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How to Get Over Your Fear of Flying

Conquer any preflight jitters with these expert tips from pilots, flight attendants, and therapists.

If the idea of flying makes you nervous, you're not alone. Thankfully, there are a few simple steps you can take to alleviate anxiety before or during your next flight. Learning more about aircraft technology, choosing the right seat, or distracting yourself with an epic movie marathon on the plane could all make a difference. But if fear of flying is really holding you back, it's worth considering therapy.

While a clinical diagnosis of aviophobia is pretty rare, general anxiety about air travel is far more common. Some fliers are worried about being in an enclosed space for too long, others dislike heights, and a select group are terrified they might accidentally open a plane door mid-flight. Whatever your trigger may be, these expert tips from pilots, flight attendants, and therapists can help you overcome your fear of flying.

Getty Images / iStockphoto

Investigate the root of your fear.

More often than not, it's not the flying itself you're actually afraid of — that's why it's important to analyze your anxiety before you try to overcome it.

"When people come in wanting to address a fear of flying, they will often say that they know flying is a safe form of travel and this may make sense to them in a rational, logical way," says clinical psychologist Dr. Rebecca Hoffenberg of NY Health Hypnosis & Integrative Therapy. "The problem is that their body has formed a response pattern where airplanes have become associated with anxiety."

Licensed therapist Jules Jean-Pierre of Therapeutic Health Counseling suggests that the more common fears associated with flying are the fears of dying, small spaces (claustrophobia), motion sickness , getting COVID-19, and judgment from fellow passengers, among others. Once you figure out what triggers your anxiety about flying, you can focus on overcoming that specific trigger. 

Demystify turbulence.

Turbulence is nothing more than wonky wind currents that cause planes to bobble a bit, not at all unlike driving on a bumpy road or sailing on a choppy sea. But seriously, there's no need to worry — planes are specifically designed to handle and minimize turbulence.

"When you look out your window and see the wing bobbing up and down as the plane experiences turbulence, don't fear that the plane is about to come apart," says United Airlines captain Korry Franke. "Instead, be thankful, because those flexing wings are like shock absorbers working to smooth out the bumpy ride on a dirt country road."

Plus, these days, technology is used to predict areas of turbulence so that pilots can avoid them and provide the smoothest ride possible.

Learn about built-in safety features.

"Airplanes are mystical — albeit commonplace — machines. They make strange noises and provide unique sensations. They're complex. And they operate in a system with few parallels to what people know and understand," says Franke. So comfort yourself by learning how planes are designed to withstand emergencies. Preparedness is key in any emergency and knowing that you're equipped to handle different scenarios may help ease any worry.

It's also helpful to do some research about air circulation on planes to help alleviate your fear of contracting COVID-19 (or any other contagious illness) on a flight. According to the International Air Transport Association (IATA) website , fresh air is continually pumped into the plane — the cabin air is refreshed every two to three minutes — and any recycled air is pushed through HEPA filters that remove 99.9 percent of impurities, including bacteria and viruses. Plus, as the Federal Aviation Administration's website states , the air in a cabin typically flows from the ceiling to the floor, not from front to back, so contaminants are not usually swirling around. 

Study plane crash history.

It might sound counterintuitive, but arming yourself with knowledge of past aviation incidents might help you feel more at ease on a flight. Try watching a show like Mayday (also known as Air Disasters ), which educates viewers about plane crashes — it'll tell you what went wrong, why it went wrong, and how the industry has changed to prevent such an incident from happening again.

You can also watch videos of all the tests planes must undergo before being approved for flight, from stress tests that show how much wings can bend to extreme flight tests that push the limits of an aircraft. Spoiler alert: planes are really tough.

Talk to your flight attendants.

Flight attendants are always there for you. "We are your best advocate. We will continue to check up on you and see how you are doing to make sure you feel good during your flight," says flight attendant Jennifer Jaki Johnson, founder of travel wellness brand WellMiss. "We are trained to handle fainting, hyperventilation, and a list of various health incidents that may occur on the plane."

They're also air safety experts. Flight attendants are required by airlines to do in-person training once a year (supplemented with regular online training) to ensure they're up-to-date on emergency procedures. "Our number one priority is to ensure the safety of our passengers," says Johnson. "So, know you are in good hands."

Take a flying lesson.

"I truly believe people generally aren't fearful of flying; they're afraid of what they don't know, or they're afraid of being out of control," says Franke. Eliminate the mystery by taking a flying lesson — if not in a real plane, then at least in a simulator. That way, when you get on your next flight as a passenger, you'll have a much more thorough understanding of how a plane works.

Pick a seat that helps you avoid your trigger.

One of the few things passengers do have control over on a flight is seat selection. Once you've determined the root of your fear, choose a seat that helps minimize your triggers. It might even be worth spending extra. If you're afraid of heights, stay away from the windows. Conversely, if being aware of what's going on outside helps keep you calm, park yourself in a window seat. Aisle seats can be helpful for those who feel claustrophobic or restless and need to move around — upgrading to business or first class could be helpful there, too.

Visualize the trip before you leave home.

Mentally going through the motions of air travel and creating a plan can also reduce your fear. "Perhaps the person starts by engaging in active imaginal strategy, simply walking through, in their head, the steps to leaving their home, traveling to the airport, and imagining themselves waiting for the flight, being greeted to board the flight, and how they could actually enjoy the flight," suggests Rodney Luster, a psychotherapist and senior director at the University of Phoenix College of Doctoral Studies. If you're not familiar with the process, enlist the help of a friend or family member who travels regularly — they may be able to coach you through the steps.

See a therapist.

If your fear is truly paralyzing, you're probably best off seeking professional help. "Mental health professionals can help individuals overcome a fear of flying through the use of cognitive behavioral therapy and exposure and response prevention," says Dr. Rachel Kutner, psychologist and founder of Central CBT. Medical doctors can also prescribe anti-anxiety medication, which can certainly help nervous fliers.

Find a distraction that works.

Some people can get lost in a good movie or podcast, which could distract them from the fact that they're flying, but it's not that simple for everyone. Travel writer Nicole Ratner suggests finding an engaging activity that will take your attention away from the anxiety. "So, for instance, I am left-handed, and when any turbulence begins, I will take out a piece of paper and use my opposite hand to write my name over and over again. It helps keep my brain sharp and focused on what's in front of me to distract me from the fear."

Use grounding or breathing techniques on board.

"Grounding oneself helps a person get out of their head and focus on their surroundings. When a person grounds, they become aware of their five senses in their environment," says licensed psychotherapist James Miller, who hosts the Lifeology radio show. "For example, what do I hear around me? Let me feel my toes in my shoes, my hands on my pants. What do I smell? Taste? See? When a person focuses solely on their senses, it helps reduce the anxious thoughts and causes them to stay present in the moment."

Miller also recommends using breathing techniques to reduce anxiety, such as box breathing. "This allows a person to maximize their breath instead of allowing the fear and worry to increase their heart rate and potentially cause a panic attack," he says.

Do it anyway.

Exposure therapy really is a solid way to confront a phobia, according to some experts. "Exposure allows a person to come into contact with the feared stimulus and disprove their exaggerated, irrational cognitions surrounding the fear," says Dr. Kutner. Avoidance, on the other hand, only makes fears worse. So, if you really want to overcome a fear of flying, the best thing you can do for yourself is to get on a plane. Start small with a very short flight, then gradually work your way up to longer ones.

Travel with a trusted companion.

If you're going to tackle your fear head-on, a little personal support can go a long way. "Rely on a trusted travel companion to come with you on the flight. Be honest about your fears and share what you think may be helpful for you if you start to feel afraid," says Gina Radice-Vella, chief psychologist at Jersey Shore University Medical Center.

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Confession: I’m Terrified of Flying

I have a confession to make: I have a huge fear of flying. I hate it. It scares the living shit out of me.

This is how my typical airport experience goes:

Before the flight: “I can’t wait to get on a plane and relax and watch some movies. This is going to be great!”

During takeoff: “Why are we turning like this? Are we rolling over?! Why does the engine sound that way? I don’t like this. Are we going to die? Get me off!”

During the flight, as I watch a movie or do work: “I can’t believe we’re flying. Science is amazing. I have Wi-Fi in the sky! Look at all the pretty clouds!”

During turbulence: “What was that sound? Are we supposed to turn like that? Why is this so bumpy?! That was a big drop! What’s wrong? We’re all gonna die!!! Ahhhh!!!”

During landing: “Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. It’s going to be fine. Breathe.”

After the flight: “I love flying. Let’s go do it again!”

Flying gives me a lot of anxiety. I grip the armrest white-knuckled at least half the flight! It’s gotten so bad over the years, I can no longer fly without taking a Xanax beforehand. And I’m not alone: over 30% of people get anxiety while flying .

For me, it’s because I’m scared of heights… or, more specifically, falling. I don’t like bungee jumps, being near ledges, or even looking down from a tall building. It sets my heart racing and gives me slight vertigo. I am the opposite of an adrenaline junkie.

Heck, sometimes on high bridges, I need to walk on the inside of the sidewalk and look down at the ground in order to get across.

And, even though statistically, flying is one of the safest modes of transportation (there is a 1 in 11 million chance of dying in a plane crash, but 1 in 100 in a car), I don’t have a similar reaction when I’m driving. I feel safe because I’m in control.

“I’m driving, I’m great — it’s everyone else I need to watch out for,” I (and most people) think.

However, when we are in a plane, it’s all up to two strangers we’ve never met in the front of an aluminum tube going 500 miles an hour 37,000 feet above the air.

A lot of the fear of flying is about that lack of control. I mean, how do you know those pilots know what they are doing or don’t want to fly into a mountain? You don’t really.

On a rational level, I know I’m going to make it to my destination. Almost 99% of planes crashes don’t have any fatalities , so even if we do crash, the odds are in my favor.

But the lost sense of control freaks me out. I mean, who are these pilots? Did they get enough sleep the night before? Are they sane? Are they experienced enough to know what to do in an emergency?

I recently sat on a flight next to a guy who provided counseling for pilots and flight attendants with substance abuse problems. On the one hand, I was comforted by the fact the FAA has stringent rules (sadly, not many other countries do) related to the issue. On the other, I was disturbed by how much of a problem he told me this was in the industry.

There I am, 35,000 feet above the ground, with my fate in the hands of two strangers. It combines my two biggest fears. I mean, what if we go down? You have twenty or thirty seconds of sheer terrifying falling as you realize THIS IS IT! ( Having experienced a rapid descent once, I can tell you it’s not fun. )

But I fly around 100,000 miles a year, so I have to learn how to deal with my fear. Flying is part of my job, and gets me to where I want to go the most efficient way — and I want to go a lot of places.

And since I’m not alone, I want to share some tricks I’ve learned to help get over the fear of flying (or, at the least, cope with the anxiety):

1. Fake it — As the saying goes, fake it until you make it. When I’m flying, I like to imagine myself as a normal person. What would a person who isn’t afraid of flying do right now? They would sit there, read the in-flight magazine or sleep, and be calm. They would tune it out. So I turn my headphones on, take a deep breath, and read a book or focus on a movie. I tune out my fear and pretend it doesn’t exist. I distract my mind and have it focus on something else. This trick works wonders, and by the time I tune back in, we’re at cruising altitude and the anxiety is gone!

2. Recite the facts — I like to recite facts about airline safety to reassure myself that planes are safe and I’m going to be fine. I’m always repeating to myself things like “Planes are safe, planes are safe — they have strict safety rules” or “Turbulence doesn’t cause plane crashes — it’s just changes in airflow” or “Cars are far more dangerous.” Use your rational mind to realize how silly the fear is and how there’s no reason for you to be afraid. The fact that we as a society make a big deal out of airplane crashes is because they are so rare.

3. Drink — When I can’t fake it or my rational mind isn’t working, I drink to calm my nerves. It works wonders as well. On long flights, it’s me, those mini-bottles of wine (or an Ambien), and sleep until my destination. Sometimes just taking the edge off is the only way to deal with it.

4. Pay attention — This really only works because I fly so much, but I’ve found that knowing what a normal flight sounds like can really help. I look at Flight Aware to see what normal speeds on takeoff, cruising, and landing look like for my flight. I pay attention to the engine a lot so I know, “Ok, it’s supposed to sound like that.” Knowing what a normal flight is like helps me realize that mine is normal too — and that takes the edge off.

5. Download the SOAR app — The SOAR app was created by a pilot to help passengers deal with their fear of flying. It’s super informative and can take some of the mystery out of things like turbulence. It’s super useful!

6. Say hi to the pilot — As I said above, part of my issue is that I am not in control. Saying hello to the pilots and, if possible, chatting with them shows me that they are normal, competent people. They know how to do their job so I just need to sit back, relax, and let them do it.

It wasn’t always this way — I used to love roller coasters, heights, and flying, and wasn’t afraid of falling off a bridge. But something changed over the last few years.

Now, I look down from the plane and think, “We’re far up. We’re screwed. Someone get me a glass of wine!”

So, while I might never get over my fear of flying, I can manage it and not let it control me.

After a few deep breaths, some wine, realizing there are safety standards in place, and zoning out on the latest in-flight films, I calm down, enjoy the flight, and marvel at the science that gets me halfway around the world in fifteen hours.  

Book Your Trip: Logistical Tips and Tricks

Book Your Flight Find a cheap flight by using Skyscanner . It’s my favorite search engine because it searches websites and airlines around the globe so you always know no stone is being left unturned.

Book Your Accommodation You can book your hostel with Hostelworld . If you want to stay somewhere other than a hostel, use Booking.com as it consistently returns the cheapest rates for guesthouses and hotels.

Don’t Forget Travel Insurance Travel insurance will protect you against illness, injury, theft, and cancellations. It’s comprehensive protection in case anything goes wrong. I never go on a trip without it as I’ve had to use it many times in the past. My favorite companies that offer the best service and value are:

• SafetyWing (best for everyone)
• InsureMyTrip (for those 70 and over)
• Medjet (for additional evacuation coverage)

Want to Travel for Free? Travel credit cards allow you to earn points that can be redeemed for free flights and accommodation — all without any extra spending. Check out my guide to picking the right card and my current favorites to get started and see the latest best deals.

Need Help Finding Activities for Your Trip? Get Your Guide is a huge online marketplace where you can find cool walking tours, fun excursions, skip-the-line tickets, private guides, and more.

Got a comment on this article? Join the conversation on Facebook , Instagram , or Twitter and share your thoughts!

Disclosure: Please note that some of the links above may be affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission if you make a purchase. I only recommend products and companies I use. Opinions, reviews, analyses & recommendations are mine alone and have not been reviewed, endorsed, or approved by any of these entities. This page does not include all card companies or all available card offers.

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11 Helpful Tips for Nervous Flyers - from a Fellow Anxious Flyer

Love travelling but aren't exactly a fan of flying? Check out these practical tips you can use to help reduce anxiety and remain calm before and during your flight.

Published 4 September 2024

Keegan Oakes

I am a walking paradox. I am passionate about travelling and work in the travel industry - but I hate flying. I am not referring to mild discomfort at some stage of the flight. No. I mean that flying can be a panic-inducing experience for me. People often tell me that flying is statistically the safest form of transport and that I am not alone in the fear (estimates range from 8-16% of people), but that never helps the situation.

In the years since pandemic travel restrictions eased, I have taken on 18 different flights with the help of different strategies. If you are anything like me, check out these helpful tips to reduce anxiety and remain calm before and during your flight.

• Tell your Travel Expert
• Tell the airline ahead of time
• Pick an aisle or extra legroom seat
• Look after yourself before a flight
• Arrive at the airport ahead of time
• Book lounge access
• Bring water
• Tell the cabin crew
• Do something to distract yourself
• Download some 'fear of flying' material
• Take a fear of flying course

1) Tell your Travel Expert

When you’re ready to take the next step and opt to book a holiday through Flight Centre, our travel experts are there to ensure that you are taken care of each step of the way to make your journey as comfortable as possible. From a pep talk to notifying the airline on your behalf, your Travel Consultant will be there for you.

2) Tell the airline ahead of time

Another hack for nervous flyers is to speak to the airline directly. Ahead of a trip to Barcelona in May 2022 - my first flight since 2019 - my partner alerted the airline about my being a nervous flyer. They informed me of the Sunflower Lanyard, a scheme designed to alert staff at airports or onboard of hidden disabilities such as severe anxiety. Given the panic attack they witnessed me having beforehand, they could tell that I was a nervous flyer and did everything they could to make the process smoother. Whether you have a more extreme reaction or struggle internally with flying, the Sunflower Lanyard scheme is helpful - plus, it exists in the UK and abroad.

3) Pick an aisle or extra legroom seat

Fear of flying can be linked to claustrophobia in some instances. Feeling comfortable, being able to move freely and getting up easily without feeling constricted can make all the difference in-flight. So, be sure to ask your travel consultant for their flight recommendations and assistance with booking seats that ensure maximum comfort onboard .

4) Look after yourself before a flight

This might seem obvious, but on occasion, the pre-flight pint(s) might be a little too tempting to take the edge off the nerves. But realistically, you need to be taking care of yourself beforehand. In the days leading up to the flight, make sure you exercise regularly, eat healthily and stay hydrated as much as possible. This will give your body  a head start in ensuring your comfort on the flight.

5) Arrive at the airport ahead of time

Sometimes, the stress of flying can be because of creeping anxiety about missing the actual flight. With post-pandemic travel challenges such as staff shortages and delays at check-in, bag drop or security, the airport experience may not always be smooth. Additionally, airports can be intimidating places. As such, allow yourself plenty of time to overcome potential hurdles and enjoy a hassle-free experience. I personally aim for three hours before a longhaul flight, or two hours before a shorthaul flight. If it means browsing duty free for a while, so be it! At least it's less nerve-wracking than feeling rushed.

6) Book lounge access

So, the idea of browsing duty-free isn’t ticking your boxes? What about relaxing in the lounge beforehand instead? If it’s included in your ticket already, then amazing! But if it’s not, book yourself into many of the options available worldwide. Lounge access can give you a relaxing and peaceful start to your trip, with many including food, drinks, showers and quiet rooms to chill out. Considering that airports can be on the pricey side when it comes to food, drinks and other amenities, lounge access can provide more value for money. Speak to your Flight Centre expert about lounge recommendations to suit your travel needs.

7) Bring water

When I hit my mental panic button, drinking water helps me calm down. It regulates my breathing, curbs that dreaded "dry mouth, can’t swallow" sensation when I’m hyperventilating and provides comfort. My best tip is to have a refillable water bottle you can use whether you're airside or onboard - an absolute travel must-have ! Plus, it's a handy way to combat the dinky cups of water they tend to serve onboard nowadays.

8) Tell the cabin crew

The role of the cabin crew is to maintain the safety and comfort of the passengers on board - and that includes you. Some 10% of people have a form of flight-related anxiety, and crew can see hundreds of people per day. They know how to keep a passenger calm when they are frightened, and everything unusual to you is normal for them. I’ve flown British Airways, Virgin Atlantic, Virgin Australia, Asiana, Ryanair, Easyjet and Wizzair since May 2022 and every single airline has had outstanding staff who have been able to make sure I’m doing okay, and willingly go that extra mile to ensure the comfort of a fearful flyer. I’ve also gotten several free bottles of water (and sometimes something a little bit stronger) which beats the dinky cups mentioned above.

9) Do something to distract yourself

With seatback in-flight entertainment or wifi, it can be easy to distract yourself. However, not every airline offers that option, particularly on short-haul flights. Fortunately, we’re in a time where you can download entertainment onto your mobile phone or tablet, from music and podcasts to TV shows and movies. Alternatively, bring a novel, magazine, or even a crossword book and enjoy. I have fond memories of flying with my mom, trying to figure out one crossword or the other!   

10) Download some "fear of flying" material

Check out Lovefly, a platform that offers help and complimentary materials such as podcasts and newsletters for nervous flyers. There’s even a Facebook community where people give each other support and advice. Alternatively, conduct a simple Google search for other options out there.

11) Take a "Fear of Flying" course

If all else fails, book yourself on a Fear of Flying course. Airlines like British Airways  offer courses that include learning the technical side of flying. It ranges from how planes fly and what turbulence is, to learning more about a day in the life of a pilot and a talk from a psychologist who specialises in combating a fear of flying. The day typically ends with an experience flight where the team will help you apply everything you’ve learned during the day. It was the first time in 10 or so years that I hadn’t cried on a plane. Although not the cheapest option, my deciding factor was that enjoying travelling and not losing a day to complete mental exhaustion was priceless.

If you fly or have flown at any point while combating a fear of flying - well done! You have taken that first big step. Now it’s time for you to take the next step and keep going. You've got this - happy travelling!

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