, poultices, massage, counseling, and any internal or topical medical treatment that might be needed to heal particular illnesses or afflictions.  We strive to provide the optimal care and treatment possible during a retreat .

Shipibo Curandero and Curandera

The curandera, doña Angela , is don Ronor’s sister and studied in the same household with her family. She has spent many years in dieta and brings a powerful connection to her ancestral lineage and to the plants. She has developed special relationships with the spirits of noya rao and bobinsana, along with the other root maestros of her familial lineage. Doña Angela leads our ten day ayahuasca retreat. She has a deeply compassionate approach to her work which is seen and felt in the way she holds her ceremonies and provides treatment. She is always willing to provide help and guidance and makes herself available in truly caring way to the guests as well as the staff. She is a mother and her energy is heavily influenced by her female nurturing spirit. During the retreat, she dedicates her time completely to the healing work and the entire staff enjoys her presence and passion for helping and healing everyone she encounters. She is a true maestra.

Retreat Facilities

Riosbo Ayahuasca Retreat & Research Center,  the premier center in the region, features luxury accommodations, comfortable private rooms with full electricity and en suite bathrooms, hot and cold water, personal fans, a river-view balcony and hammock deck, as well as massage room, yoga/meditation studio, consultation and activities rooms. Programs are either 10 days, 18 days, or 4 weeks long and feature 5, 9, or 11 ayahuasca ceremonies, respectively. Ayahuasca retreats are facilitated by bi-lingual apprentices who contribute their own healing insights and complimentary treatments like massage, yoga, meditation, breathwork, and counseling. Retreats take a maximum of twelve participants.

Ayahuasca Retreats we offer:

Ten day retreat .

$3,450 Riosbo Research Center 5 Ayahuasca ceremonies 10 Additional plant treatments Cacao breathwork ceremony Meditation, yoga, art therapy LEARN MORE

HARMONIZE YOUR HEALTH: Attend  5 ceremonies at the Riosbo Research Center led by a Shipibo maestro. Receive numerous personalized plant treatments including plant baths, vapor baths, smoke baths, purgatives, inhalants, cleanses, and other plant medicines.  Complimentary healing practices like yoga, meditation, breathwork, art & music therapy are also included in the retreat.

EIGHTEEN DAY RETREAT

$4,650 Riosbo Research Center 8 Ayahuasca ceremonies 21 Additional plant treatments Noya Rao or Bobinsana dieta Meditation, yoga, art therapy LEARN MORE

COMPLETE HEALING: Participate in 8 ayahuasca ceremonies led by a Shipibo curandero. Enter a deep plant dieta with Noya Rao or Bobinsana. Receive a complete program of plant treatments including vapor and plant baths, deep internal body cleanses, blood purification, and consciousness enhancement.   Extra offerings include yoga, meditation, cacao & breathwork ceremonies, art & music therapy, as well as swimming, hiking, fishing, star-gazing, and just relaxing in paradise .

FOUR WEEK COURSE

$5,850 Riosbo Research Center 11 Ayahuasca ceremonies 24 Additional treatments Noya Rao or Bobinsana dieta Cacao breathwork ceremony Meditation, yoga, art therapy LEARN MORE

REVIVE YOUR HEALING POWER:  Spend four weeks at the Riosbo Research Center and  attend 11 ceremonies  led by a Shipibo maestro.   Get the deepest personalized healing treatment program possible  with dozens of plant treatments and cleanses. Learn the Shipibo tradition and do a BOBINSANA DIETA . Integrative practices like yoga, meditation, and breathwork help to guide your own personal process to fully empower yourself as a healer .

Why Choose Our Ayahuasca Retreat?

• Safety is our first priority – Ayahuasca Retreats at our center are done within a format that has been developed and practiced since 2009. Our operational model prioritizes participant safety and has proven to be both safe and tremendously effective
• Personalized treatments – Our retreats offer numerous plant medicine treatments outside of ceremony. These include cleanses of the digestive system, nervous system, circulatory system, respiratory system, and immune system. Individualized treatments are also administered for each participant according to their specific needs.
• Complimentary practices – In addition to the ayahuasca ceremonies, the plant remedies, and personalized treatments, our retreats also offer complimentary practices like guided meditation, yoga, breathwork ceremonies, cacao ceremonies, ecstatic dance, music workshops, and Shipibo culture lessons.
• Small group sizes – We know that the bonds formed within the group are of great value to the healing experience and the amount of personal interaction with the staff is directly related to the outcomes of the retreat. We keep groups to a maximum of twelve people to keep the retreats manageable and ensure each participant receives more than enough attention.
• Family style accommodations – We designed our lodge to be like a home, fostering the level of support for one another that exists in family. So much of the healing work involves our family experiences and memories, and the environment of our center as well as the community within which it is located enhances the healing potential of each group and individual.
• Community support – Our retreat center is located inside the Mishana jungle community, inside a national reserve, and nearly all of the staff are from that community. Participants can see the benefits of their financial contributions in the community when they walk around and interact with the community members.
• A paradise location – The center sits on the bank of the Nanay river, which is a great place for swimming, and is surrounded by over 100,000 acres of pristine forest. The center itself is completely off the grid yet offers electricity for fans in the rooms, hot water in the showers, and a level of comfort that is rare to find in the jungle.
• Rainforest preservation – In collaboration with the organization One Million Acres, a portion of the cost of our ayahuasca retreat goes to support the preservation of the Amazon rainforest and the indigenous cultures, as well.

Check out an Article on the Retreat Guru blog:

How to choose an ayahuasca retreat center.

written by Carlos Tanner

Spiritual Growth

Our aim is to provide you with the optimum environment for you to replant your spirit. All treatments and activities are optional, so go at your own pace. Two or three weeks is a relatively short period of time in a human being’s life, and we really see this process not as a complete and final solution to your problems, but rather as a new beginning, a foundation on which to build over time, providing inspiration for your spiritual growth. We are also here to let you know that anything is possible . What we have found is this: the people who take responsibility for their own healing, put their trust and faith in the plants and in us, let go of expectations and truly commit themselves with intention to their process. These people always get what they need , unfolding into the most profound depths of inner transformation possible for them, and are then gratefully ready to continue the work of integrating their experiences for the rest of their lives.

Focus on Care

Regardless of which retreat you choose, the Ayahuasca Foundation ensures that the highest level of care possible will be provided to you. Our staff is comprised of dedicated students who are always striving to learn more, do more, and be more. Even our curanderos who have decades of experience are always trying to improve and learn, but especially our assistant healers who manage the day to day activities during the programs. There is no end to what can be learned and improved upon, as there is no end to the depth of the ayahuasca healing tradition. It is truly limitless .

What can be treated on an Ayahuasca Retreat?

While a great deal of attention is given to the healing effects of ayahuasca in treating anxiety and depression, when combined with the use of a wide variety of other plants and natural plant remedies, there really is nothing that cannot be treated on an Ayahuasca Retreat.  Below is a listing of conditions and the effectiveness of treatment.

MENTAL & EMOTIONAL CONDITIONS

Depression is definitely the most common condition we treat and also the condition we have the most success in treating. With both the two and three week ayahuasca retreats we have a 100% success rate of improving depression, but improvement is only lasting if lifestyle changes are made after the retreat. We offer methods and practices for integration during our programs, as well as counseling afterwards, but it is ultimately up to each person to follow through.

Anxiety is a condition we treat very often and always with positive results. The tradition’s combination of treatment methods is ideal for treating both depression and anxiety, as well as a number of other conditions. Our ayahuasca retreats have a 100% success rate for improvement with treatment of anxiety, but again, it is up to each person to follow through on making and maintaining lifestyle changes after the retreat.

PTSD and the negative effects of emotional trauma are helped tremendously by treatment with the indigenous healing tradition during our ayahuasca retreats in the Amazon. Using a series of remedies that help to release pent up emotions, unlock buried memories, and reroute unhealthy neural pathways, the tradition provides a path towards acceptance, self-love, and optimism for a bright future.

Our ayahuasca retreats have a very high success rate treating Insomnia, as its causes are typically related to depression, anxiety, and emotional trauma. Simply from a chemical perspective, the effect ayahuasca has on the production of serotonin in the brain is very helpful, but finding balance at the root of the condition is key, and that is often achieved through the combination of several treatment methods.

In the treatment of OCD and other similar disorders, it is not so much about alleviating the condition, but rather discovering a more preferable manner of thinking and acting, and even more so, remembering self-love in an unconditional form. Accepting ourselves is an important step in any healing process, but most especially with conditions like these, and the Ayahuasca Foundation’s ayahuasca retreats in Peru can provide tremendous benefit.

Our ayahuasca retreats have had success in helping people struggling with addiction. It is certainly more challenging because the roots of addiction are so varied, although in general relate to emotional trauma and a lack of self love. With treatment for addiction, integration and a commitment to lasting lifestyle changes is essential. Turning the corner is achievable, but following the new path in life is more important. We do everything we can to assist with those processes.

DIGESTIVE CONDITIONS

Acid reflux.

Acid reflux has become one of the most common afflictions of the Western world. Poor eating habits combined with increased emotional stress create systemic enzyme imbalances that are difficult to treat, and, unfortunately, present an opportunity for pharmaceutical companies to take advantage of a maintainable condition. Particular plant treatments and a regimented diet can provide tremendous benefit. We have had great success during our ayahuasca retreats with the treatment of acid reflux.

Leaky gut is a different expression to similar roots as acid reflux. The treatment is also very similar. We have had very good success on our ayahuasca retreats with helping people who suffer from leaky gut, and many other digestive issues.

Candida is a troublesome condition for western treatment because it is an intelligent living being, aware and capable of learning. Therefore, treatment with unconscious chemicals is limiting and often causes adaptation of the being rather than eradication. Treatment with plants, however, which are also intelligent living beings capable of their own learning and adaptation, significantly increases the chances of success, which we have observed on numerous occasions with the treatment methods used during our ayahuasca retreats.

The treatment of ulcers goes beyond just the physical. Although the roots of the affliction are similar to acid reflux, the emotional aspects usually go deeper. A complete treatment is necessary. Our ayahuasca retreats have had very good results with the treatment of ulcers, but important lifestyle changes must follow. We assist with the maintenance of those changes.

Most people from the Western world don’t consider parasites a possibility unless they have traveled to a third world country, but parasites are everywhere. They go undetected due to a lack of proper testing within the western medical industry, and are often mistreated as a digestive issue. Our ayahuasca retreats have had tremendous success treating parasites, often times when participants did not know they had them.

All food allergies are a sign that something is not right. People don’t ‘just have’ an allergy to a normal food. Celiac disease is complicated by the current modification and distortion of gluten in the food industry, most especially in the mass production of bread (at least it’s called bread), but there is more going on within the immune system as well, which is compromised in various ways. While we have only had a handful of cases on our ayahuasca retreats, we have had great success with the treatment of all of them.

Crohn’s Disease

Like most digestive issues, Crohn’s disease is also linked to emotional trauma, stress, and improper diet. During our ayahuasca retreats we have only treated two cases of Crohn’s but both were successful treatments, with one of the participants being healed after 35 years of suffering. In both cases, after many years of chronic diarrhea and the other digestive issues associated with the disease, the participants were able to return to normal digestive processes, free from suffering.

PHYSICAL CONDITIONS

Allergies are nearly as prevalent in the people who attend our ayahuasca retreats as depression and anxiety, although most cases are not very serious. Our immune systems should naturally be able to defend against natural elements of our environment, but again, when compromised by toxicity, trauma, stress, and diet, there are obstacles in the way of health being achieved. We have had very good results treating allergies, but lifestyle changes are necessary as well.

At our ayahuasca retreats we have treated numerous cases of arthritis with good success. Only in the most extreme cases were we not able to achieve significant improvements, but even in those few cases, there was improvement. A number of treatments are involved, and there are some fantastic natural remedies employed in the process.

Chronic Fatigue

Chronic fatigue can be a complicated condition to treat, for it is most likely a combination of various factors, including toxic environmental influences, emotional stress and/or trauma, depression, energy blockages, and poor diet/lifestyle. The treatment during our ayahuasca retreats involves heaving cleansing, which can be challenging because it requires effort on the part of the patient. Participation correlates directly to effectiveness.

The cleansing process involved in treatment coupled with the dietary restrictions during ayahuasca retreats make for a successful weight loss plan. It is very common to lose weight during a program, nearly guaranteed, but especially excess weight. We recently had someone lose 37lbs in three weeks (2lbs per day). Because the digestive system is rebalanced in the healing and the emotional issues at the core of the condition are addressed, weight usually continues to drop and stay off.

Sleep Apnea

We have only had a handful of participants on our ayahuasca retreats receive treatment for sleep apnea, but 100% found it very helpful, including two participants who were healed completely. Of course, like all other treatments, continuing with lifestyle changes after the retreat is necessary to maintain the health achieved during the programs.

We have successfully treated both glaucoma and cataracts with plant medicine during our ayahuasca retreats. There are clearly emotional and mental factors contributing to the conditions that are effectively addressed with this healing tradition. However, participation and faith in the process is imperative for success.

ILLNESS & DISEASE

While we have not had great success with treating type 1 Diabetes, we have been able to help nearly every participant treated for type 2 diabetes. Obviously, type 2 is influenced much more by lifestyle habits and diet, and so following our program helps tremendously, especially with the specific remedies used to control blood sugar levels. After the ayahuasca retreat, maintaining the healthy habits practiced during the program is very important.

We’ve only treated three cases of Hepatitis, and only one case of Hep B. All participants were helped significantly, along with anyone else suffering from liver or kidney problems. Cleansing the organs, boosting the immune system, and purifying the blood are parts of the physical aspects of treatment during our ayahuasca retreats, along with addressing mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects.

Multiple Sclerosis

Multiple Sclerosis can be treated naturally using a number of healing traditions. The Amazon traditions, while beneficial, may not be the best choice, simply because the climate and environment is typically very uncomfortable for anyone suffering from MS. We have helped a few people with medicine brought back from the Amazon by another participant, but we usually recommend considering a tradition like San Pedro, which takes place in a more comfortable climate.

Cancer is a very broad category, but treatment methods all follow similar principles. Purification of the blood, boosting the immune system, and addressing the emotional roots of the condition are the methods that make up the core of treatment for most diseases. We have only treated three ayahuasca retreat participants for cancer. While one person was healed completely and remains cancer free over seven years later, the other two people were not healed, although their cases differed greatly as well as their attitudes and engagement with the process.

We have only treated three patients for AIDS/HIV but each participant benefited tremendously. All three reported that their lives had been completely transformed. One was totally healed and is still HIV negative after seven years, while the other two test negatively, but continue to take medication as a precaution. It is important to note that all three had profound faith in the process and engaged very well with the treatment and medicine.

Replant Your Spirit

Do the Ayahuasca Retreats feature Additional Activities?

Apart from the ayahuasca ceremonies and daily treatments, participants always have some free time each day.  They also have some options for how to spend that free time.  The Assistant Healers offer additional complementary activities to enhance the healing process and optimize the potential for healing with ayahuasca, plant medicines, and self reflection and discovery.  Below is a listing of additional activities. 

Star Gazing

Ayahuasca Retreat Reviews

Comments from Previous Retreat Participants

This place is just amazing.  Everyone here has been so great and so supportive.  It’s just a beautiful place to be, surrounded by nature, so much green, so many animals everywhere, not big animals, little ones.  And just having the river nearby, that was pretty glorious, and there’s this mud you can put all over yourself and let it draw all the toxins out and it just feels so great.  And the food was great, lots of good food.  Everything was just awesome.  It was a really good experience and I highly recommend it to anyone thinking of coming down here.  Just do it.  It’s definitely worth it.  Life changing.  Thank you Ayahuasca Foundation.

I would say if you’re looking for a life changing experience, something that’s gonna have a positive significant effect on your life, then it’s definitely worth considering.  Almost words can’t describe… it’s been a clearly unique experience, something which I’ll value all my life, highly recommended.

What I’ve more or less accomplished and what I’m really grateful for is that I had a really strong, firm belief that something was wrong with me which prevented me from fully accepting myself and I really feel that I have been able to get over it so I’ve been able to let go of this limiting belief and replace it with self love. I’m not saying that I’m there, I still have a long way to go as everybody, but that the roots of this negative belief are gone, which opened the way for me to actually love myself.

It’s been great. It’s felt like I’ve lived a lifetime in three weeks. I’ve really been able to almost reprogram myself and undo a lot of negative habits and a lot of negative ways of thinking about myself and my life and my past. It’s really brought a lot of healing and closure in many aspects of many lingering issues. It’s great. It’s fantastic. It’s been really lovely. It’s very comfortable. The location with the Mishana community is fantastic. Being able to interact with people and being on a reserve is lovely, being able to go hiking and experience the indigenous nature. It’s also great that there are no mosquitoes here.

You should come.  Absolutely, hands down, yes please.  It’s gonna put some perspective in your life, bring you back to faith, strength, courage, and happiness and healing that’s perpetuated by myself, and that is wicked.  It’ll make you whole and a big part of it is the plants as well, not just the ayahuasca.  Absolutely do it.

Watch Video Reviews

Want More Information about Ayahuasca Retreats?

10 Day Ayahuasca Retreat: $3,450

5 Ayahuasca ceremonies 12 Additional treatments Meditation, yoga, cacao ceremony breathwork ceremony, art & music therapy LEARN MORE

18 Day Ayahuasca Retreat: $4,650

8 Ayahuasca ceremonies Bobinsana or Noya Rao dieta 21 Additional treatments Meditation, yoga, cacao ceremony breathwork ceremony, art therapy LEARN MORE

Interested in Learning more about Ayahuasca Courses?

4 Week Healing Empowerment Course: $5,850

– 11 Ayahuasca ceremonies led by Shipibo curanderos – 24 Additional holistic treatments for afflictions – One plant dieta with Bobinsana – Daily lectures, treatments, and activities – Healing tools, pomades, mapachos… – Mp3 player & USB with recordings, photos, and videos – Epigenetics, Breathwork, Meditation LEARN MORE

8 Week Ayahuasca Initiation Course: $6,850

– 22 Ayahuasca ceremonies led by Shipibo curanderos – Authentic training in Shipibo curanderismo – Two plant dietas with Noya Rao and another plant – Daily lectures, workshops, and activities – Natural holistic treatment for afflictions – Ceremonial cushma, pomades, mapachos… – Mp3 player & USB with recordings, photos, and videos LEARN MORE 

• Ten Day Ayahuasca Retreat
• Eighteen Day Ayahuasca Retreat
• Four Week Empowerment Course
• Program Schedule
• Retreat Reviews
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Ayahuasca Retreat Center
• The Mishana Community

Ayahuasca Retreats

Attend ayahuasca ceremonies and receive treatment with natural plant medicines.

Eight Week Initiation Courses

Study the healing tradition of ayahuasca and plant medicine with a true Shipibo maestro.

Four Week Healing Empowerment Courses

Revive your inner healer and regain your personal power in mind, body, and spirit.

• Address: Calle Pevas, 113 – C, Iquitos, Peru. South America
• Patty ( English and Spanish ) + 51 987 791 893
• Mariela ( Spanish ) +51 931 465 194

The Premiere Ayahuasca Retreat in Peru

For over 20 years we have been offering guests a personalized experience to meet their individual physical, emotional and spiritual needs for plant medicine healing.

In order to deliver our guests the highest quality of service, safety, and authentic healing experiences with ayahuasca shamanism, we have assembled a talented team who work at our iquitos office, and at ‘the refugio’ itself.

Immerse Yourself in the Amazon Rainforest

Refugio Altiplano Healing Center is a premier Peruvian ayahuasca retreat nestled within over 1,200 acres of lush and vibrant Amazonian rainforest in South America. This environment provides an idyllic and tranquil setting for individuals seeking to engage in the practice of ayahuasca shamanism and natural medicine healing.

Connect with Nature and Yourself

The vast and verdant Peruvian landscape surrounding Refugio Altiplano Healing Center offers ample opportunity for visitors to immerse themselves in nature and experience the restorative powers of the natural world. The forest is alive with the sounds of birdsong and wildlife, and visitors can explore the surrounding wilderness, hike along scenic trails, and connect with the earth in a profound and meaningful way.

A Safe Space for Healing

Within the protective embrace of the forest, Refugio Altiplano Healing Center offers a safe and private space for individuals to explore the healing potential of ayahuasca shamanism and natural medicine. The Center’s experienced and compassionate staff work to create a supportive environment that fosters personal growth, transformation, and spiritual awakening.

Dedicated Team Ensures Your Comfort

Your journey at Refugio Altiplano starts in Iquitos with our dedicated team. They’re here to support you every step of the way, from the moment you inquire to the end of your stay. Whether you have questions about the ayahuasca experience, the healing process, or simply need a listening ear, our team is here for you. They’ll provide all the information you need and ensure you feel comfortable and cared for throughout your time with us. They are the heart of our operation, and their passion for your well-being is what truly makes Refugio Altiplano special.

Expert Guidance on Your Journey

At Refugio Altiplano, we believe ayahuasca journeys can be truly transformative. That’s why we’re proud to have a team of skilled practitioners by your side. These experienced professionals are deeply committed to the practice of ayahuasca shamanism and dedicated to guiding you towards the transformative experience you seek.

From leading ceremonies to providing one-on-one support, our practitioners are there every step of the way. Their expertise ensures you feel safe, supported, and empowered to explore the depths of your consciousness.

A Genuine And Authentic Ayahuasca Healing Experience

For over 20 years, Refugio Altiplano has been guiding individuals on personalized journeys of healing and transformation. Whether you seek physical or emotional relief, deepen your spiritual connection, or simply reconnect with nature, we create a unique experience tailored to your specific needs.

We are deeply committed to providing the best service, ensuring your safety, and offering an authentic ayahuasca shamanism experience. That’s why we’ve assembled a team of highly skilled individuals dedicated to supporting you every step of the way.

Pick the Perfect Retreat For You

7-day retreat, 9-day retreat, 12-day retreat, ayahuasca immersion, exploring ayahuasca transformations.

10 million views of VSauce Ayahuasca documentary filmed at Refugio Altiplano

The altered state of consciousness

Achieving higher states of being.

As a shamanic healing center, we practice spiritual healing while in an altered state of consciousness. This state allows our Shipibo Shaman to commune with their spirit allies, and to guide the experience of the guest so that they may achieve healthier states of being.

Your safety is our top priority

Ensuring your safety is our top priority, so before joining us at Refugio Altiplano, take a moment to familiarize yourself with any potential risks associated with ayahuasca and ensure you’re not taking any medications that could be unsafe in combination. We only work with experienced facilitators to guide our traditional ceremonies, providing a safe and supportive environment for all participants during the ceremony. They also offer support and guidance after the ceremony to help you integrate your experiences.

Using ayahuasca

Sacred plant medicine

In order to access these altered states of consciousness, we use the sacred plant medicine ‘Ayahuasca’. The brew is the result of the combining the ayahuasca vine and the leaves of the chacruna plant. The ingredients are sourced from our botanical garden, and we do not use any foreign admixtures. For more information on ayahuasca please click here.

The ayahuasca is considered a medicine and a powerful teacher. It is during a formal, structured ceremony that this sacrament is consumed by the Shaman and the participants. The ceremony lasts for several hours, directed by the Shaman and supervised by our support staff.

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A highly trained staff of healers and facilitators

At Refugio Altiplano Healing Center, in addition to ayahuasca, we are able to provide you with herbal medicine and Shamanic diets customized to your healing needs and aspirations. Following a consultation with the Shipibo Shaman, suitable herbs or plants will be sourced from our botanical garden. For more information on Plants & Diets please click here.

• We give each guest the attention needed to process and assimilate their own experience at refugio altiplano.
• A first class center offers private residences, house keeping and laundry services.
•  Our talented kitchen crew can accommodate the dietary needs of each guest during your stay.

Sacred healing rituals in the forests of Peru

Explore Traditional Ayahuasca Ceremonies

What people say about us.

I just wanted to thank you for keeping Refugio Altplano alive. This has been the best month of my life. I felt so loved and taken care of. Jamie and José are amazing shaman.

I had a wonderfully productive and therapeutic time at the Refugio Altiplano. Everyone working there receives full marks in every respect for their commitment to making my stay there easy and gentle on me.

My husband and I booked the full 12 day retreat at the Refugio Altiplano after speaking directly with Kelly, the owner. 

Kathy M , Kelowna BC

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