Cruise line gift cards: Where to buy them, how to spend them

Gwen Pratesi

If you're racking your brain to come up with the perfect gift for your cruise-loving family member or friend, consider buying them a gift card or certificate from their favorite cruise line.

Cruisers will appreciate a gift they can use toward purchasing their cruise fare or splurging on a beverage package, specialty restaurant or spa treatment. Don't rule out the first-timers on your list; you can help them fund their first foray into cruising or surprise them with something extra to make their upcoming trip special.

If you're a cruiser, you may also want to purchase a gift card for yourself, especially when you can find a deal. AARP sometimes offers digital gift cards for cruise lines like Princess, Holland America, Celebrity and Royal Caribbean at a savings of up to 10%.

Gift cards purchased with Target's RedCard receive a 5% discount. You can also look for Black Friday sales on Disney gift cards at Sam's Club and other promotions offered through the cruise lines or retailers.

For cruise news, reviews and tips, sign up for TPG's cruise newsletter .

Not every cruise line offers gift cards, and some have alternative ways to help pay for a portion of someone else's vacation. However, if you're in the market for cruise line gift cards, read on to find out which seven lines offer them, where to buy them and how to use them.

Holland America Line

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Holland America offers gift cards in denominations between $5 and $2,000 that are available to buy on its website. You can either purchase a physical card to send enclosed with a personal message or choose a digital version that the recipient can open online with personalized audio and photos.

The line offers one or two sales a year that feature an added perk, such as a $100 bonus card with a $1,000 purchase.

You can use the cards to pay for cruise bookings, pre-cruise expenses or onboard charges covering specialty dining, beverages, shore excursions, spa treatments, gratuities and other purchases. They can also be used to buy Holland America's "Have It All" bundle, which includes a beverage package, shore excursion credit, Wi-Fi and specialty restaurant meals.

Holland America's gift cards are also available at online retailers, including Amazon, Target and Walmart, in preset amounts. Certain banks feature credit card programs where you can redeem points for the cruise line's gift cards. If you prefer to shop in person, you'll find gift cards in stores such as Target, Publix, Kroger and Giant Eagle.

Related: The 4 classes of Holland America ships, explained

Gift cards are only available in U.S. dollars. Gift cards are activated upon receipt, and they cannot be resold. In addition, buyers cannot purchase an aggregate amount exceeding $10,000 in one day.

Princess Cruises

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Princess Cruises also offers gift cards on its website in denominations between $5 and $2,000. Buyers can personalize the line's eGift Card with photos and audio for the recipient. Princess Classic Gift Cards arrive by mail, with free shipping on cards over $100. Expedited shipping is also available.

You can use Princess gift cards to pay for your cruise, including fares with the Princess Plus and Princess Premier all-inclusive packages .

Recipients can also settle part or all of their onboard bill with gift cards at the end of the cruise at the passenger services desk. That means gift cards can essentially pay for meals in specialty restaurants, shore excursions, spa treatments and other onboard splurges.

You cannot use the gift card to pay for land excursions as part of a cruisetour, flights booked through Princess or gratuities.

Related: The ultimate guide to Princess Cruises ships and itineraries

You can find Princess gift cards in grocery stores like Kroger, Harris Teeter and Giant Eagle and online at retail sites such as Amazon, Target and Best Buy.

Gift cards are only available to residents in the U.S. and Canada. Classic Gift Cards cannot be mailed to Canada, so Canadian residents should choose the eGift Card option.

Buyers are limited to a $10,000 online aggregate purchase in one day and a maximum of five transactions a day. Anyone can use the gift card since there's no name on the card.

Carnival Cruises

Carnival Cruise Line 's online gift cards are customizable from $100 up to $1,000. You can purchase a physical card that's mailed and even have it wrapped and delivered in a tin for an additional $1.99 (for up to five cards). If you prefer, you can choose an e-gift card that's sent to the recipient online.

The gift card can be used toward a cruise booking, pre-purchased shore excursions or spa treatments. You can also apply it to beverage packages and gratuities. If you'd like to use the card as an onboard credit, you must go to the guest services desk or Sail & Sign kiosk to apply the gift card as payment for your onboard bill once you're on the ship.

Related: Cruise onboard credit: What it is, where to get it and how best to use it

Carnival's gift cards are available in over 9,000 retail outlets, including Best Buy, Walmart, Kroger, Albertsons, Lowe's, Safeway, Winn-Dixie and Publix. You can also purchase gift cards on board Carnival's ships. You can buy as many cards as you'd like, but there is a maximum online transaction of five gift cards at one time.

All gift cards are in U.S. dollars and not accepted on ships using a different onboard currency. You can transfer the gift card to another user since there are no names on the cards.

Disney Cruise Line

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Gift cards for Disney Cruise Line are sold online at shopdisney.com in preset amounts, from $25 to $500. You can choose from over 60 Disney designs of physical gift cards and have them shipped, or you can send a themed eGift Card.

Gift cards are also sold at Walt Disney World Resort, Disneyland Resort and Disney retail locations throughout the U.S., Puerto Rico and Canada. If you're purchasing them in person, you can load them for any amount from $15 to $1,000. The cards are reloadable with as little as $5 and up to $1,000. They can be reloaded at any location that sells the gift cards. That option is not available online.

Related: 11 ways to save money on a Disney cruise

Use Disney gift cards to purchase a cruise, shore excursions, merchandise on the ship and other onboard expenses. You can also spend the cards at Disney-owned properties, like Disney's Vero Beach Resort; on trips or cruises with Adventures by Disney; for Disney on Broadway; and at retail stores and other Disney businesses.

You'll also find them in preset amounts at retailers like Target, Walmart and Best Buy.

Norwegian Cruise Line

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Norwegian Cruise Line ended its gift card program in 2021, but you still can send gifts to cruisers in the form of an onboard credit or spa credit. Onboard credit is available in $25 increments up to $100. Mandara Spa certificates are offered in amounts of $25, $50 and $100.

To send the gift, you'll need to know some personal information, including the birth date of the recipient or the reservation number for the booking. You can order the gift of onboard credits on Norwegian's website.

CruiseFirst certificates are another gift option. These advance purchase vouchers can be used to pay for cruises of six days or longer and are valued at double the price. For example, you'll pay $150 for a certificate worth $300. You can transfer these vouchers to another person as a gift without a charge.

You can purchase up to 10 certificates per person at a time, and they can only be applied to new reservations on voyages scheduled at least 120 days out from the purchase date of the certificate. Only one certificate can be used per sailing — and there are a few other restrictions. These vouchers expire within three years of the purchase date.

Royal Caribbean

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Royal Caribbean is another line that uses a gift certificate program rather than gift cards. Certificates are available in the following U.S. dollar increments: $50, $100, $250, $500, $1,000, $1,500, $1,700 and $2,000. These certificates must be redeemed at least 10 days before the cruise.

Use them to pay the cruise fare, with some restrictions, or apply them toward onboard credit to cover specialty dining, beverage packages, spa treatments, gift shop purchases and other items. If you want to apply the gift certificates as payment for expenses on the ship, you'll need to redeem them online 10 days before the sailing date. They cannot be used for government taxes, fees, gratuities or casino play.

Related: 35 Royal Caribbean cruise tips and tricks that will make your voyage better

Celebrity Cruises

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Celebrity Cruises has an online store where you can purchase onboard credit to celebrate someone's birthday, honeymoon, anniversary or other memorable occasion while on their cruise.

Gift certificates are available in $25 increments. These certificates can be purchased online if you know the recipient's reservation information, or you can call Celebrity's Store Customer Support team to place an order.

Note that gift cards cannot be used to pay shipboard charges, including gift shop purchases, casino debts, shore excursions or gratuities.

You can also give specialty dining certificates for $45 each. If the amount charged is less than that, the remaining sum will be applied to the passenger's onboard account.

Planning a cruise? Start with these stories:

  • The 5 most desirable cabin locations on any cruise ship
  • A beginners guide to picking a cruise line
  • The 8 worst cabin locations on any cruise ship
  • The ultimate guide to what to pack for a cruise
  • A quick guide to the most popular cruise lines
  • 21 tips and tricks that will make your cruise go smoothly
  • The top ways cruisers waste money
  • The ultimate guide to choosing a cruise ship cabin
  • Royal Caribbean International

Virtual Royal Caribbean Gift Card Experience

stephiek814

By stephiek814 , August 23, 2023 in Royal Caribbean International

Recommended Posts

Cool Cruiser

stephiek814

I received a virtual Royal Caribbean gift card for my Birthday. I tried to redeem online toward my sailing and it didn't work. I then called Royal Caribbean directly and they told me I had to email the information to  [email protected] . They also said it could take up to 10 business days for the gift card to be added to my balance and because of this they moved my final payment date out a week as a courtesy. This just all seems a little weird to me that I can only redeem this gift card by email and there is no way to get a hold of someone. Does anyone have any experience with this? The reviews I did read online weren't very positive so that makes me worry a bit more. Any help with this is appreciated. Thank you. 

Link to comment

Share on other sites.

megr1125

They're terrible.  And yes it takes a while to apply it and yes it has to be done on line.  

In the future, have people just give you cash or buy you OBC. Royal's electronic gift certificates are garbage and time consuming to use.  I wish they'd be like other cruise lines and have normal ones, and/or ways to add OBC directly on line as opposed to calling in.

13 minutes ago, megr1125 said: They're terrible.  And yes it takes a while to apply it and yes it has to be done on line.   In the future, have people just give you cash or buy you OBC. Royal's electronic gift certificates are garbage and time consuming to use.  I wish they'd be like other cruise lines and have normal ones, and/or ways to add OBC directly on line as opposed to calling in.

Thank you! Does it take more than 10 business days? I just want to make sure it doesn't run into my final payment date. The reviews I read say it took months and sometimes they still couldn't get a hold of anyone. 

Morecruisesplz

Morecruisesplz

1 hour ago, stephiek814 said: I received a virtual Royal Caribbean gift card for my Birthday. I tried to redeem online toward my sailing and it didn't work. I then called Royal Caribbean directly and they told me I had to email the information to  [email protected] . They also said it could take up to 10 business days for the gift card to be added to my balance and because of this they moved my final payment date out a week as a courtesy. This just all seems a little weird to me that I can only redeem this gift card by email and there is no way to get a hold of someone. Does anyone have any experience with this? The reviews I did read online weren't very positive so that makes me worry a bit more. Any help with this is appreciated. Thank you. 

We threw ours away after spending way to much time trying to use it. 

Sounds like you got one that was purchased through AARP, and not directly from RCL. When I applied mine in March, I think it only took a few days, but I sent them  before final payment date

This is from the terms and conditions

STEP 2 Redeem Certificate

After making your cruise reservation, email a copy of the Gift Certificate along with your cruise reservation booking number to [email protected]. The value of the Gift Certificate will then be applied to your cruise reservation. Please allow up to 10 business days. You will be notified once the certificate has been applied to your reservation.

However, recently this notice was added:

Have questions about your Royal Caribbean gift card? Call Royal Caribbean Customer Support: 

866-504-3941 for immediate assistance including card transactions and application of gift cards towards reservations.

I guess the phone reps didn't get the memo on how to apply these

Like

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in

  • Welcome to Cruise Critic
  • ANNOUNCEMENT: Set Sail Beyond the Ordinary with Oceania Cruises
  • ANNOUNCEMENT: The Widest View in the Whole Wide World
  • New Cruisers
  • Cruise Lines “A – O”
  • Cruise Lines “P – Z”
  • River Cruising
  • Cruise Critic News & Features
  • Digital Photography & Cruise Technology
  • Special Interest Cruising
  • Cruise Discussion Topics
  • UK Cruising
  • Australia & New Zealand Cruisers
  • Canadian Cruisers
  • North American Homeports
  • Ports of Call
  • Cruise Conversations

Announcements

  • New to Cruise Critic? Join our Community!

Write Your Own Amazing Review !

WAR_icy_SUPERstar777.jpg

Click this gorgeous photo by member SUPERstar777 to share your review!

Features & News

LauraS

LauraS · Started 1 hour ago

LauraS · Started 12 hours ago

LauraS · Started 20 hours ago

LauraS · Started Sunday at 09:09 PM

Feeling blue.

  • Existing user? Sign in OR Create an Account
  • Find Your Roll Call
  • Meet & Mingle
  • Community Help Center
  • All Activity
  • Member Photo Albums
  • Meet & Mingle Photos
  • Favorite Cruise Memories
  • Cruise Food Photos
  • Cruise Ship Photos
  • Ports of Call Photos
  • Towel Animal Photos
  • Amazing, Funny & Totally Awesome Cruise Photos
  • Write a Review
  • Live Cruise Reports
  • Member Cruise Reviews
  • Create New...
  • Port Overview
  • Transportation to the Port
  • Uber & Lyft to the Port
  • Dropping Off at the Port
  • Cruise Parking
  • Cruise Hotels
  • Hotels with Parking Deals
  • Uber & Lyft to the Ports
  • Things to Do
  • Cozumel Taxi Rates
  • Free Things to Do
  • Restaurants Near the Cruise Port
  • Hotels & Resorts With Day Passes
  • Closest Beaches to the Cruise Port
  • Tips For Visiting
  • Shore Excursions
  • Cruise Parking Discounts
  • Hotels with Shuttles
  • Which Airport Should I Use?
  • Transportation to the Ports
  • Dropping Off at the Ports
  • Fort Lauderdale Airport to Miami
  • Inexpensive Hotels
  • Hotels near the Port
  • Hotels With Shuttles
  • Budget Hotels
  • Carnival Tips
  • Drink Packages
  • Specialty Restaurants
  • Faster to the Fun
  • More Articles
  • CocoCay Tips
  • Norwegian Tips
  • Great Stirrup Cay
  • Harvest Caye
  • How to Get the Best Cruise Deal
  • Best Time to Book a Cruise
  • Best Websites to Book a Cruise
  • Cruises Under $300
  • Cruises Under $500
  • Spring Break Cruise Deals
  • Summer Cruise Deals
  • Alaskan Cruise Deals
  • 107 Cruise Secrets & Tips
  • Tips for First-Time Cruisers
  • What to Pack for a Cruise
  • What to Pack (Alaska)
  • Packing Checklist
  • Cruising with Kids
  • Passports & Birth Certificates
  • Bringing Alcohol
  • Cruising with a Disability
  • Duty-Free Shopping
  • Cruise Travel Insurance
  • Things to Do on a Cruise Ship
  • What Not to Do on a Ship
  • News & Articles

Cruzely.com | Everything Cruising

Everything About Buying Discount Cruise Gift Cards via AARP (Carnival, Royal Caribbean, & More)

There’s a way that you can purchase gift cards for Carnival, Royal Caribbean, Princess, and other cruise lines… all for a sharp 10% discount off their face value. This deal means you can save potentially hundreds of dollars off your next cruise.

That may sound too good to be true, but the offer is available through AARP, the popular senior interest group. There’s no catch or hoops to jump through, apart from being a member.

Even better, before you think you have to be an older American to join up and get these savings on cruise gift cards, membership is open to anyone . That means you can save no matter your age.

Still, there are some details you should know. That’s why we recently signed up for the AARP program ourselves to see exactly how things work. Here is how to sign up, purchase cards, and take advantage of the savings…

Overview of the AARP Cruise Gift Card Program

First things first, what exactly is the deal offered by AARP?

As an interest group with tens of millions of members across the country, AARP is known for its influence. For members, it also offers a number of benefits and perks.

The group’s website includes everything from insurance plans to car buying programs to credit cards to literature about topics in aging. But the site also has what it calls “AARP Rewards.”

Here, the group offers all sorts of deals from discounted magazine subscriptions to book deals to sweepstakes entries. One of the biggest groups of deals, however, is dedicated to discounted gift cards.

You’ll find specials for gift cards entailing everything from restaurants to grocery stores. All of them offer a discount off the face value. For instance, there are $25 gift cards to movie theater chain AMC for $23 — about 8% off the face value.

Of all those discounts, it’s the cruise gift cards that seem to offer some of the best deals. Here, the cards are 10% off the face value . Given the cost of a cruise, that can save you potentially hundreds of dollars.

What Cruise Line Gift Cards Are Available?

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

At the time of this article, there are a total of five different cruise lines with gift cards available via AARP. The available lines include:

  • Royal Caribbean
  • Celebrity Cruises
  • Holland America

Combined, these lines represent close to 100 cruise ships offering trips just about anywhere in the world. In other words, no matter if you want to sail the Caribbean or Australia, the Mediterranean or Alaska, you can do it while saving some serious money.

What Sort of Discount is Offered?

At the time of this writing, each cruise line on the AARP list of offers had two denominations of cards offered: $100 and $500.

Each card is offered at a 10% discount. So the $100 gift cards sell for $90 via AARP and the $500 cards sell for $450 .

So if you were to purchase a cruise costing $2,500, you could buy five of these cards for $2,250, saving yourself $250 off the purchase.

Do I Have to Be an AARP Member to Buy?

Of the five different cruise lines that have gift cards on the AARP website, three of them — Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Celebrity — specifically state they are for “Members Only.” Princess and Holland America don’t make that distinction.

However, when we tried to register for a free AARP account, we repeatedly reached an error page. When we went ahead and joined as paying members (the charge is just $12 a year), we were able to sign-up with no issue. Once signed up, we were able to access all the gift cards available.

I’m Not Over 50 Years Old. Does That Mean I Can’t Get the Discount?

No! While AARP is known for being an interest group for older Americans, anyone can join, no matter their age. We were personally able to sign up for a membership and then access all the gift cards with no issue despite being under 50 years old.

Where Do I Go to Buy the Gift Cards?

So where exactly do you go to get your card? If you don’t yet have an AARP account, first you’ll need to register. If you sign up, expect a $12 per year charge. That’s a small price to pay for the ability to save up to 10% off your cruise.

If you’re already registered with AARP, follow these steps to find the gift cards:

  • Visit AARP.org
  • Click “AARP Rewards” in the menu at the top
  • Click “Login” at the top right of the next page and then enter your email/password
  • Once signed in, look for the drop down menu on the Rewards page. Select “Redeem” and then “All Rewards”
  • Scroll down until you see the heading “All Rewards”. Enter “cruise” in the search box to bring up all the discounted cruise gift cards

We’ll admit that it was a little confusing on how to find the discounted cruise gift cards at first. When creating a new account like we did, we suggest that once you register, go ahead and sign out, then close your browser. Then re-open the browser and sign back into AARP. When we signed up, it seemed to not recognize our new account at first.

Is There a Limit on How Many I Can Buy?

Yes. Each gift card will come with restrictions on how many are able to be purchased at once. The “Premium” items like Carnival gift cards had a limit of 25 per month. The non-premium cards had a lower limit of just five gift cards per month.

If you are headed on an expensive cruise, it may be that you have to purchase over multiple months to get all the gift cards you need.

Are There Special Restrictions on Using the Cards?

Before you buy the cruise cards, you’ll definitely want to read through all the fine print that’s provided on the AARP website about their use. Each cruise line seems to have different rules regarding usage.

For instance, Royal Caribbean only allows you to use the card for a new reservation. And you have to book the cruise, pay a deposit, and then email in a copy of the gift certificate to apply to your remaining balance.

Lines like Princess and Carnival are more lenient on when and where you can use the card, but it’s still smart to understand the rules about the cards before buying. You can find the terms on the AARP site before purchasing.

Can I Use These Cards For Myself?

Absolutely. Like other gift cards, the cruise cards don’t have anyone’s name attached. You can use them like cash. So if you want to buy them as a gift for someone, you can do that. Or if you have a cruise coming up and want to use the discount to save money, you can do that too.

Are the Gift Cards Physical or Digital?

If you’re wanting to purchase these as a gift, then you should know that the discounted cards are actually digital. According to the fine print on AARP, each of these is “fulfilled as a digital gift code.”

So you should receive the card via email.

Are the AARP Discount Cruise Cards a Good Deal?

If you’re looking for a deal, it doesn’t get much better than this. With no strings attached, hoops to jump through, or other headaches, you can essentially get 10% off the cost of your cruise by buying these gift certificates and then using them to pay for the trip. So a $2,000 cruise becomes $1,800 just with buying the cards through AARP.

And since you can still shop around and buy your cruise how and when you want, you can buy the cards, and then wait for a deal that looks good to you. The only difference is instead of paying full price, you get a discount.

If you plan to cruise one of the lines offering the cards, we see no reason not to take advantage.

More on Saving on a Cruise:

  • The Best Websites to Book a Cruise

10 Rules to Getting the Best Deal on a Cruise

  • The Best Time to Book a Cruise (Save Money, Better Cabins)

Popular: 39 Useful Things to Pack (17 You Wouldn't Think Of)

Read next: park & cruise hotels for every port in america, popular: 107 best cruise tips, secrets, tricks, and freebies, related articles more from author, 107 best cruise tips, tricks, secrets, and freebies, what’s the best length of time for a cruise, why cheap cruises are dead (for right now), answered: what’s the cheapest time to take a cruise, which cruise line should i sail the definitive guide for 2024.

I have done this for 4 Carnival cruises. It works great. I had no problem purchasing them and redeeming them when booking my cruise. I used USAA travel service to book all of my cruises and they accepted my carnival gift cards over the phone for payment. I saved 10% and it was easy.

On your payment page click on gift card, enter the card number, the pin and the amount you want applied to the card. I have done this multiple times. Good luck and happy cruising.

Unfortunately, the discount for the Princess Cruises gift card has gone from 10% to 8%. I asked AARP about this, and they said that the discount amount is up to Princess, not AARP.

Travel insurance will not reimburse payment towards a cryise paid with a gift card should you need to cancel for any reason.

No place to add gift card online for payment. Called gift card #, they can’t add it no place on cruise personalizer. So exactly hiw are yiu redeeming Princess gift for cruise payment.

AARP Rewards (and thus access to gift cards) is only available to US residents. Wish I’d known this before joining AARP (which you can do as a Canadian).

Go online and chat. I just did it and cancelled my membership and got reimbursed. Same problem you had.

Warning: The AARP site does not support Safari, only Chrome. Mac users, I just saved you half an hour, you’re welcome. I left them lots of feedback.

how do i get a gift card

LEAVE A REPLY Cancel reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

One of the World’s Largest Cruise Ships That Nobody Is Talking About (Yet)

10 major differences between royal caribbean and norwegian cruise line (ncl), 7 easy ways to get from the airport to the miami cruise port, hotels with cruise shuttles for every major port in america, 39 useful things to pack for your cruise (including 17 you’d never think of).

  • Privacy Policy
  • Terms & Conditions

Looking for more information about Events at Sea? Click here.

Royal Caribbean | Incentives

MEETINGS & INCENTIVES

THE ULTIMATE EVENT DESTINATION

Royal Incentive Rewards

  • Onboard Experience
  • Event Customization
  • Ship Charters
  • Individual Rewards
  • Planning Tools

ROYAL INCENTIVE REWARDS

Individual cruise certificate program.

Recognize, Inspire, Motivate with an unforgettable reward!

What an amazing way to tell someone you value their loyalty, productivity or achievement. Reward them with a Royal Caribbean cruise certificate! Extraordinary onboard experience, delectable dining, luxurious accommodations, coupled with a selection of itinerary choices to some of the world’s most popular and beautiful destinations.

Here are six great reasons why a Royal Caribbean cruise certificate is the perfect individual incentive reward:

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

The rewards program is turnkey, so we look after the fulfillment and redemption.

Personalized

We offer a wide variety of certificates – something for every budget!

There is no minimum or maximum purchase of certificates required.

There’s no expiration date – your certificate will always hold its value.

Customizable

Certificates are fully transferrable and upgradable.

All-inclusive

Everything is included, from accommodations to dining to activities.

ADD ROYAL CRUISE DOLLARS FOR AN EVEN BIGGER BONUS

Every Royal Incentive Rewards Certificate comes with the option to add Royal Cruise Dollars. You choose the amount. They spend on special extras that will make their cruise vacation even more enjoyable.

Sunset Cruise

See how easy it is to motivate and inspire with the Royal Incentive Rewards program.

Royal Promenade

Pricing Chart

Recognizes individuality, and rewards it accordingly. Individual incentive travel gives recipients the freedom to go where they want, when they want and with whomever they want.

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Sample Certificate

Individual Cruise Certificates are the perfect way to recognize outstanding performance.

Aqua Theatre romance

Make the Experience More Rewarding with Royal Cruise Dollars

Add Royal Cruise Dollars to a Royal Incentive Rewards Certificate. You choose the amount. These dollars can be used in any number of ways.

Purchase Royal Incentive Rewards Cruise Certificates:

Find your perfect venue, frequently asked questions.

Have a question? Let us help you get started planning:

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Start Planning

  • Credit cards
  • View all credit cards
  • Banking guide
  • Loans guide
  • Insurance guide
  • Personal finance
  • View all personal finance
  • Small business
  • Small business guide
  • View all taxes

You’re our first priority. Every time.

We believe everyone should be able to make financial decisions with confidence. And while our site doesn’t feature every company or financial product available on the market, we’re proud that the guidance we offer, the information we provide and the tools we create are objective, independent, straightforward — and free.

So how do we make money? Our partners compensate us. This may influence which products we review and write about (and where those products appear on the site), but it in no way affects our recommendations or advice, which are grounded in thousands of hours of research. Our partners cannot pay us to guarantee favorable reviews of their products or services. Here is a list of our partners .

Royal Caribbean’s Crown and Anchor Society: The Complete Guide

Ramsey Qubein

Many or all of the products featured here are from our partners who compensate us. This influences which products we write about and where and how the product appears on a page. However, this does not influence our evaluations. Our opinions are our own. Here is a list of our partners and here's how we make money .

Royal Caribbean Cruise Line has some of the largest ships at sea. The company sails around the globe, offering itineraries for all interests and a handful of world cruises that can last several months.

Similar to airline and hotel brands, cruise lines also have loyalty programs, and Royal Caribbean is no exception. Its Crown and Anchor Society rewards repeat cruisers interested in maximizing their onboard perks. Here’s what you need to know about the loyalty program and why “It pays to be loyal to Royal" as the cruise line says.

How do you earn points for Royal Caribbean’s Crown and Anchor Society?

After completing your first cruise, you will earn points every time you sail with Royal Caribbean, accruing one point for each night you’re on board. You'll earn double points per night if you stay in a suite. The more points you earn, the higher your elite status.

Note that elite status earning requirements are based on lifetime point accrual — not a calendar year like most other loyalty programs.

Don't worry if you forget to sign up; taking your first cruise automatically enrolls you in the program. However, you will need to create a Crown and Anchor login to view your online account, which will help you keep track of the points you earn.

» Learn more: The best ways to book a cruise

Can you earn points with a Royal Caribbean credit card?

Even though Royal Caribbean has its own co-branded credit card , you can’t use it to help you reach Crown and Anchor elite status. Instead, the points you earn by spending with the card can be used to enhance your cruise experience.

You can redeem points for onboard credits, cruise discounts, room upgrades and companion fares. The only way to earn points toward Crown and Anchor elite status is by sailing on a cruise.

» Learn more: Best credit cards for cruises

Crown and Anchor Society elite status levels

There are six elite status levels in the Crown and Anchor loyalty program. As an added benefit for those who cruise with their family, children younger than 18 automatically hold the same status as their parents (with the exception of the Pinnacle Club tier).

Here’s what you can expect to receive at each tier of the Crown and Anchor Society.

Gold is the first elite status tier, which you'll reach after earning 3 points. As a Gold member, you receive:

A newsletter with advance notice of new ships, itineraries and special deals.

Exclusive rates on some sailings and itineraries.

Access to a private lounge with continental breakfast before departure.

One additional cruise point for each night when paying a single rate in a double occupancy stateroom.

Discounts on Wi-Fi, spa, food and beverage options.

Platinum is the next elite status, which members reach after accruing 30 points as a member. In addition to all of the Gold perks, as a Platinum member, you’ll receive:

Exclusive rates on balcony and suite staterooms.

Reciprocal status with Celebrity Cruises Captain’s Club.

A special onboard event on sailings five nights or longer.

Robes in the cabin.

Laundry discounts.

» Learn more: Tips for getting the best deal on your next cruise

Once you reach 55 points, you move to the Emerald tier, which provides all the perks of Gold and Platinum plus these additional things:

Welcome water in your stateroom (two bottles per adult).

Lapel pin to recognize your Emerald status.

Now you’re starting to crack the code on special perks with Royal Caribbean. Once you earn 80 points, you reach the Diamond level and receive the benefits of all the lower status tiers plus these extras:

Chef’s choice welcome gift on sailings five nights or longer.

Four complimentary drinks per day.

Priority waitlist for shore excursions and spa appointments.

Access to the Crown or Silver lounge with complimentary snacks and nightly happy hour.

Priority waitlist for preferred seats in the main dining room.

Four daily complimentary nonalcoholic drinks for kids.

One day of free Wi-Fi.

Plus, a commemorative crystal block is awarded when you accrue 140 points and again for every 70 points afterward.

Diamond Plus

The Diamond Plus level is for serious cruisers since it kicks in once you’ve earned 175 points. It comes with all the perks of the lower tiers as well as these benefits:

Dedicated call center for reservations.

Choice of a special in-room amenity, such as wine, strawberries or cheese plate.

Five complimentary drinks per day.

Deluxe beverage package discounts.

Priority seating at entertainment venues (theater, Ice show and AquaTheater).

Two days of free Wi-Fi.

One free laundry service on sailings five nights or longer.

Complimentary add-on spa treatment. 

Five daily complimentary nonalcoholic drinks for kids.

Although still in the same elite tier, for members who have earned at least 340 points, there are even more benefits:

Lunch and wine with an officer on sailings seven nights or longer.

Upgraded bathroom toiletries.

Reduced single supplement cruise fare.

» Learn more: How to plan a cruise in 6 steps

Pinnacle Club

Once you accrue 700 points, you’re awarded Pinnacle Club status. This is the highest tier you can earn, and it includes all of the benefits of the lower tiers plus:

Specialty dining discounts, exclusive daily breakfast and access to a private restaurant.

Free Wi-Fi for one device for the entire sailing.

Six complimentary drinks per day.

Personalized lapel pin.

Complimentary cruise.

Another complimentary cruise for each additional 350 cruise points earned.

Six daily complimentary nonalcoholic drinks for kids.

The free cruises are a great bonus, and the first two cruises earned (at 700 and 1,050 points) are eligible for a balcony stateroom on a seven-night Caribbean sailing. You can also choose to redeem a $2,400 credit toward another cruise. The cruise must be taken within one year of earning it, and the ship must have been sailing for at least one year.

Any additional complimentary cruises earned can be redeemed for a junior suite stateroom on a seven-night Caribbean sailing or as a voucher for $3,200 on any other sailing. They’re not valid during the holidays or peak summer months, and the member has to pay taxes, fees and port surcharges.

Are there any Crown and Anchor partner benefits?

There are several partner perks that Crown and Anchor Society members can take advantage of when they’re not sailing. Here’s what you can expect:

Hertz Gold Plus Rewards

Go immediately to the car without stopping by the counter at certain locations.

Choose cars from the Gold Plus area at select locations.

MGM Rewards

MGM elite tier status match.

Celebrity Cruises

Elite tier status match (for Crown and Anchor Platinum level and higher).

» Learn more: How Norwegian and Royal Caribbean cruise lines differ

Is it worth joining the Crown and Anchor Society?

When sailing with Royal Caribbean, it is worth joining the loyalty program — after all, you’re automatically enrolled after your first cruise. Once you reach elite status, you’ll enjoy plenty of perks, which increase the more you sail.

After reaching Platinum level, you’ll enjoy elite status perks on Celebrity cruises. While you can’t spend your way to elite status with the Royal Caribbean credit card, using it can provide discounts on your next cruise. And any time you sail, you can get closer to the next tier of the Crown and Anchor Society program.

How to maximize your rewards

You want a travel credit card that prioritizes what’s important to you. Here are our picks for the best travel credit cards of 2024 , including those best for:

Flexibility, point transfers and a large bonus: Chase Sapphire Preferred® Card

No annual fee: Bank of America® Travel Rewards credit card

Flat-rate travel rewards: Capital One Venture Rewards Credit Card

Bonus travel rewards and high-end perks: Chase Sapphire Reserve®

Luxury perks: The Platinum Card® from American Express

Business travelers: Ink Business Preferred® Credit Card

Chase Sapphire Preferred Credit Card

on Chase's website

1x-5x 5x on travel purchased through Chase Travel℠, 3x on dining, select streaming services and online groceries, 2x on all other travel purchases, 1x on all other purchases.

60,000 Earn 60,000 bonus points after you spend $4,000 on purchases in the first 3 months from account opening. That's $750 when you redeem through Chase Travel℠.

Bank of America® Premium Rewards® Credit Card

on Bank of America's website

1.5x-2x Earn unlimited 2 points for every $1 spent on travel and dining purchases and unlimited 1.5 points for every $1 spent on all other purchases.

60,000 Receive 60,000 online bonus points - a $600 value - after you make at least $4,000 in purchases in the first 90 days of account opening.

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

  • Favorites & Watchlist Find a Cruise Cruise Deals Cruise Ships Destinations Manage My Cruise​ FAQ Perfect Day at CocoCay Weekend Cruises Crown & Anchor Society Cruising Guides Gift Cards Contact Us Royal Caribbean Group
  • Back to Main Menu
  • Search Cruises " id="rciHeaderSideNavSubmenu-2-1" class="headerSidenav__link" href="/cruises" target="_self"> Search Cruises
  • Cruise Deals
  • Weekend Cruises
  • Last Minute Cruises
  • Family Cruises​
  • 2024-2025 Cruises
  • All Cruise Ships " id="rciHeaderSideNavSubmenu-4-1" class="headerSidenav__link" href="/cruise-ships" target="_self"> All Cruise Ships
  • Cruise Dining
  • Onboard Activities
  • Cruise Rooms
  • The Cruise Experience
  • All Cruise Destinations " id="rciHeaderSideNavSubmenu-5-1" class="headerSidenav__link" href="/cruise-destinations" target="_self"> All Cruise Destinations
  • Cruise Ports
  • Shore Excursions
  • Perfect Day at CocoCay
  • Caribbean Cruises
  • Bahamas Cruises​
  • Alaska Cruises
  • European Cruises​
  • Mediterranean Cruises​
  • Cruise Planner
  • Book a Flight
  • Book a Hotel
  • Check-In for My Cruise
  • Required Travel Documents
  • Make a Payment
  • Redeem Cruise Credit
  • Update Guest Information
  • Beverage Packages​
  • Dining Packages​
  • Shore Excursions​
  • Transportation
  • Royal Gifts
  • All FAQs " id="rciHeaderSideNavSubmenu-7-1" class="headerSidenav__link" href="/faq" target="_self"> All FAQs
  • Boarding Requirements
  • Future Cruise Credit​
  • Travel Documents​
  • Check-in​ & Boarding Pass
  • Transportation​
  • Perfect Day at CocoCay​
  • Post-Cruise Inquiries
  • Royal Caribbean
  • Celebrity Cruises

make a wish assets make a wish royal caribbean captains bridge steering crop sailing low

Make-A-Wish

Wishes at sea, making a wish and a difference.

Royal Caribbean ® is proud to partner with Make-A-Wish ® — an incredible organization granting the wishes of children with critical illnesses. Every penny collected across our fleet goes directly to Make-A-Wish. No donation is too small. And when it comes to these deserving children and their families, we can turn wishful thinking into steadfast believing.

make a donation

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

makiNG WISHES COME TRUE

 Every wish kid and their immediate family receives a free room onboard.

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

reiGNITE HOPE

We grant wishes that fuel kids with the strength to fight critical illness.

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

CREATE BOLDER FAMILY BONDS

Let’s transform the lives of children, their families and their communities.

EXPLORE MORE

Icon of the Seas Aerial During Day at Sea

Previewing: Promo Dashboard Campaigns

My Personas

Code: ∅.

royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

Royal Caribbean food: The ultimate cruise guide to restaurants and dining on board

C ruise food and cruise fun go hand-in-hand. Gone are the days when your only food choices were a main dining room and a buffet venue. Royal Caribbean ships are loaded with options — some that are included in your cruise fare and some that cost extra. From the largest ship in the fleet to the smallest, the choices are mind-blowing — especially for new-to-Royal cruisers.

But even if you've sailed with Royal Caribbean in the past, you need a food guide to keep up with what's available on which ship. Sometimes, you want to repeat a dining experience you had on a previous cruise. Other times, you'd prefer to try a new eatery. Knowing which food choices a ship has might impact which ship you pick.

For cruise news, reviews and tips, sign up for TPG's cruise newsletter .

Good examples are the Italian restaurants across the fleet. Do you know the difference between Giovanni's Table and Giovanni's Kitchen? How do the Jamie's Italian restaurants stack up to either of the Giovanni's? And do you know which ship is the only one in the fleet without an Italian restaurant? (Answer: Enchantment of the Seas.) I don't know about you, but I've gotta get my pasta fix when I cruise.

Then there are Royal Caribbean's food secrets. Okay, maybe they aren't actual secrets, but there are things to eat on board that aren't highly publicized. You need to be in the know to seek them out.

Let's start with a list of all the places you can snag a bite, and which ships they are found on. After that, I'll run through some of the most frequently asked questions about Royal Caribbean food.

150 Central Park

Fixed price; dinner

150 Central Park serves six-course dinners featuring meat, seafood and vegetarian dishes accompanied by produce that is "locally sourced" and harvested at peak flavor. Menu examples include beef tenderloin, halibut, venison and cauliflower steak. The location in the Central Park neighborhood , surrounded by live plants, adds an ambience not found on most cruise ships.

Available on: Allure , Harmony, Oasis, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Aquadome Market

Included; all-day dining

Icon of the Seas introduces a five-station food hall serving five types of mac and cheese, Asian and Mediterranean bowls, salads and sandwiches and custom crepes. It's located adjacent to the AquaDome, and its long hours means you can grab a bite before or after an acrobatic AquaTheater show.

Available on: Icon of the Seas

Included and a la carte options; all-day dining

Basecamp is a fast-casual snackery within the Thrill Island neighborhood. Things like hot dogs and warm pretzels are complimentary, while comfort food options like burgers, cheese curds and chicken waffle bites cost extra. Covered outdoor seating is available.

Boardwalk Donuts

Included; snacks

Freshly topped and decorated doughnuts line the glass cases at this one-of-a-kind restaurant. It makes a fun spot to snag an early morning pre-breakfast bite.

Available on: Allure of the Seas

Cafe @Two70

Just outside the entrance to the Two70 entertainment space, this eatery often goes unnoticed by many cruisers. It's an ideal spot to grab a sandwich or a bowl of the day's soup. Breakfast goodies include pastries and even burritos — perfect before you dash out on your day's adventures.

Available on: Anthem, Odyssey , Ovation, Quantum, Spectrum of the Seas

Related: The ultimate guide to Royal Caribbean cruise ships and itineraries

Cafe Latte-tudes

Included and a la carte; snacks

This is the in-house specialty coffee hot spot on the line's smaller ships. Coffee drinks cost extra but are included in beverage packages; cookies, bite-sized pastries and even sandwiches are complimentary. Some ships also have a nearby ice cream parlor with scoops and cones available for purchase.

Available on: Brilliance, Enchantment, Grandeur , Jewel, Radiance, Rhapsody, Serenade, Vision of the Seas

Cafe Promenade

Similar to Cafe Latte-tudes, Cafe Promenade is exactly what it sounds like — a coffee counter with grab-and-go snacks. Specialty coffees and teas cost extra, and most snacks are complimentary, though a few fancier options are extra-fee. Some ships also have a drink station nearby serving the usual array of complimentary hot and cold beverages like tea, lemonade and drip coffee.

Available on: Adventure, Allure, Anthem, Explorer, Freedom, Harmony, Independence , Liberty, Mariner, Navigator, Oasis, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Symphony, Utopia, Voyager, Wonder of the Seas

Celebration Table

Want to host your own dinner party onboard? Reserve this private dining room for 12 and enjoy a catered meal featuring a fixed-price menu of American, Italian, Asian or seafood dishes. It's located inside Hooked Seafood in the AquaDome neighborhood.

Chef's Table

Most ships in the fleet offer a Chef's Table experience on select nights of select sailings. Reservations are required for a private gourmet dinner with wine pairing hosted by a chef and sommelier for a small group. It is a night and a meal you will remember.

Available on: Adventure, Allure, Anthem, Brilliance, Enchantment, Explorer, Freedom, Grandeur, Harmony, Independence, Jewel, Liberty, Mariner, Navigator, Oasis, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Radiance, Rhapsody, Serenade, Spectrum, Utopia, Vision, Voyager, Wonder of the Seas

Chops Grille

Fixed price; dinner plus lunch on sea days

Royal Caribbean's specialty steakhouse is available fleetwide. The Chops Grille menu leans heavily toward prime beef cuts, but also includes chicken, lamb and seafood. The atmosphere is warm and relaxed, and the food delicious. Sides are served family style, and you'll want to try several.

Available on: Adventure, Allure, Anthem, Brilliance, Enchantment, Explorer, Freedom, Grandeur, Harmony, Icon, Independence, Jewel, Liberty, Mariner, Navigator, Oasis, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Radiance, Rhapsody, Serenade, Spectrum, Symphony, Utopia, Vision, Voyager, Wonder of the Seas

Coastal Kitchen

Included; breakfast, lunch and dinner

Coastal Kitchen is a restaurant exclusive to suite guests and upper-tier members of Royal Caribbean's Crown and Anchor loyalty program . Though it's styled like a main dining room, serving three meals a day with menus that change daily, the experience is on par with specialty dining, both in service and food quality. It's an ideal alternative to the main dining room for those who are eligible to dine here.

Star and Sky Class suite guests can dine in Coastal Kitchen for breakfast, lunch and dinner; Sea Class suite guests can come for dinner if space is available. Pinnacle-level loyalty members can also eat here at any mealtime, space permitting.

Available on: Allure, Anthem, Harmony, Icon, Oasis, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Cupcake Cupboard

A la carte; hours vary

The name of this sweet treat eatery tells you almost everything you need to know. Stop by for extra-fee cupcakes when you're craving sugar. Alternatively, look for decorating classes to join and cupcake kits to purchase, so you have everything you need to return home and bake your own goodies.

Available on: Freedom and Liberty of the Seas

Desserted Milkshake Bar

A la carte; snacks

Here's an idea that's long overdue on a cruise ship – custom milkshakes overflowing with sweet treats like brownies, cookies and popcorn. Adults can upgrade to boozy versions.

Dining Room

Included; breakfast, lunch (sea days) and dinner

The main dining rooms can get a little confusing on a fleet as varied as Royal Caribbean's. Most ships have one large, multideck dining space that serves complimentary meals, but the venue's name varies by ship. Quantum Class ships have four separate dining rooms, each with a different name.

On all ships, one deck or area is reserved for guests with assigned early and late dining times, with the remaining area set aside for those participating in the flexible My Time Dining plan. All guests order from the same menus, which are standard for breakfast daily and change each day for lunch (when it's open) and dinner.

Available on: All ships

Related: Royal Caribbean cruise ship classes, explained

Included; hours may vary

If gourmet hot dogs topped the way you want them is your idea of the perfect lunch or snack, pop in at the Dog House. There are too many choices to try them all on a single cruise.

Available on: Allure, Anthem, Harmony, Mariner, Oasis, Ovation, Quantum, Radiance, Spectrum, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

El Loco Fresh

From breakfast burritos to heaps of nachos and cheesy quesadillas, this Mexican-themed eatery is a quick and filling spot to grab a bite during the day. Pool wear is allowed since this is basically an outdoor restaurant. On four ships, it's located near the pool. The five Oasis Class ships with an El Loco Fresh have it closer to the sports court than the pool, but on all ships, eating here can save you from having to get dressed to go inside for food at the Windjammer.

Available on: Allure (Wipe Out Cafe), Freedom, Icon, Navigator, Oasis, Odyssey, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Empire Supper Club

When Royal Caribbean says "dinner and a show," the line really means it. This intimate, multicourse dinner features live jazz performances and drink pairings. The experience is one of a kind, but the cover charge for dinner is one of the highest at sea.

English Pub

When I mentioned "secret food," the English pubs were what I had in mind. The pubs on each ship have different names, but the atmosphere is always warm and welcoming. Not every pub serves snacks, but definitely ask if you don't see a food menu. What you find to munch on might turn out to be one of the highlights of your cruise. Smoked cheddar ale soup and deep-fried apple pie with Nutella are top of mind for me.

Available on: Adventure, Allure, Anthem, Brilliance, Explorer, Freedom, Harmony, Icon, Independence, Liberty, Mariner, Navigator, Oasis, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Radiance, Serenade, Star, Symphony, Utopia, Voyager, Wonder of the Seas

Fish & Ships

Included and a la carte; lunch

Grab a basket of deep-fried deliciousness (fish, shrimp and chicken) near the pool for a quick lunch or a snack between afternoon activities. Only the lobster tails cost extra.

Available on: Independence and Ovation of the Seas

Giovanni's Italian Kitchen

Fixed price; lunch (select days) and dinner

From a prime cut filet mignon to pizza, Royal Caribbean's second generation of its classic Italian food restaurant serves up an excellent meal. The service is always gracious and the portions generous.

Available on: Freedom, Icon, Odyssey, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Giovanni's Table

Royal Caribbean's original Italian restaurants feature a traditional mix of pastas and meat or seafood entrees. The differences between the two Giovanni's are subtle. Lasagna and pizza are available at the Kitchen, but not at the Table. The best eggplant parm I've ever had is only available at Giovanni's Table, as is a gigantic platter of osso buco.

Available on: Adventure, Allure, Brilliance, Explorer, Grandeur, Independence, Jewel, Liberty, Oasis, Radiance, Rhapsody, Serenade, Vision, Voyager of the Seas

Related: 35 Royal Caribbean cruise tips and tricks that will make your voyage better

Hooked Seafood

From chowder to mussels to whole Maine lobster, Hooked is where you get your seafood fix on select ships. Personally, I'd go for the lobster mac and cheese, but you do you.

Available on: Icon, Navigator, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Royal Railway — Utopia Station

We'll know more once Utopia of the Seas launches, but this new restaurant sounds more like a Disney ride, taking you on a culinary journey as if you were inside a luxury railcar — while you're sailing at sea. Windows will display scenes from various destinations, and the menu items will be inspired by those regions of the world.

Available on: Utopia of the Seas

A la carte; lunch and dinner

Across the fleet, Izumi manages to take on several different looks. On Quantum Class ships, it's got a sidewalk sushi bar feel. On other ships, it's a quiet enclave tucked away on the top deck. Wherever you find it, it's the place to be for sushi and Japanese-American fusion eats.

Available on: Adventure, Anthem, Brilliance, Explorer, Grandeur, Jewel, Navigator, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Radiance, Rhapsody, Serenade, Spectrum, Vision, Voyager

Izumi Hibachi & Sushi

A la carte and fixed price; lunch and dinner

On select ships, Izumi also includes a fixed-price teppanyaki option with your choice of beef, chicken, shrimp or a combination of proteins as your entree. Sit around the cooking surface and watch the show from your entertaining chef. Alternatively, you can order sushi along with a selection of hot Japanese dishes a la carte.

Available on: Allure, Freedom, Harmony, Icon, Independence, Mariner, Oasis, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Izumi in the Park

A la carte; all-day dining

Icon and Utopia of the Seas have more takeaway food options than any other Royal Caribbean ships, including a to-go window passing out sushi at a la carte prices. You'll find the venue in Central Park, next to the main Izumi restaurant.

Available on: Icon and Utopia of the Seas

Jamie's Italian by Jamie Oliver

Royal Caribbean's third Italian option features a Tuscan-inspired, celebrity-chef-curated menu that is a bit more modern than either version of the Giovanni's restaurants found on other ships. You can still find a luscious lasagna, but the menu holds surprises like crispy squid and pan-roasted salmon.

Available on: Anthem, Harmony, Mariner, Navigator, Ovation, Quantum, Spectrum, Symphony of the Seas

Johnny Rockets

Fixed price; all-day dining

Johnny Rockets is the original specialty restaurant on Royal Caribbean ships. Its juicy burgers, fries and shakes have become a beloved part of Royal Caribbean food culture. It's a well-kept secret that the apple pie is hands down the best on board any ship afloat. You'll pay a flat fee per person to dine there, but beverages, such as the venue's famous shakes, cost extra (unless they're included in your drinks package).

On Oasis Class ships, you can enjoy a complimentary breakfast of eggs, omelets, breakfast sandwiches and pancakes at Johnny Rockets.

Available on: Adventure, Allure, Anthem, Explorer, Freedom, Harmony, Independence, Liberty, Mariner, Navigator (Express), Oasis, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

La Patisserie

Looking to put a French twist on your vacation, regardless of your cruise destination? Here's your chance to indulge in French pastries (for purchase) paired with luscious coffees or tea. Think macarons and artisan chocolates that are a step above the complimentary snacks at Cafe Promenade. Order cake or cheesecake by the slice or pick up a whole cake to share with the gang. The best secret here is that you can order your coffee or hot cocoa with a shot of chocolate liqueur.

Available on: Anthem, Ovation, Quantum, Spectrum of the Seas

If you're looking for a poolside snack, you'll find right-sized bites in the form of sliders, pizza, taquitos and sweet treats at Mini Bites.

Available on: Harmony of the Seas

Included; Breakfast and lunch

The Park Cafe is home to the Royal Kummelweck Roast Beef Sandwich, which has garnered serious social media buzz. I hear about people who rush to Park Cafe on embarkation day to start indulging in their Kummelweck binging. Look for other deli treats, paninis and hot pizza in most Park Cafe locations along with fresh fruit, salads and desserts. At breakfast, you'll find grab-and-go options and a bagel bar.

The Park Cafe is found in Central Park on Oasis and Icon Class ships and near the solarium on smaller ships. On those vessels, the venue's location allows you to spend long luxurious hours poolside with plenty of snacks nearby.

Available on: Allure, Brilliance, Enchantment, Grandeur, Harmony, Icon, Oasis, Radiance, Rhapsody, Serenade, Symphony, Vision, Wonder of the Seas

Icon of the Seas' new take on the Royal Promenade coffee-and-snack shop is a winner. Comfy seating with stunning ocean views makes it an ideal spot to hang with friends as you munch your way through a sandwich or tartlet. Specialty coffee and teas are available for a charge. The Pearl Cafe is open around the clock, so you can grab a snack at any hour.

A la carte; breakfast, lunch and dinner

The concept here starts with California beach food like fish tacos or shrimp tostadas, then adds the coolest three words to ever be combined in the English language: "All Day Brunch." When you wake up at noon craving breakfast food, head to the Surfside neighborhood for favorites such as pancake platters and smoked salmon eggs Benedict. As befitting a family-friendly specialty restaurant, kids under 12 dine free.

Playmakers Sports Bar

A la carte; lunch, dinner and late night

It's crazy that the Playmakers menu is still somewhat of an unknown for many Royal Caribbean cruisers. Perhaps those who know work hard not to spread the word. Expect gourmet burgers, wings and, yes, truffle fries. Or pop in after a night of clubbing for a sweet treat like a sundae or the infamous Campfire Cookie topped with melted marshmallows and Nutella.

Available on: Freedom, Icon, Independence, Mariner, Navigator, Oasis, Odyssey, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Related: The best Royal Caribbean cruise ship for every type of traveler

Portside BBQ

Whether you go for a platter of ribs or a sandwich dripping with sauce, expect an abundance of flavors from the Deep South. And don't skimp on dessert – you really can't eat barbecue without finishing it with nanna pudding, y'all.

Available on: Oasis of the Seas

Fixed price; lunch and dinner

Billed as "modern Mexican" cuisine, Sabor offers up guacamole, empanadas and a variety of tacos, quesadillas and sides. Save room for flan or churros for dessert.

Available on: Allure, Harmony, Liberty of the Seas

Samba Grill

Samba Grill is similar to the Brazilian steakhouses you've visited on land. You choose starters from an appetizer station, followed by your choice of meats (including chicken) carved tableside. The chocolate layer cake makes a delightful finish to your meal — if you still have room left after all that meat.

Available on: Allure and Radiance of the Seas

Solarium Bistro

Included, with a la carte extras; breakfast, lunch and dinner

Tucked away inside the Solarium, the Bistro is a multipurpose food space. Complimentary breakfast and lunch minibuffets are served here, making the venue a quieter option for those meals. No reservations are required.

Dinner, on the other hand, though still complimentary, is by reservation only and is a combination of buffet and table-served dishes, with a menu focused on healthy Mediterranean options. As in the main dining room, a handful of optional charged items are on the menu (upgraded steaks and lobster). Children are allowed to eat in the Bistro, even though the Solarium has a minimum age of 16.

Do not be surprised to discover that the space is not always available during your cruise. Apparently, its location means it has its own kitchen, making it ideal for private functions where food sourcing is important. I've heard of its being used exclusively on some cruises by gluten-free and kosher groups.

Available on: Allure, Anthem, Harmony, Oasis, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Sorrento's Pizza

Whether you're looking to grab a slice or a pie, Sorrento's Pizza is your pizza go-to spot on more than half the fleet. You can order a custom pie or choose from what's on hand. Seating specific to Sorrento's is fairly limited on some ships, but shared dining space is usually somewhere nearby. It's not open 24/7 but doesn't shut down until well after midnight.

Available on: Allure, Anthem, Freedom, Harmony, Icon, Independence, Liberty, Oasis, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Spectrum, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

If you're screaming for ice cream, Sprinkles is Royal Caribbean's go-to for soft-serve ice cream in multiple flavors.

Available: Fleetwide

Freestanding Starbucks locations serve the same drinks and snacks you can find in land-based outlets. You can use your Starbucks gift cards (if you bring them onboard) and your Starbucks app to order and pay at these locations. You'll earn Starbucks stars for purchases but cannot redeem them.

Other Royal Caribbean cafes might serve Starbucks-branded beverages, but they are operated by Royal Caribbean. In those locations, you can only pay for drinks with your Sea Pass card (including via either the Refreshment or Deluxe Beverage Package) or a coffee card purchased onboard.

Stand-alone Starbucks locations available on: Allure, Harmony, Icon, Mariner, Navigator, Oasis, Odyssey, Symphony, Utopia of the Seas

Sugar Beach

You can purchase colorful candies, fudge and cupcakes at Sugar Beach.

Available on: Allure (Candy Beach), Icon, Independence, Oasis, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Surfside Bites

Surfside Bites is the place to grab kid-favorite finger food on the fly. Think popcorn chicken, hot dogs and churros.

Surfside Eatery

Surfside is Royal Caribbean's new family-friendly, stay-all-day onboard destination with multiple pools and attractions. Surfside Eatery provides a place for families to sit down to a meal without leaving the neighborhood. The buffet serves three meals daily with dishes for both kid and grownup palates.

Though both Odyssey and Spectrum have an Izumi Sushi location, Teppanyaki is a separate Japanese steakhouse located on Deck 14 on these two ships. Choose from either a single protein or a combo for the fixed-price meal, similar to Izumi Hibachi. Appetizers are priced a la carte.

Available on: Odyssey and Spectrum of the Seas

The Bamboo Room

The Bamboo Room is another onboard bar with somewhat secretive bar snacks — including Hawaiian barbecue sliders and coconut crab bruschetta. Don't miss this treat if you're sailing on Mariner of the Seas, the only ship in the fleet with this venue.

Available on: Mariner of the Seas

Included; all day dining

The Grove is the exclusive sun deck snack bar for Sky- and Star-tier suite guests on Icon of the Seas. The venue serves upscale Mediterranean mezes (small dishes) in an outdoor setting.

The Mason Jar

Fixed price; brunch and dinner

If you're looking for an out-of-the-ordinary brunch or dinner on board the newest Oasis Class ships, the Mason Jar is your spot. The atmosphere is relaxing, the menu is deeply Southern and the iced tea (sipped from Mason jars, of course) is sweet. Expect shrimp and grits, barbecue and fried chicken.

Available on: Wonder and Utopia of the Seas

The Spare Tire

Royal Caribbean brings a food truck-themed eatery poolside for handheld favorites like burgers and fries.

Trellis Bar

Say yes to upscale bar bites Icon of the Seas' version of this Central Park watering hole. Snack on mac & cheese poppers or truffled french fries while you sip your wine or commit to a meal with a drink with options like steak bites, Chops dry-aged burger and a chicken Caesar salad.

Vintages is home to another secret bar snack menu you might not know about. Expect bruschetta, olives, meat platters, seafood bites and other tapas, served from 5 p.m. until they're gone.

Available on: Allure, Anthem, Freedom, Harmony, Independence, Liberty, Oasis, Ovation, Quantum, Symphony of the Seas

Vitality Cafe

Included; breakfast and lunch

Located next to the spa and workout facilities on select ships, Vitality Cafe is what you would expect to find in such a health-oriented spot. Custom-blended fruit and veggie smoothies and protein shakes cost extra but are included in the Deluxe and Refreshment beverage packages. On some ships, the cafe also serves fruit cups and granola bites to get you through your workout.

Available on: Allure, Harmony, Icon, Oasis, Symphony, Utopia, Wonder of the Seas

Windjammer Marketplace

Expect an extensive multistation buffet with ample choices for everyone. In addition to the food, complimentary beverages include drip coffee, various hot teas, hot cocoa, milk, lemonade, punch and iced tea. Soft drink machines are available for those who have bought beverage packages. Larger ships have a bar within the Windjammer and servers rotate regularly.

The menu is described as "imaginative" as befits a restaurant inspired by "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland." Expect a multicourse dinner experience featuring food that is deconstructed, reconstructed and otherwise created to generate an entertaining gourmet meal.

Available on: Anthem, Harmony, Odyssey, Ovation, Quantum, Spectrum, Symphony, Wonder of the Seas

Royal Caribbean food: Frequently asked questions

How does the main dining room work?

At booking, you are offered a choice between traditional times designated as early or late, or flexible dining called My Time Dining , allowing you to show up anytime during restaurant open hours.

Do I need reservations for dinner in a specialty restaurant?

Waiter-served, extra-fee restaurants — whether fixed price or a la carte — typically require reservations. On the rare occasion when a ship is sailing at lower than full occupancy, you might find you can walk up during nonpeak hours and be seated at a specialty restaurant without a reservation. Those opportunities are the exceptions. Better to make a reservation to ensure you get the time slot you prefer.

What do "a la carte" and "fixed price" mean on Royal Caribbean ships?

A la carte pricing refers to restaurants where the food is individually priced. You only pay for the dishes you order. An entire menu might be individually priced, or you might only see a few items with prices on an otherwise complimentary menu.

Fixed price indicates that dining at the restaurant has a single cover charge for the full meal. This may also be stated as "Prix Fixe." You will generally choose an appetizer or salad, an entree, sides and a dessert. Beverages other than tea, coffee and water are an added charge unless specifically stated that they are included.

What beverages are included with my cruise fare?

Drip coffee, tap water, hot and iced tea, milk, and one or more flavored drinks like fruit punch or lemonade dispensed from drink machines. All other beverages may be purchased individually or you can buy a beverage package to pay for unlimited drinks in advance (fine print applies). Read our complete guide to Royal Caribbean drink packages for details.

Is there room service and what does it cost?

Room service is available in all cabins. Continental breakfast, including coffee, pastries, fruit and cold cereal, is free. Hot breakfast, lunch, dinner and all snacks incur a delivery charge of $7.95 plus 18% gratuity. The food itself is mostly complimentary, but selected dishes are priced a la carte.

How do specialty dining packages work?

To reduce the cost of specialty dining, you can buy a three- or five-restaurant package or an unlimited dining package. Some sailings also offer a combo option of Chops plus one other restaurant. These are all available for purchase in the cruise planner before your sailing. The unlimited package allows you to dine at any specialty restaurant each night of your cruise, plus lunches where they are available.

Can children eat in the specialty restaurants on board?

Most Royal Caribbean specialty restaurants cater to children with special menus and reduced prices. There are a few examples where children are allowed, but not catered to. Empire Supper Club is an example of that. The line states that children under 12 are allowed, but the experience is designed "for adult guests."

Does Royal Caribbean charge extra for lobster?

Lobster tails may be ordered any night of the cruise at Chops Grill or for an extra charge in the main dining room. Only one lobster tail is included when complimentary lobster is served in the dining room as part of the menu. Additional lobsters are charged to your bill.

Planning a cruise? Start with these stories:

  • The 5 most desirable cabin locations on any cruise ship
  • A beginners guide to picking a cruise line
  • The 8 worst cabin locations on any cruise ship
  • The ultimate guide to what to pack for a cruise
  • A quick guide to the most popular cruise lines
  • 21 tips and tricks that will make your cruise go smoothly
  • Top ways cruisers waste money
  • The ultimate guide to choosing a cruise ship cabin

Editorial disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are the author’s alone, not those of any bank, credit card issuer, airline or hotel chain, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any of these entities.

Fish & Ships Restaurant_Royal Caribbean

photo of Icon of the Seas, taken on a long railed path approaching the stern of the ship, with people walking along dock

Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

Seven agonizing nights aboard the Icon of the Seas

photo of Icon of the Seas, taken on a long railed path approaching the stern of the ship, with people walking along dock

Listen to this article

Listen to more stories on curio

Updated at 2:44 p.m. ET on April 6, 2024.

This article was featured in the One Story to Read Today newsletter. Sign up for it here .

MY FIRST GLIMPSE of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, from the window of an approaching Miami cab, brings on a feeling of vertigo, nausea, amazement, and distress. I shut my eyes in defense, as my brain tells my optic nerve to try again.

The ship makes no sense, vertically or horizontally. It makes no sense on sea, or on land, or in outer space. It looks like a hodgepodge of domes and minarets, tubes and canopies, like Istanbul had it been designed by idiots. Vibrant, oversignifying colors are stacked upon other such colors, decks perched over still more decks; the only comfort is a row of lifeboats ringing its perimeter. There is no imposed order, no cogent thought, and, for those who do not harbor a totalitarian sense of gigantomania, no visual mercy. This is the biggest cruise ship ever built, and I have been tasked with witnessing its inaugural voyage.

Magazine Cover image

Explore the May 2024 Issue

Check out more from this issue and find your next story to read.

“Author embarks on their first cruise-ship voyage” has been a staple of American essay writing for almost three decades, beginning with David Foster Wallace’s “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again,” which was first published in 1996 under the title “Shipping Out.” Since then, many admirable writers have widened and diversified the genre. Usually the essayist commissioned to take to the sea is in their first or second flush of youth and is ready to sharpen their wit against the hull of the offending vessel. I am 51, old and tired, having seen much of the world as a former travel journalist, and mostly what I do in both life and prose is shrug while muttering to my imaginary dachshund, “This too shall pass.” But the Icon of the Seas will not countenance a shrug. The Icon of the Seas is the Linda Loman of cruise ships, exclaiming that attention must be paid. And here I am in late January with my one piece of luggage and useless gray winter jacket and passport, zipping through the Port of Miami en route to the gangway that will separate me from the bulk of North America for more than seven days, ready to pay it in full.

The aforementioned gangway opens up directly onto a thriving mall (I will soon learn it is imperiously called the “Royal Promenade”), presently filled with yapping passengers beneath a ceiling studded with balloons ready to drop. Crew members from every part of the global South, as well as a few Balkans, are shepherding us along while pressing flutes of champagne into our hands. By a humming Starbucks, I drink as many of these as I can and prepare to find my cabin. I show my blue Suite Sky SeaPass Card (more on this later, much more) to a smiling woman from the Philippines, and she tells me to go “aft.” Which is where, now? As someone who has rarely sailed on a vessel grander than the Staten Island Ferry, I am confused. It turns out that the aft is the stern of the ship, or, for those of us who don’t know what a stern or an aft are, its ass. The nose of the ship, responsible for separating the waves before it, is also called a bow, and is marked for passengers as the FWD , or forward. The part of the contemporary sailing vessel where the malls are clustered is called the midship. I trust that you have enjoyed this nautical lesson.

I ascend via elevator to my suite on Deck 11. This is where I encounter my first terrible surprise. My suite windows and balcony do not face the ocean. Instead, they look out onto another shopping mall. This mall is the one that’s called Central Park, perhaps in homage to the Olmsted-designed bit of greenery in the middle of my hometown. Although on land I would be delighted to own a suite with Central Park views, here I am deeply depressed. To sail on a ship and not wake up to a vast blue carpet of ocean? Unthinkable.

Allow me a brief preamble here. The story you are reading was commissioned at a moment when most staterooms on the Icon were sold out. In fact, so enthralled by the prospect of this voyage were hard-core mariners that the ship’s entire inventory of guest rooms (the Icon can accommodate up to 7,600 passengers, but its inaugural journey was reduced to 5,000 or so for a less crowded experience) was almost immediately sold out. Hence, this publication was faced with the shocking prospect of paying nearly $19,000 to procure for this solitary passenger an entire suite—not including drinking expenses—all for the privilege of bringing you this article. But the suite in question doesn’t even have a view of the ocean! I sit down hard on my soft bed. Nineteen thousand dollars for this .

selfie photo of man with glasses, in background is swim-up bar with two women facing away

The viewless suite does have its pluses. In addition to all the Malin+Goetz products in my dual bathrooms, I am granted use of a dedicated Suite Deck lounge; access to Coastal Kitchen, a superior restaurant for Suites passengers; complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream (“the fastest Internet at Sea”) “for one device per person for the whole cruise duration”; a pair of bathrobes (one of which comes prestained with what looks like a large expectoration by the greenest lizard on Earth); and use of the Grove Suite Sun, an area on Decks 18 and 19 with food and deck chairs reserved exclusively for Suite passengers. I also get reserved seating for a performance of The Wizard of Oz , an ice-skating tribute to the periodic table, and similar provocations. The very color of my Suite Sky SeaPass Card, an oceanic blue as opposed to the cloying royal purple of the standard non-Suite passenger, will soon provoke envy and admiration. But as high as my status may be, there are those on board who have much higher status still, and I will soon learn to bow before them.

In preparation for sailing, I have “priced in,” as they say on Wall Street, the possibility that I may come from a somewhat different monde than many of the other cruisers. Without falling into stereotypes or preconceptions, I prepare myself for a friendly outspokenness on the part of my fellow seafarers that may not comply with modern DEI standards. I believe in meeting people halfway, and so the day before flying down to Miami, I visited what remains of Little Italy to purchase a popular T-shirt that reads DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL across the breast in the colors of the Italian flag. My wife recommended that I bring one of my many T-shirts featuring Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, as all Americans love the beagle and his friends. But I naively thought that my meatball T-shirt would be more suitable for conversation-starting. “Oh, and who is your ‘daddy’?” some might ask upon seeing it. “And how long have you been his ‘little meatball’?” And so on.

I put on my meatball T-shirt and head for one of the dining rooms to get a late lunch. In the elevator, I stick out my chest for all to read the funny legend upon it, but soon I realize that despite its burnished tricolor letters, no one takes note. More to the point, no one takes note of me. Despite my attempts at bridge building, the very sight of me (small, ethnic, without a cap bearing the name of a football team) elicits no reaction from other passengers. Most often, they will small-talk over me as if I don’t exist. This brings to mind the travails of David Foster Wallace , who felt so ostracized by his fellow passengers that he retreated to his cabin for much of his voyage. And Wallace was raised primarily in the Midwest and was a much larger, more American-looking meatball than I am. If he couldn’t talk to these people, how will I? What if I leave this ship without making any friends at all, despite my T-shirt? I am a social creature, and the prospect of seven days alone and apart is saddening. Wallace’s stateroom, at least, had a view of the ocean, a kind of cheap eternity.

Worse awaits me in the dining room. This is a large, multichandeliered room where I attended my safety training (I was shown how to put on a flotation vest; it is a very simple procedure). But the maître d’ politely refuses me entry in an English that seems to verge on another language. “I’m sorry, this is only for pendejos ,” he seems to be saying. I push back politely and he repeats himself. Pendejos ? Piranhas? There’s some kind of P-word to which I am not attuned. Meanwhile elderly passengers stream right past, powered by their limbs, walkers, and electric wheelchairs. “It is only pendejo dining today, sir.” “But I have a suite!” I say, already starting to catch on to the ship’s class system. He examines my card again. “But you are not a pendejo ,” he confirms. I am wearing a DADDY’S LITTLE MEATBALL T-shirt, I want to say to him. I am the essence of pendejo .

Eventually, I give up and head to the plebeian buffet on Deck 15, which has an aquatic-styled name I have now forgotten. Before gaining entry to this endless cornucopia of reheated food, one passes a washing station of many sinks and soap dispensers, and perhaps the most intriguing character on the entire ship. He is Mr. Washy Washy—or, according to his name tag, Nielbert of the Philippines—and he is dressed as a taco (on other occasions, I’ll see him dressed as a burger). Mr. Washy Washy performs an eponymous song in spirited, indeed flamboyant English: “Washy, washy, wash your hands, WASHY WASHY!” The dangers of norovirus and COVID on a cruise ship this size (a giant fellow ship was stricken with the former right after my voyage) makes Mr. Washy Washy an essential member of the crew. The problem lies with the food at the end of Washy’s rainbow. The buffet is groaning with what sounds like sophisticated dishes—marinated octopus, boiled egg with anchovy, chorizo, lobster claws—but every animal tastes tragically the same, as if there was only one creature available at the market, a “cruisipus” bred specifically for Royal Caribbean dining. The “vegetables” are no better. I pick up a tomato slice and look right through it. It tastes like cellophane. I sit alone, apart from the couples and parents with gaggles of children, as “We Are Family” echoes across the buffet space.

I may have failed to mention that all this time, the Icon of the Seas has not left port. As the fiery mango of the subtropical setting sun makes Miami’s condo skyline even more apocalyptic, the ship shoves off beneath a perfunctory display of fireworks. After the sun sets, in the far, dark distance, another circus-lit cruise ship ruptures the waves before us. We glance at it with pity, because it is by definition a smaller ship than our own. I am on Deck 15, outside the buffet and overlooking a bunch of pools (the Icon has seven of them), drinking a frilly drink that I got from one of the bars (the Icon has 15 of them), still too shy to speak to anyone, despite Sister Sledge’s assertion that all on the ship are somehow related.

Kim Brooks: On failing the family vacation

The ship’s passage away from Ron DeSantis’s Florida provides no frisson, no sense of developing “sea legs,” as the ship is too large to register the presence of waves unless a mighty wind adds significant chop. It is time for me to register the presence of the 5,000 passengers around me, even if they refuse to register mine. My fellow travelers have prepared for this trip with personally decorated T-shirts celebrating the importance of this voyage. The simplest ones say ICON INAUGURAL ’24 on the back and the family name on the front. Others attest to an over-the-top love of cruise ships: WARNING! MAY START TALKING ABOUT CRUISING . Still others are artisanally designed and celebrate lifetimes spent married while cruising (on ships, of course). A couple possibly in their 90s are wearing shirts whose backs feature a drawing of a cruise liner, two flamingos with ostensibly male and female characteristics, and the legend “ HUSBAND AND WIFE Cruising Partners FOR LIFE WE MAY NOT HAVE IT All Together BUT TOGETHER WE HAVE IT ALL .” (The words not in all caps have been written in cursive.) A real journalist or a more intrepid conversationalist would have gone up to the couple and asked them to explain the longevity of their marriage vis-à-vis their love of cruising. But instead I head to my mall suite, take off my meatball T-shirt, and allow the first tears of the cruise to roll down my cheeks slowly enough that I briefly fall asleep amid the moisture and salt.

photo of elaborate twisting multicolored waterslides with long stairwell to platform

I WAKE UP with a hangover. Oh God. Right. I cannot believe all of that happened last night. A name floats into my cobwebbed, nauseated brain: “Ayn Rand.” Jesus Christ.

I breakfast alone at the Coastal Kitchen. The coffee tastes fine and the eggs came out of a bird. The ship rolls slightly this morning; I can feel it in my thighs and my schlong, the parts of me that are most receptive to danger.

I had a dangerous conversation last night. After the sun set and we were at least 50 miles from shore (most modern cruise ships sail at about 23 miles an hour), I lay in bed softly hiccupping, my arms stretched out exactly like Jesus on the cross, the sound of the distant waves missing from my mall-facing suite, replaced by the hum of air-conditioning and children shouting in Spanish through the vents of my two bathrooms. I decided this passivity was unacceptable. As an immigrant, I feel duty-bound to complete the tasks I am paid for, which means reaching out and trying to understand my fellow cruisers. So I put on a normal James Perse T-shirt and headed for one of the bars on the Royal Promenade—the Schooner Bar, it was called, if memory serves correctly.

I sat at the bar for a martini and two Negronis. An old man with thick, hairy forearms drank next to me, very silent and Hemingwaylike, while a dreadlocked piano player tinkled out a series of excellent Elton John covers. To my right, a young white couple—he in floral shorts, she in a light, summery miniskirt with a fearsome diamond ring, neither of them in football regalia—chatted with an elderly couple. Do it , I commanded myself. Open your mouth. Speak! Speak without being spoken to. Initiate. A sentence fragment caught my ear from the young woman, “Cherry Hill.” This is a suburb of Philadelphia in New Jersey, and I had once been there for a reading at a synagogue. “Excuse me,” I said gently to her. “Did you just mention Cherry Hill? It’s a lovely place.”

As it turned out, the couple now lived in Fort Lauderdale (the number of Floridians on the cruise surprised me, given that Southern Florida is itself a kind of cruise ship, albeit one slowly sinking), but soon they were talking with me exclusively—the man potbellied, with a chin like a hard-boiled egg; the woman as svelte as if she were one of the many Ukrainian members of the crew—the elderly couple next to them forgotten. This felt as groundbreaking as the first time I dared to address an American in his native tongue, as a child on a bus in Queens (“On my foot you are standing, Mister”).

“I don’t want to talk politics,” the man said. “But they’re going to eighty-six Biden and put Michelle in.”

I considered the contradictions of his opening conversational gambit, but decided to play along. “People like Michelle,” I said, testing the waters. The husband sneered, but the wife charitably put forward that the former first lady was “more personable” than Joe Biden. “They’re gonna eighty-six Biden,” the husband repeated. “He can’t put a sentence together.”

After I mentioned that I was a writer—though I presented myself as a writer of teleplays instead of novels and articles such as this one—the husband told me his favorite writer was Ayn Rand. “Ayn Rand, she came here with nothing,” the husband said. “I work with a lot of Cubans, so …” I wondered if I should mention what I usually do to ingratiate myself with Republicans or libertarians: the fact that my finances improved after pass-through corporations were taxed differently under Donald Trump. Instead, I ordered another drink and the couple did the same, and I told him that Rand and I were born in the same city, St. Petersburg/Leningrad, and that my family also came here with nothing. Now the bonding and drinking began in earnest, and several more rounds appeared. Until it all fell apart.

Read: Gary Shteyngart on watching Russian television for five days straight

My new friend, whom I will refer to as Ayn, called out to a buddy of his across the bar, and suddenly a young couple, both covered in tattoos, appeared next to us. “He fucking punked me,” Ayn’s frat-boy-like friend called out as he put his arm around Ayn, while his sizable partner sizzled up to Mrs. Rand. Both of them had a look I have never seen on land—their eyes projecting absence and enmity in equal measure. In the ’90s, I drank with Russian soldiers fresh from Chechnya and wandered the streets of wartime Zagreb, but I have never seen such undisguised hostility toward both me and perhaps the universe at large. I was briefly introduced to this psychopathic pair, but neither of them wanted to have anything to do with me, and the tattooed woman would not even reveal her Christian name to me (she pretended to have the same first name as Mrs. Rand). To impress his tattooed friends, Ayn made fun of the fact that as a television writer, I’d worked on the series Succession (which, it would turn out, practically nobody on the ship had watched), instead of the far more palatable, in his eyes, zombie drama of last year. And then my new friends drifted away from me into an angry private conversation—“He punked me!”—as I ordered another drink for myself, scared of the dead-eyed arrivals whose gaze never registered in the dim wattage of the Schooner Bar, whose terrifying voices and hollow laughs grated like unoiled gears against the crooning of “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.”

But today is a new day for me and my hangover. After breakfast, I explore the ship’s so-called neighborhoods . There’s the AquaDome, where one can find a food hall and an acrobatic sound-and-light aquatic show. Central Park has a premium steak house, a sushi joint, and a used Rolex that can be bought for $8,000 on land here proudly offered at $17,000. There’s the aforementioned Royal Promenade, where I had drunk with the Rands, and where a pair of dueling pianos duel well into the night. There’s Surfside, a kids’ neighborhood full of sugary garbage, which looks out onto the frothy trail that the behemoth leaves behind itself. Thrill Island refers to the collection of tubes that clutter the ass of the ship and offer passengers six waterslides and a surfing simulation. There’s the Hideaway, an adult zone that plays music from a vomit-slathered, Brit-filled Alicante nightclub circa 1996 and proves a big favorite with groups of young Latin American customers. And, most hurtfully, there’s the Suite Neighborhood.

2 photos: a ship's foamy white wake stretches to the horizon; a man at reailing with water and two large ships docked behind

I say hurtfully because as a Suite passenger I should be here, though my particular suite is far from the others. Whereas I am stuck amid the riffraff of Deck 11, this section is on the highborn Decks 16 and 17, and in passing, I peek into the spacious, tall-ceilinged staterooms from the hallway, dazzled by the glint of the waves and sun. For $75,000, one multifloor suite even comes with its own slide between floors, so that a family may enjoy this particular terror in private. There is a quiet splendor to the Suite Neighborhood. I see fewer stickers and signs and drawings than in my own neighborhood—for example, MIKE AND DIANA PROUDLY SERVED U.S. MARINE CORPS RETIRED . No one here needs to announce their branch of service or rank; they are simply Suites, and this is where they belong. Once again, despite my hard work and perseverance, I have been disallowed from the true American elite. Once again, I am “Not our class, dear.” I am reminded of watching The Love Boat on my grandmother’s Zenith, which either was given to her or we found in the trash (I get our many malfunctioning Zeniths confused) and whose tube got so hot, I would put little chunks of government cheese on a thin tissue atop it to give our welfare treat a pleasant, Reagan-era gooeyness. I could not understand English well enough then to catch the nuances of that seafaring program, but I knew that there were differences in the status of the passengers, and that sometimes those differences made them sad. Still, this ship, this plenty—every few steps, there are complimentary nachos or milkshakes or gyros on offer—was the fatty fuel of my childhood dreams. If only I had remained a child.

I walk around the outdoor decks looking for company. There is a middle-aged African American couple who always seem to be asleep in each other’s arms, probably exhausted from the late capitalism they regularly encounter on land. There is far more diversity on this ship than I expected. Many couples are a testament to Loving v. Virginia , and there is a large group of folks whose T-shirts read MELANIN AT SEA / IT’S THE MELANIN FOR ME . I smile when I see them, but then some young kids from the group makes Mr. Washy Washy do a cruel, caricatured “Burger Dance” (today he is in his burger getup), and I think, Well, so much for intersectionality .

At the infinity pool on Deck 17, I spot some elderly women who could be ethnic and from my part of the world, and so I jump in. I am proved correct! Many of them seem to be originally from Queens (“Corona was still great when it was all Italian”), though they are now spread across the tristate area. We bond over the way “Ron-kon-koma” sounds when announced in Penn Station.

“Everyone is here for a different reason,” one of them tells me. She and her ex-husband last sailed together four years ago to prove to themselves that their marriage was truly over. Her 15-year-old son lost his virginity to “an Irish young lady” while their ship was moored in Ravenna, Italy. The gaggle of old-timers competes to tell me their favorite cruising stories and tips. “A guy proposed in Central Park a couple of years ago”—many Royal Caribbean ships apparently have this ridiculous communal area—“and she ran away screaming!” “If you’re diamond-class, you get four drinks for free.” “A different kind of passenger sails out of Bayonne.” (This, perhaps, is racially coded.) “Sometimes, if you tip the bartender $5, your next drink will be free.”

“Everyone’s here for a different reason,” the woman whose marriage ended on a cruise tells me again. “Some people are here for bad reasons—the drinkers and the gamblers. Some people are here for medical reasons.” I have seen more than a few oxygen tanks and at least one woman clearly undergoing very serious chemo. Some T-shirts celebrate good news about a cancer diagnosis. This might be someone’s last cruise or week on Earth. For these women, who have spent months, if not years, at sea, cruising is a ritual as well as a life cycle: first love, last love, marriage, divorce, death.

Read: The last place on Earth any tourist should go

I have talked with these women for so long, tonight I promise myself that after a sad solitary dinner I will not try to seek out company at the bars in the mall or the adult-themed Hideaway. I have enough material to fulfill my duties to this publication. As I approach my orphaned suite, I run into the aggro young people who stole Mr. and Mrs. Rand away from me the night before. The tattooed apparitions pass me without a glance. She is singing something violent about “Stuttering Stanley” (a character in a popular horror movie, as I discover with my complimentary VOOM SM Surf & Stream Internet at Sea) and he’s loudly shouting about “all the money I’ve lost,” presumably at the casino in the bowels of the ship.

So these bent psychos out of a Cormac McCarthy novel are angrily inhabiting my deck. As I mewl myself to sleep, I envision a limited series for HBO or some other streamer, a kind of low-rent White Lotus , where several aggressive couples conspire to throw a shy intellectual interloper overboard. I type the scenario into my phone. As I fall asleep, I think of what the woman who recently divorced her husband and whose son became a man through the good offices of the Irish Republic told me while I was hoisting myself out of the infinity pool. “I’m here because I’m an explorer. I’m here because I’m trying something new.” What if I allowed myself to believe in her fantasy?

2 photos: 2 slices of pizza on plate; man in "Daddy's Little Meatball" shirt and shorts standing in outdoor dining area with ship's exhaust stacks in background

“YOU REALLY STARTED AT THE TOP,” they tell me. I’m at the Coastal Kitchen for my eggs and corned-beef hash, and the maître d’ has slotted me in between two couples. Fueled by coffee or perhaps intrigued by my relative youth, they strike up a conversation with me. As always, people are shocked that this is my first cruise. They contrast the Icon favorably with all the preceding liners in the Royal Caribbean fleet, usually commenting on the efficiency of the elevators that hurl us from deck to deck (as in many large corporate buildings, the elevators ask you to choose a floor and then direct you to one of many lifts). The couple to my right, from Palo Alto—he refers to his “porn mustache” and calls his wife “my cougar” because she is two years older—tell me they are “Pandemic Pinnacles.”

This is the day that my eyes will be opened. Pinnacles , it is explained to me over translucent cantaloupe, have sailed with Royal Caribbean for 700 ungodly nights. Pandemic Pinnacles took advantage of the two-for-one accrual rate of Pinnacle points during the pandemic, when sailing on a cruise ship was even more ill-advised, to catapult themselves into Pinnacle status.

Because of the importance of the inaugural voyage of the world’s largest cruise liner, more than 200 Pinnacles are on this ship, a startling number, it seems. Mrs. Palo Alto takes out a golden badge that I have seen affixed over many a breast, which reads CROWN AND ANCHOR SOCIETY along with her name. This is the coveted badge of the Pinnacle. “You should hear all the whining in Guest Services,” her husband tells me. Apparently, the Pinnacles who are not also Suites like us are all trying to use their status to get into Coastal Kitchen, our elite restaurant. Even a Pinnacle needs to be a Suite to access this level of corned-beef hash.

“We’re just baby Pinnacles,” Mrs. Palo Alto tells me, describing a kind of internal class struggle among the Pinnacle elite for ever higher status.

And now I understand what the maître d’ was saying to me on the first day of my cruise. He wasn’t saying “ pendejo .” He was saying “Pinnacle.” The dining room was for Pinnacles only, all those older people rolling in like the tide on their motorized scooters.

And now I understand something else: This whole thing is a cult. And like most cults, it can’t help but mirror the endless American fight for status. Like Keith Raniere’s NXIVM, where different-colored sashes were given out to connote rank among Raniere’s branded acolytes, this is an endless competition among Pinnacles, Suites, Diamond-Plusers, and facing-the-mall, no-balcony purple SeaPass Card peasants, not to mention the many distinctions within each category. The more you cruise, the higher your status. No wonder a section of the Royal Promenade is devoted to getting passengers to book their next cruise during the one they should be enjoying now. No wonder desperate Royal Caribbean offers (“FINAL HOURS”) crowded my email account weeks before I set sail. No wonder the ship’s jewelry store, the Royal Bling, is selling a $100,000 golden chalice that will entitle its owner to drink free on Royal Caribbean cruises for life. (One passenger was already gaming out whether her 28-year-old son was young enough to “just about earn out” on the chalice or if that ship had sailed.) No wonder this ship was sold out months before departure , and we had to pay $19,000 for a horrid suite away from the Suite Neighborhood. No wonder the most mythical hero of Royal Caribbean lore is someone named Super Mario, who has cruised so often, he now has his own working desk on many ships. This whole experience is part cult, part nautical pyramid scheme.

From the June 2014 issue: Ship of wonks

“The toilets are amazing,” the Palo Altos are telling me. “One flush and you’re done.” “They don’t understand how energy-efficient these ships are,” the husband of the other couple is telling me. “They got the LNG”—liquefied natural gas, which is supposed to make the Icon a boon to the environment (a concept widely disputed and sometimes ridiculed by environmentalists).

But I’m thinking along a different line of attack as I spear my last pallid slice of melon. For my streaming limited series, a Pinnacle would have to get killed by either an outright peasant or a Suite without an ocean view. I tell my breakfast companions my idea.

“Oh, for sure a Pinnacle would have to be killed,” Mr. Palo Alto, the Pandemic Pinnacle, says, touching his porn mustache thoughtfully as his wife nods.

“THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S your time, buddy!” Hubert, my fun-loving Panamanian cabin attendant, shouts as I step out of my suite in a robe. “Take it easy, buddy!”

I have come up with a new dressing strategy. Instead of trying to impress with my choice of T-shirts, I have decided to start wearing a robe, as one does at a resort property on land, with a proper spa and hammam. The response among my fellow cruisers has been ecstatic. “Look at you in the robe!” Mr. Rand cries out as we pass each other by the Thrill Island aqua park. “You’re living the cruise life! You know, you really drank me under the table that night.” I laugh as we part ways, but my soul cries out, Please spend more time with me, Mr. and Mrs. Rand; I so need the company .

In my white robe, I am a stately presence, a refugee from a better limited series, a one-man crossover episode. (Only Suites are granted these robes to begin with.) Today, I will try many of the activities these ships have on offer to provide their clientele with a sense of never-ceasing motion. Because I am already at Thrill Island, I decide to climb the staircase to what looks like a mast on an old-fashioned ship (terrified, because I am afraid of heights) to try a ride called “Storm Chasers,” which is part of the “Category 6” water park, named in honor of one of the storms that may someday do away with the Port of Miami entirely. Storm Chasers consists of falling from the “mast” down a long, twisting neon tube filled with water, like being the camera inside your own colonoscopy, as you hold on to the handles of a mat, hoping not to die. The tube then flops you down headfirst into a trough of water, a Royal Caribbean baptism. It both knocks my breath out and makes me sad.

In keeping with the aquatic theme, I attend a show at the AquaDome. To the sound of “Live and Let Die,” a man in a harness gyrates to and fro in the sultry air. I saw something very similar in the back rooms of the famed Berghain club in early-aughts Berlin. Soon another harnessed man is gyrating next to the first. Ja , I think to myself, I know how this ends. Now will come the fisting , natürlich . But the show soon devolves into the usual Marvel-film-grade nonsense, with too much light and sound signifying nichts . If any fisting is happening, it is probably in the Suite Neighborhood, inside a cabin marked with an upside-down pineapple, which I understand means a couple are ready to swing, and I will see none of it.

I go to the ice show, which is a kind of homage—if that’s possible—to the periodic table, done with the style and pomp and masterful precision that would please the likes of Kim Jong Un, if only he could afford Royal Caribbean talent. At one point, the dancers skate to the theme song of Succession . “See that!” I want to say to my fellow Suites—at “cultural” events, we have a special section reserved for us away from the commoners—“ Succession ! It’s even better than the zombie show! Open your minds!”

Finally, I visit a comedy revue in an enormous and too brightly lit version of an “intimate,” per Royal Caribbean literature, “Manhattan comedy club.” Many of the jokes are about the cruising life. “I’ve lived on ships for 20 years,” one of the middle-aged comedians says. “I can only see so many Filipino homosexuals dressed as a taco.” He pauses while the audience laughs. “I am so fired tonight,” he says. He segues into a Trump impression and then Biden falling asleep at the microphone, which gets the most laughs. “Anyone here from Fort Leonard Wood?” another comedian asks. Half the crowd seems to cheer. As I fall asleep that night, I realize another connection I have failed to make, and one that may explain some of the diversity on this vessel—many of its passengers have served in the military.

As a coddled passenger with a suite, I feel like I am starting to understand what it means to have a rank and be constantly reminded of it. There are many espresso makers , I think as I look across the expanse of my officer-grade quarters before closing my eyes, but this one is mine .

photo of sheltered sandy beach with palms, umbrellas, and chairs with two large docked cruise ships in background

A shocking sight greets me beyond the pools of Deck 17 as I saunter over to the Coastal Kitchen for my morning intake of slightly sour Americanos. A tiny city beneath a series of perfectly pressed green mountains. Land! We have docked for a brief respite in Basseterre, the capital of St. Kitts and Nevis. I wolf down my egg scramble to be one of the first passengers off the ship. Once past the gangway, I barely refrain from kissing the ground. I rush into the sights and sounds of this scruffy island city, sampling incredible conch curry and buckets of non-Starbucks coffee. How wonderful it is to be where God intended humans to be: on land. After all, I am neither a fish nor a mall rat. This is my natural environment. Basseterre may not be Havana, but there are signs of human ingenuity and desire everywhere you look. The Black Table Grill Has been Relocated to Soho Village, Market Street, Directly Behind of, Gary’s Fruits and Flower Shop. Signed. THE PORK MAN reads a sign stuck to a wall. Now, that is how you write a sign. A real sign, not the come-ons for overpriced Rolexes that blink across the screens of the Royal Promenade.

“Hey, tie your shoestring!” a pair of laughing ladies shout to me across the street.

“Thank you!” I shout back. Shoestring! “Thank you very much.”

A man in Independence Square Park comes by and asks if I want to play with his monkey. I haven’t heard that pickup line since the Penn Station of the 1980s. But then he pulls a real monkey out of a bag. The monkey is wearing a diaper and looks insane. Wonderful , I think, just wonderful! There is so much life here. I email my editor asking if I can remain on St. Kitts and allow the Icon to sail off into the horizon without me. I have even priced a flight home at less than $300, and I have enough material from the first four days on the cruise to write the entire story. “It would be funny …” my editor replies. “Now get on the boat.”

As I slink back to the ship after my brief jailbreak, the locals stand under umbrellas to gaze at and photograph the boat that towers over their small capital city. The limousines of the prime minister and his lackeys are parked beside the gangway. St. Kitts, I’ve been told, is one of the few islands that would allow a ship of this size to dock.

“We hear about all the waterslides,” a sweet young server in one of the cafés told me. “We wish we could go on the ship, but we have to work.”

“I want to stay on your island,” I replied. “I love it here.”

But she didn’t understand how I could possibly mean that.

“WASHY, WASHY, so you don’t get stinky, stinky!” kids are singing outside the AquaDome, while their adult minders look on in disapproval, perhaps worried that Mr. Washy Washy is grooming them into a life of gayness. I heard a southern couple skip the buffet entirely out of fear of Mr. Washy Washy.

Meanwhile, I have found a new watering hole for myself, the Swim & Tonic, the biggest swim-up bar on any cruise ship in the world. Drinking next to full-size, nearly naked Americans takes away one’s own self-consciousness. The men have curvaceous mom bodies. The women are equally un-shy about their sprawling physiques.

Today I’ve befriended a bald man with many children who tells me that all of the little trinkets that Royal Caribbean has left us in our staterooms and suites are worth a fortune on eBay. “Eighty dollars for the water bottle, 60 for the lanyard,” the man says. “This is a cult.”

“Tell me about it,” I say. There is, however, a clientele for whom this cruise makes perfect sense. For a large middle-class family (he works in “supply chains”), seven days in a lower-tier cabin—which starts at $1,800 a person—allow the parents to drop off their children in Surfside, where I imagine many young Filipina crew members will take care of them, while the parents are free to get drunk at a swim-up bar and maybe even get intimate in their cabin. Cruise ships have become, for a certain kind of hardworking family, a form of subsidized child care.

There is another man I would like to befriend at the Swim & Tonic, a tall, bald fellow who is perpetually inebriated and who wears a necklace studded with little rubber duckies in sunglasses, which, I am told, is a sort of secret handshake for cruise aficionados. Tomorrow, I will spend more time with him, but first the ship docks at St. Thomas, in the U.S. Virgin Islands. Charlotte Amalie, the capital, is more charming in name than in presence, but I still all but jump off the ship to score a juicy oxtail and plantains at the well-known Petite Pump Room, overlooking the harbor. From one of the highest points in the small city, the Icon of the Seas appears bigger than the surrounding hills.

I usually tan very evenly, but something about the discombobulation of life at sea makes me forget the regular application of sunscreen. As I walk down the streets of Charlotte Amalie in my fluorescent Icon of the Seas cap, an old Rastafarian stares me down. “Redneck,” he hisses.

“No,” I want to tell him, as I bring a hand up to my red neck, “that’s not who I am at all. On my island, Mannahatta, as Whitman would have it, I am an interesting person living within an engaging artistic milieu. I do not wish to use the Caribbean as a dumping ground for the cruise-ship industry. I love the work of Derek Walcott. You don’t understand. I am not a redneck. And if I am, they did this to me.” They meaning Royal Caribbean? Its passengers? The Rands?

“They did this to me!”

Back on the Icon, some older matrons are muttering about a run-in with passengers from the Celebrity cruise ship docked next to us, the Celebrity Apex. Although Celebrity Cruises is also owned by Royal Caribbean, I am made to understand that there is a deep fratricidal beef between passengers of the two lines. “We met a woman from the Apex,” one matron says, “and she says it was a small ship and there was nothing to do. Her face was as tight as a 19-year-old’s, she had so much surgery.” With those words, and beneath a cloudy sky, humidity shrouding our weathered faces and red necks, we set sail once again, hopefully in the direction of home.

photo from inside of spacious geodesic-style glass dome facing ocean, with stairwells and seating areas

THERE ARE BARELY 48 HOURS LEFT to the cruise, and the Icon of the Seas’ passengers are salty. They know how to work the elevators. They know the Washy Washy song by heart. They understand that the chicken gyro at “Feta Mediterranean,” in the AquaDome Market, is the least problematic form of chicken on the ship.

The passengers have shed their INAUGURAL CRUISE T-shirts and are now starting to evince political opinions. There are caps pledging to make America great again and T-shirts that celebrate words sometimes attributed to Patrick Henry: “The Constitution is not an instrument for the government to restrain the people; it is an instrument for the people to restrain the government.” With their preponderance of FAMILY FLAG FAITH FRIENDS FIREARMS T-shirts, the tables by the crepe station sometimes resemble the Capitol Rotunda on January 6. The Real Anthony Fauci , by Robert F. Kennedy Jr., appears to be a popular form of literature, especially among young men with very complicated versions of the American flag on their T-shirts. Other opinions blend the personal and the political. “Someone needs to kill Washy guy, right?” a well-dressed man in the elevator tells me, his gray eyes radiating nothing. “Just beat him to death. Am I right?” I overhear the male member of a young couple whisper, “There goes that freak” as I saunter by in my white spa robe, and I decide to retire it for the rest of the cruise.

I visit the Royal Bling to see up close the $100,000 golden chalice that entitles you to free drinks on Royal Caribbean forever. The pleasant Serbian saleslady explains that the chalice is actually gold-plated and covered in white zirconia instead of diamonds, as it would otherwise cost $1 million. “If you already have everything,” she explains, “this is one more thing you can get.”

I believe that anyone who works for Royal Caribbean should be entitled to immediate American citizenship. They already speak English better than most of the passengers and, per the Serbian lady’s sales pitch above, better understand what America is as well. Crew members like my Panamanian cabin attendant seem to work 24 hours a day. A waiter from New Delhi tells me that his contract is six months and three weeks long. After a cruise ends, he says, “in a few hours, we start again for the next cruise.” At the end of the half a year at sea, he is allowed a two-to-three-month stay at home with his family. As of 2019, the median income for crew members was somewhere in the vicinity of $20,000, according to a major business publication. Royal Caribbean would not share the current median salary for its crew members, but I am certain that it amounts to a fraction of the cost of a Royal Bling gold-plated, zirconia-studded chalice.

And because most of the Icon’s hyper-sanitized spaces are just a frittata away from being a Delta lounge, one forgets that there are actual sailors on this ship, charged with the herculean task of docking it in port. “Having driven 100,000-ton aircraft carriers throughout my career,” retired Admiral James G. Stavridis, the former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Europe, writes to me, “I’m not sure I would even know where to begin with trying to control a sea monster like this one nearly three times the size.” (I first met Stavridis while touring Army bases in Germany more than a decade ago.)

Today, I decide to head to the hot tub near Swim & Tonic, where some of the ship’s drunkest reprobates seem to gather (the other tubs are filled with families and couples). The talk here, like everywhere else on the ship, concerns football, a sport about which I know nothing. It is apparent that four teams have recently competed in some kind of finals for the year, and that two of them will now face off in the championship. Often when people on the Icon speak, I will try to repeat the last thing they said with a laugh or a nod of disbelief. “Yes, 20-yard line! Ha!” “Oh my God, of course, scrimmage.”

Soon we are joined in the hot tub by the late-middle-age drunk guy with the duck necklace. He is wearing a bucket hat with the legend HAWKEYES , which, I soon gather, is yet another football team. “All right, who turned me in?” Duck Necklace says as he plops into the tub beside us. “I get a call in the morning,” he says. “It’s security. Can you come down to the dining room by 10 a.m.? You need to stay away from the members of this religious family.” Apparently, the gregarious Duck Necklace had photobombed the wrong people. There are several families who present as evangelical Christians or practicing Muslims on the ship. One man, evidently, was not happy that Duck Necklace had made contact with his relatives. “It’s because of religious stuff; he was offended. I put my arm around 20 people a day.”

Everyone laughs. “They asked me three times if I needed medication,” he says of the security people who apparently interrogated him in full view of others having breakfast.

Another hot-tub denizen suggests that he should have asked for fentanyl. After a few more drinks, Duck Necklace begins to muse about what it would be like to fall off the ship. “I’m 62 and I’m ready to go,” he says. “I just don’t want a shark to eat me. I’m a huge God guy. I’m a Bible guy. There’s some Mayan theory squaring science stuff with religion. There is so much more to life on Earth.” We all nod into our Red Stripes.

“I never get off the ship when we dock,” he says. He tells us he lost $6,000 in the casino the other day. Later, I look him up, and it appears that on land, he’s a financial adviser in a crisp gray suit, probably a pillar of his North Chicago community.

photo of author smiling and holding soft-serve ice-cream cone with outdoor seating area in background

THE OCEAN IS TEEMING with fascinating life, but on the surface it has little to teach us. The waves come and go. The horizon remains ever far away.

I am constantly told by my fellow passengers that “everybody here has a story.” Yes, I want to reply, but everybody everywhere has a story. You, the reader of this essay, have a story, and yet you’re not inclined to jump on a cruise ship and, like Duck Necklace, tell your story to others at great pitch and volume. Maybe what they’re saying is that everybody on this ship wants to have a bigger, more coherent, more interesting story than the one they’ve been given. Maybe that’s why there’s so much signage on the doors around me attesting to marriages spent on the sea. Maybe that’s why the Royal Caribbean newsletter slipped under my door tells me that “this isn’t a vacation day spent—it’s bragging rights earned.” Maybe that’s why I’m so lonely.

Today is a big day for Icon passengers. Today the ship docks at Royal Caribbean’s own Bahamian island, the Perfect Day at CocoCay. (This appears to be the actual name of the island.) A comedian at the nightclub opined on what his perfect day at CocoCay would look like—receiving oral sex while learning that his ex-wife had been killed in a car crash (big laughter). But the reality of the island is far less humorous than that.

One of the ethnic tristate ladies in the infinity pool told me that she loved CocoCay because it had exactly the same things that could be found on the ship itself. This proves to be correct. It is like the Icon, but with sand. The same tired burgers, the same colorful tubes conveying children and water from Point A to B. The same swim-up bar at its Hideaway ($140 for admittance, no children allowed; Royal Caribbean must be printing money off its clientele). “There was almost a fight at The Wizard of Oz ,” I overhear an elderly woman tell her companion on a chaise lounge. Apparently one of the passengers began recording Royal Caribbean’s intellectual property and “three guys came after him.”

I walk down a pathway to the center of the island, where a sign reads DO NOT ENTER: YOU HAVE REACHED THE BOUNDARY OF ADVENTURE . I hear an animal scampering in the bushes. A Royal Caribbean worker in an enormous golf cart soon chases me down and takes me back to the Hideaway, where I run into Mrs. Rand in a bikini. She becomes livid telling me about an altercation she had the other day with a woman over a towel and a deck chair. We Suites have special towel privileges; we do not have to hand over our SeaPass Card to score a towel. But the Rands are not Suites. “People are so entitled here,” Mrs. Rand says. “It’s like the airport with all its classes.” “You see,” I want to say, “this is where your husband’s love of Ayn Rand runs into the cruelties and arbitrary indignities of unbridled capitalism.” Instead we make plans to meet for a final drink in the Schooner Bar tonight (the Rands will stand me up).

Back on the ship, I try to do laps, but the pool (the largest on any cruise ship, naturally) is fully trashed with the detritus of American life: candy wrappers, a slowly dissolving tortilla chip, napkins. I take an extra-long shower in my suite, then walk around the perimeter of the ship on a kind of exercise track, past all the alluring lifeboats in their yellow-and-white livery. Maybe there is a dystopian angle to the HBO series that I will surely end up pitching, one with shades of WALL-E or Snowpiercer . In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean–like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon features a new technology that converts passengers’ poop into enough energy to power the waterslides . In the series, this shitty technology would be greatly expanded.) A very young woman (18? 19?), smart and lonely, who has only known life on the ship, walks along the same track as I do now, contemplating jumping off into the surf left by its wake. I picture reusing Duck Necklace’s words in the opening shot of the pilot. The girl is walking around the track, her eyes on the horizon; maybe she’s highborn—a Suite—and we hear the voice-over: “I’m 19 and I’m ready to go. I just don’t want a shark to eat me.”

Before the cruise is finished, I talk to Mr. Washy Washy, or Nielbert of the Philippines. He is a sweet, gentle man, and I thank him for the earworm of a song he has given me and for keeping us safe from the dreaded norovirus. “This is very important to me, getting people to wash their hands,” he tells me in his burger getup. He has dreams, as an artist and a performer, but they are limited in scope. One day he wants to dress up as a piece of bacon for the morning shift.

THE MAIDEN VOYAGE OF THE TITANIC (the Icon of the Seas is five times as large as that doomed vessel) at least offered its passengers an exciting ending to their cruise, but when I wake up on the eighth day, all I see are the gray ghosts that populate Miami’s condo skyline. Throughout my voyage, my writer friends wrote in to commiserate with me. Sloane Crosley, who once covered a three-day spa mini-cruise for Vogue , tells me she felt “so very alone … I found it very untethering.” Gideon Lewis-Kraus writes in an Instagram comment: “When Gary is done I think it’s time this genre was taken out back and shot.” And he is right. To badly paraphrase Adorno: After this, no more cruise stories. It is unfair to put a thinking person on a cruise ship. Writers typically have difficult childhoods, and it is cruel to remind them of the inherent loneliness that drove them to writing in the first place. It is also unseemly to write about the kind of people who go on cruises. Our country does not provide the education and upbringing that allow its citizens an interior life. For the creative class to point fingers at the large, breasty gentlemen adrift in tortilla-chip-laden pools of water is to gather a sour harvest of low-hanging fruit.

A day or two before I got off the ship, I decided to make use of my balcony, which I had avoided because I thought the view would only depress me further. What I found shocked me. My suite did not look out on Central Park after all. This entire time, I had been living in the ship’s Disneyland, Surfside, the neighborhood full of screaming toddlers consuming milkshakes and candy. And as I leaned out over my balcony, I beheld a slight vista of the sea and surf that I thought I had been missing. It had been there all along. The sea was frothy and infinite and blue-green beneath the span of a seagull’s wing. And though it had been trod hard by the world’s largest cruise ship, it remained.

This article appears in the May 2024 print edition with the headline “A Meatball at Sea.” When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

This is the announcement bar for Poornima to test the Close Button.  It will expire May 31 2024.

  • Pre-Cruise FAQ
  • Onboard FAQ
  • Post-Cruise FAQ
  • Cruisetours FAQ
  • Special Offers Sign Up
  • Cruise Deals

You have been logged out

Your window will update in 5 secs

Award-Winning Actress & Performer Hannah Waddingham to Serve as Godmother of Stunning Sun Princess

Newest “love boat” to be officially christened in star-studded ceremony in barcelona on april 23, 2024.

By downloading this image you agree to the Princess asset use terms and conditions

FT. LAUDERDALE, Fla. , (April 8, 2024) - Award-winning actress and performer Hannah Waddingham will serve the time-honored, maritime tradition as the official Godmother of Princess Cruises’ newest “Love Boat” Sun Princess. The star-studded naming ceremony will take place at the Port of Barcelona on April 23, 2024. 

Waddingham joins an esteemed group who have served as Godparent to Princess ships: Diana, Princess of Wales (Royal Princess, 1984), Kate Middleton, Princess of Wales (Royal Princess, 2013); Audrey Hepburn (Star Princess, 1989); Sophia Loren (Crown Princess, 1990); Martha Stewart (Crown Princess, 2006), among many notable celebrities.

British actress and singer, Waddingham is beloved for her role as Rebecca Welton in Apple TV+’s “Ted Lasso,” in which her performance garnered a Primetime Emmy, Critics Choice Television Award and Screen Actors Guild Award, as well as two individual Golden Globe and Screen Actors Guild nominations. She will next be seen in the highly anticipated Universal film “The Fall Guy” opposite Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt in theaters on May 3, 2024. Earlier this year, Waddingham earned a BAFTA TV Award nomination for her own Apple TV+ holiday special “Hannah Waddingham: Home for Christmas.” Waddingham made her worldwide hosting debut in April 2023 at The Olivier Awards (she returns as host for the 2024 ceremony on April 14) followed swiftly by the BBC Eurovision Song Contest 2023, for which she has gained her second BAFTA TV nomination and won The Royal Television Society award for “Best Entertainment Performance” in 2024. Her upcoming films include Sony Animation film “Garfield” out May 24, 2024 and in 2025 “Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part Two.”

“We’re delighted to welcome the illuminous and elegant Hannah Waddingham to serve as Godmother for our sensational new Sun Princess,” said John Padgett, Princess Cruises president. “Just like Sun Princess, she exudes sophistication, beauty and wonderment through her inspiring work as a talented and award-winning actress and performer. We’re truly honored Hannah will officially name our most impressive, luxurious and stunning Love Boat ever created, and join an esteemed group of Princess Godparents including members of the Royal family.”

The new 177,882-ton, 4,300-guest Sun Princess introduces an innovative new ship platform designed exclusively for the world’s most iconic cruise brand. A true engineering marvel, Sun Princess officially started the inaugural cruise season on February 28, 2024, and currently is sailing a series of Mediterranean voyages before debuting in Ft. Lauderdale, Fla., in October for the ship’s first Caribbean season. 

Princess ships are renowned for offering spacious venues and Sun Princess takes that to the next level. Sun Princess debuts new eye-catching experience venues including The Dome, a groundbreaking geodesic, glass-enclosed structure at the top of the ship inspired by the terraces of Santorini. The outward and suspended Sphere Atrium, the namesake of this new class of ship, takes the central Piazza hub of the ship into a new dimension. Here guests are enveloped with expansive ocean views and an open concept, inspired to deliver the desired lifestyle of relaxed indoor and outdoor living.

Sun Princess offers an extraordinary cruise experience with not-to-be-missed culinary, entertainment and luxury accommodations, including: 

The Greatest Foodie Destination at Sea

Sun Princess serves up 30 inviting restaurant and bar venues with an unprecedented collection of celebrity collaborators, high-end ingredients and culinary experiences from: 

Spellbound by Magic Castle : Blending the captivating world of magic with the art of culinary and mixology to create an extraordinary, innovative and immersive dining experience, steeped in magic and adventure. 

Makoto Ocean : Reshaping traditional sushi with a creative approach, the Master of Edomae-style sushi, Chef Makoto Okuwa brings his 25 years of experience with a new concept crafting playful, exquisitely presented dishes paying tribute to Japanese traditions. 

Love by Britto : A high-end boutique restaurant with the most romantic view from the ship celebrating love and art from world-renowned artist Romero Britto. 

The Butcher’s Block by Dario : A new specialty pop-up restaurant from the world’s most famous butcher Dario Cecchini, guests enjoy perfectly prepared beef and steak, including Cecchini’s signature cuts. 

The Catch by Rudi : An exceptional dinner concept from renowned Chef Rudi Sodamin showcasing delectable treasures from the sea. 

Good Spirits at Sea with Rob Floyd : Destination-inspired, one-of-a-kind cocktail creations from celebrity mixologist Rob Floyd.

Debuting a three-story dining room with endless aft views, inaugural menus have been created in collaboration with the Culinary Institute of America. While retaining what guests love about Princess, the ship also features favorites like Crown Grill, Sabatini’s and Crooners with new design elements to impress.

Showstopping Entertainment in Technically Advanced Spaces

The Princess Arena is the most technologically advanced theater at sea, offering showstopping and original productions including performances in the round. At night, The Dome astonishes audiences with acrobatic Cirque Éloize performances while the Piazza dazzles with a retractable stage and immersive Champagne Waterfall. 

Elevated & Welcoming Areas & Accommodations

Sun Princess also features the cruise line’s largest casino, two-story Lotus Spa, and an expanded retail environment with more than 200 premium brands. The retail space also includes several firsts a sea including an upscale showroom dedicated to luxury horology showcasing TAG Heuer and Breitling and more than 25 new brands available to cruise guests like Italian handbag brand, Pinko and athleisure favorites Beyond Yoga and Varley. 

The first-ever family activity zone, Park19, offers multi-generational fun from the top deck. Within decks 19, 20 and 21, guests can experience everything from the Sea Breeze, a glider ride that offers panoramic views of the ocean and breathtaking ports of call to the Coastal Climb, an engaging climbing structure where guests can take in the gorgeous views.

With diverse accommodations to suit every preference and more than 1,500 cabins with balcony views, Sun Princess’ re-imagined staterooms include exceptional suites and new Cabana Mini-Suites with extra space for secluded outdoor relaxation.

Rooted in sustainability, Sun Princess is the first LNG (liquefied natural gas) vessel for the cruise line, reducing greenhouse gas emissions and features ingenious energy recovery systems for eco-conscious cruising. 

Sun Princess cruises to the Mediterranean and the Caribbean are on sale now. More ship details can be found at  www.princess.com/sunprincess . 

Additional Sun Princess assets can be found here .

More information about Princess Cruises is available through a professional travel advisor, by calling 1-800-Princess (1-800-774-6237) or by visiting  www.princess.com . 

Media Contacts

Contact information for members of the media

Negin Kamali, +1 661-753-1539, [email protected]

Briana Latter, +1 661-753-1538, [email protected]

About Princess Cruises

Princess Cruises is The Love Boat, the world’s most iconic cruise brand that delivers dream vacations to millions of guests every year in the most sought-after destinations on the largest ships that offer elite service personalization and simplicity customary of small, yacht-class ships. Well-appointed staterooms, world class dining, grand performances, award-winning casinos and entertainment, luxurious spas, imaginative experiences and boundless activities blend with exclusive Princess MedallionClass service to create meaningful connections and unforgettable moments in the most incredible settings in the world - the Caribbean, Alaska, Panama Canal, Mexican Riviera, Europe, South America, Australia/New Zealand, the South Pacific, Hawaii, Asia, Canada/New England, Antarctica, and World Cruises. The company is part of Carnival Corporation & plc (NYSE/LSE:CCL; NYSE:CUK).

Additional media information is available at princess.com/news

Not a member of the media? 

Contact us at: 1-800-PRINCESS (1-800-774-6237) or 1-661-753-0000

More contact information is available on our Contact Us page

IMAGES

  1. Royal Caribbean Cruise Gift Boarding Pass Editable Printable

    royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

  2. Cruise Certificate

    royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

  3. royal caribbean cruise gift certificates Congratulations certificate

    royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

  4. Cruise Details

    royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

  5. Royal Caribbean $50 Gift Card (Email Delivery)

    royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

  6. Royal Caribbean Gift Card; A Product You Will Love

    royal caribbean cruise gift certificate

COMMENTS

  1. Gift Cards

    Give the gift of adventure with a Royal Caribbean Gift Card that can be used for cruises, onboard activities and more. Learn how to purchase, deliver and redeem gift cards online or onboard.

  2. Royal Caribbean has quietly upgraded its gift cards to be much more

    With the new change, the Royal Caribbean Gift Card is a pre-paid gift card similar to a gift certificate. It is valid for both Royal Caribbean or Celebrity Cruises. There are four ways to redeem them: On the Royal Caribbean website. By calling the cruise line at 866-562-7625. Through your travel agent.

  3. Cruise line gift cards: Where to buy them, how to spend them

    Learn about the gift cards offered by seven cruise lines, including Royal Caribbean, and how to use them for cruise bookings, onboard charges and more. Find out where to buy them online or in person and what discounts and perks are available.

  4. Royal Caribbean's New Gift Cards Are Now Available

    Royal Caribbean has updated their gift certificate program and the world's largest cruise line now has new gift cards that you can purchase. While Royal Caribbean's Crown & Anchor Society members ...

  5. PDF Give the Gift of Adventure with a ROYALCARIBBEANGIFTCERTIFICATE

    To purchase a gift certificate call 1.800.722.5970. To Redeem a Gift Certificate, Please Call: *Certificatescan redeemed holder the Certificate (the "Holder") for up to the face value of the Certificate, only on Royal Caribbean International sailings and can be used towards the purchase of any Royal Caribbean International cruise or onboard ...

  6. How to buy a gift for someone going on a Royal Caribbean cruise

    In order to purchase a gift for someone cruising on Royal Caribbean, all you need is. Royal Caribbean will not provide reservation information to anyone other than a guest listed in the reservation (for security purposes). However, if you do not know the reservation number, you can call Royal Caribean at 1-800-722-5443 and they can look up the ...

  7. Cruise gift cards: What you need to know before buying

    The catch with Royal Caribbean's gift certificates is your cruise reservation must be made at least fourteen business days prior to the sail date and/or the gift certificate must be redeemed before the final payment date (at least ten (10) business days prior to the sail date). ... Note that Royal Caribbean gift card can only be purchased in ...

  8. PDF GIVE THE GIFT OF ADVENTURE

    The Royal Caribbean Gift Card is a pre-paid gift card similar to a gift certificate. These digital funds can be used for Royal Caribbean International or Celebrity Cruises cruise bookings. The Gift Card can be redeemed by booking online at RoyalCaribbean.com; by calling us at 866-562-7625; or by visiting your Travel Advisor.

  9. Royal Caribbean Gift Cards

    Certificate must be used as a form of payment towards a new reservation made directly with Royal Caribbean. Once the gift certificate is applied to the reservation made, the reservation may be transferred to your preferred travel agency. ... Book your Royal Caribbean cruise vacation online: www.RoyalCaribbean.com ; 866-504-3941; Deposit ...

  10. Virtual Royal Caribbean Gift Card Experience

    The value of the Gift Certificate will then be applied to your cruise reservation. Please allow up to 10 business days. You will be notified once the certificate has been applied to your reservation. However, recently this notice was added: Have questions about your Royal Caribbean gift card? Call Royal Caribbean Customer Support:

  11. Gift Certificate

    I was gifted with a $1500 gift-certificate from my employer for a Royal Caribbean cruise. They did not bother to ask if I actually would use it. From the information I read online, the following is stated: Gift certificates can be redeemed as a payment towards your cruise vacation or may be used as an onboard credit. Gift certificates must be ...

  12. Everything About Buying Discount Cruise Gift Cards via AARP (Carnival

    What Cruise Line Gift Cards Are Available? At this time, gift cards from Celebrity, Royal Caribbean, Princess, Carnival and Holland America are all available through the program. Denominations are available of $100 and $500 face values. At the time of this article, there are a total of five different cruise lines with gift cards available via AARP.

  13. Individual Cruise Incentive Program

    Reward them with a Royal Caribbean cruise certificate! Extraordinary onboard experience, delectable dining, luxurious accommodations, coupled with a selection of itinerary choices to some of the world's most popular and beautiful destinations. Here are six great reasons why a Royal Caribbean cruise certificate is the perfect individual ...

  14. Where to buy discount gift card?

    LocationMinnesota. Posted November 30, 2022. CardCash sells RCCL gift cards at a 9% discount, but like others have said, it can only be used towards the cruise fare and not OBC. Gift cards are also not wise because travel insurance doesn't cover cancellation charges when travel arrangements are purchased with gift cards. Quote.

  15. Royal Caribbean's Crown and Anchor Society: The Complete Guide

    The free cruises are a great bonus, and the first two cruises earned (at 700 and 1,050 points) are eligible for a balcony stateroom on a seven-night Caribbean sailing.

  16. Make-A-Wish with Wishes at Sea

    Royal Caribbean® is proud to partner with Make-A-Wish® — an incredible organization granting the wishes of children with critical illnesses. Every penny collected across our fleet goes directly to Make-A-Wish. No donation is too small. And when it comes to these deserving children and their families, we can turn wishful thinking into ...

  17. Royal Caribbean food: The ultimate cruise guide to restaurants and

    Royal Caribbean's third Italian option features a Tuscan-inspired, celebrity-chef-curated menu that is a bit more modern than either version of the Giovanni's restaurants found on other ships.

  18. Crying Myself to Sleep on the Biggest Cruise Ship Ever

    In a collapsed world, a Royal Caribbean-like cruise liner sails from port to port, collecting new shipmates and supplies in exchange for the precious energy it has on board. (The actual Icon ...

  19. Award-Winning Actress & Performer Hannah Waddingham ...

    FT. LAUDERDALE, Fla., (April 8, 2024) - Award-winning actress and performer Hannah Waddingham will serve the time-honored, maritime tradition as the official Godmother of Princess Cruises' newest "Love Boat" Sun Princess.The star-studded naming ceremony will take place at the Port of Barcelona on April 23, 2024. Waddingham joins an esteemed group who have served as Godparent to Princess ...